For the past five and a half years that we have been together, we have always celebrated Christmas at John's, and it's a little foreign that it's the first time that I have really felt a feelings of loss and yearning for my family. It could very well just be that I had only returned from a trip, which is the first time in almost ten years that I have timed it so close to Christmas, or just looking at the close times that John shared with his family that made me feel for my family, or just simple disbelief that my nephew and niece has forgotten my dedicated time with them just the past month, because they barely mention it anymore, especially him.
I still had a good time, but I also sensed that I was a little tired. Maybe I have indeed spread myself a little too thin during that visit and then everything that just rushed in at the end of the year, especially at work. Will I do it again? Funnily, I guess that is just who I am, and I wouldn't miss a single moment as I savour every memory as I pace through my photo album. It may not capture the moment as videos might, but memories help replay them like clockwork. I miss them.
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