John asked me the other day after I received the first phone call from my aunt after the coming out incident, "How long are you going to make her wait?"
I guess for me, I have been walking in trepedation after the incident, partly because of the embarassing questions I was subjected to, but also a loss at what the next step should be. Should I wait for them to make the next move, what can I do to make this a less painful experience? So many questions, so little suitable answers.
The conversation over the phone was short and I wondered if the real purpose was camouflaged by the actual subject we talked about. She did end the conversation with "Are you okay", sensing that I was a little tense when I picked up the phone. Maybe it was the few failed phone attempts earlier on my mobile that set me into this mood, I don't know. All I know in my heart was that I probably wasn't ready for any "new revelation".
My reply to John was two weeks ... with silent hope. I want to be able to tell her that everything is okay and I am proud of who I am, but I am fearful. I want to let her know what deep down, I have not changed, and I am still the same person fundamentally down under. She doesn't have to pigeonhole me into the gay stereotypes in her mind, because I want some of the same things as my gay compatriots but yet am different because I am who I am.
I received a letter from my friend who "caught me out" and is someone that I had also temporarily shut out of my life. I am not proud of that but I was at a loss, maybe as much as they are. The email was nice and accepting, and it gave me renewed courage to face her in the new light.
I guess we all needed time to adjust and rethink, but am aware that sometimes, time is an endless terminology. These incidents made me realise how wonderful my sister was, when I asked her how she felt after the revelation, and her reply was "I feel a little sad, but nothing has changed because after all you are still the same person and you are still my brother."
I know it is too much to ask for everyone to be able to immediately accept us for who we are, but a little kindness is always welcome. Maybe we need to anticipate their reactions and be kind and accepting as well. If we are not proud of who we are, then how can others accept us.
I know that I need to keep the communication because it is through courage and commitment that change will take place and results will occur. Courage comes from acceptance of the situation and the people involved, and each step breeds further confidence. I know that it is difficult path, but it is one that I had chosen, not to be gay but to be honest and to be proud of who I am.
I am thankful for the support I get from everyone and if there is someone out there walking the same path as I am, I hope my revelations allow you to know that you are not alone and I believe these experiences sometimes makes us stronger human beings because we learn to love each other more.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Goodbye Yesterday Hello Tomorrow?
Lately, I have been receiving quite a few emails from friends who have sent mass emails out about updating our information on the various address and birthday alerts databases like Plaxo and Mobile Friends Network on SMS.ac.
I generally don't have too much of a problem updating my moible phone number and email address or joining their "circuit of friends" but I wonder if this is the best replacement for our worn out address books that we have to replace once in a while.
We are so reliant nowadays on emails that sometimes I think we just don't make the effort to meet up anymore. There are endless "We've gotta catch up sometime" which tends to get lost in replies. This is usually unavoidable when it comes down to phone calls making an appointment because we can usually read the non-verbal signs through the intonation of the person's voice if they were really keen in the first place.
Another thing I have a problem with is the lack of communication after we update our information. Usually, I don't hear from them after I have done that and am probably just flooded with some information from the networks about how I can be a member and send my friends such reminders as well.
The only exception was receiving a note from my French university mate, Clement, who took the time to write back with Thanks and a follow up appointment. Personally, I think we need to follow up on these to make sure that technology enhances, not consumes our life and take away one of the most important and funadmental things of life ... human connection and communication.
What do we do after we get the information is what I want to know and understand? Do we use it as a contacts database that some people like to use for business purposes or is it a better form of keeping contacts, as they flaunt. Why is it then that we seem to hear nothing from them after we update our information?
Nothing makes me feel better than a phone call or a personal email from a friend saying "How are you?" and we can all make that difference, no matter how busy we are. Of course, if we are physically apart in different parts of the world, it is difficult to meet up, but I believe that we should all make the effort to meet up and make that connection, which I hope it is what this new technology brings about.
John is one of the best examples who doesn't dab into such technology, preferring his address book and I have great admiration for the effort he takes to remember birthdays and calling friends once in a while, and trying to tie up an appointment. My aunt is another person who has a knack for remembering birthdays and since she is blind, she has no way of using such systems. It is an art lost to technology nowadays and they are both rewarded with many close friends who appreciate their efforts and reciprocate.
Sometimes, I feel like the reason why we have Mothers and Fathers Day is to remind ourselves to show affection to people that we care about, which is bascially the same way these systems work . It is sad that we need such reminders, because we should love our family and friends only on these special day(s), it should be everyday or every single chance we get.
In this cold world, we need more of these people to keep the flame of human kinship alive. Nothing can take away the special connection humans have with each other but it up to us to make it happen and then keep it flowing ...
I generally don't have too much of a problem updating my moible phone number and email address or joining their "circuit of friends" but I wonder if this is the best replacement for our worn out address books that we have to replace once in a while.
We are so reliant nowadays on emails that sometimes I think we just don't make the effort to meet up anymore. There are endless "We've gotta catch up sometime" which tends to get lost in replies. This is usually unavoidable when it comes down to phone calls making an appointment because we can usually read the non-verbal signs through the intonation of the person's voice if they were really keen in the first place.
Another thing I have a problem with is the lack of communication after we update our information. Usually, I don't hear from them after I have done that and am probably just flooded with some information from the networks about how I can be a member and send my friends such reminders as well.
The only exception was receiving a note from my French university mate, Clement, who took the time to write back with Thanks and a follow up appointment. Personally, I think we need to follow up on these to make sure that technology enhances, not consumes our life and take away one of the most important and funadmental things of life ... human connection and communication.
What do we do after we get the information is what I want to know and understand? Do we use it as a contacts database that some people like to use for business purposes or is it a better form of keeping contacts, as they flaunt. Why is it then that we seem to hear nothing from them after we update our information?
Nothing makes me feel better than a phone call or a personal email from a friend saying "How are you?" and we can all make that difference, no matter how busy we are. Of course, if we are physically apart in different parts of the world, it is difficult to meet up, but I believe that we should all make the effort to meet up and make that connection, which I hope it is what this new technology brings about.
John is one of the best examples who doesn't dab into such technology, preferring his address book and I have great admiration for the effort he takes to remember birthdays and calling friends once in a while, and trying to tie up an appointment. My aunt is another person who has a knack for remembering birthdays and since she is blind, she has no way of using such systems. It is an art lost to technology nowadays and they are both rewarded with many close friends who appreciate their efforts and reciprocate.
Sometimes, I feel like the reason why we have Mothers and Fathers Day is to remind ourselves to show affection to people that we care about, which is bascially the same way these systems work . It is sad that we need such reminders, because we should love our family and friends only on these special day(s), it should be everyday or every single chance we get.
In this cold world, we need more of these people to keep the flame of human kinship alive. Nothing can take away the special connection humans have with each other but it up to us to make it happen and then keep it flowing ...
Thursday, August 25, 2005
70～80年代アイドル集 Part 2 - 堀ちえみ (My Favourite Top 5 Singles)
The next artiste for this special series is 堀ちえみ (Hori Chiemi). For the notoriously fickle Japanese audience, if a singer wants to be successful, they must have a clear idea of what image they want to project and the positioning in the mind of the consumer. Some singers are lucky enough to gain personal creative control, but many are under the thumbs of their record and production companies, and have to adhere to how they choose to market them.
Many Japanese pop singers are mostly semi professional with the best usually carving a niche for themselves. The top 3 female Japanese singers in the 80s (松田聖子 Matsuda Seiko, 中森明菜 Nakamori Akina and 小泉今日子 Koizumi Kyoko), knew exactly who they wanted to be, and thus they were successful, which in turn allowed them further creative control.
They also had good songwriters to pen good songs for them (especially Seiko and Akina), and for less fortunate ones, they have to try their best to seek out their fortunes. Chiemi is one of those. Like Yu, Chiemi does not have a strong voice. She also has a rather nasal voice, which makes it difficult for her to attempt more mature and adventurous numbers. So, she stuck to the traditional Japanese bubblegum pop tunes she was most comfortable with. She didn't really have a style or patricular image, and I believe she tried a few images but none really persisted. Thankfully, she was the most active amongst all the 1982 idols in TV dramas, and that is how myself and most Singaporeans were introduced to her.
Starring in the TV drama, "スタア誕生" about a starlet wannabe, this role probably mirrors Chiemi's professional life. It was telecast after the highly popular "Oshin" in the 7.30 pm primetime slot and this contemporary drama was a moderate hit. Most people who watched the drama and listened to the theme song mistook that for Chiemi's voice and song, including myself. It was only after I joined "Familiar Music Library" that I realised that the singer of the theme song was actually "葛城ユキ (Katsuragi Yuki)" and the song was「ハートブレイカー HEART BREAKER」. They were worlds apart because 葛城ユキ had a dry raspy voice but the theme song was so catchy, we were all captivated. The closest single that Chiemi has to this song is probably her second best selling single "クレイジーラブ".
Likewise in Japan, the dramas that Chiemi starred in were relative hits, and thus her music career soared as she appeared in TV dramas and movies. Though her musical success was limited in part to her vocal prowess and songs, she achieved chart success that some of her peers could only dream of. She has two Oricon Number 2 Singles (クレイジーラブ & リ・ボ・ン) and in terms of chart positions, she is third in position to the Top 3 stars listed above). As I reveal the rest of the series, you will understand this fact.
Compared to her peers, she has also had one of the most tumultous personal journeys amongst them all. After being discovered by the papparazzi for having a scandalous date with then married and very popular songwriter 後藤次利 (who was the Japanese "Stock, Aiken and Waterman" and wrote many songs for Japanese pop idols), she was diagnosed with anorexia. Her weight dropped to an all time low of 35 kgs, and lost all her baby fat that she carried throughout most of her career. She never looked better but she was very visibly affected by the negative press and so was her public image and sales. She decided to retire from showbiz in early 1987.
She got married a year or two later and had two or three children (all boys) and in the 1989 or 1990, seeked divorce because her dentist husband was physically abusing her. She remarried, had two more children (in total 5) and for unknown reasons (to me at least), divorced again and is currently single. She is now one of the most active among her peers, probably because she has 5 children (4 boys and 1 girl) to look after. I will be updating her current happenings at the very end.
My Favourite 5 songs for 堀ちえみ
(1) 素敵な休日
20th Single
発売日: 21.10.1986
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 29
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 3
売上数: 1.2 万枚 (11,490 copies sold)
Composed by singer-songwriter 尾崎亜美 (which wrote many good pop songs), this lovely song is a departure from most of the songs that Chiemi has released in the past. It's light melody beginning with a beautiful flute arrangement and Chiemi's new light singing, makes this my favourite song of Chiemi's. It's not a well known song because it was the 2nd last single of her career in the 80s before she went into retirement. It is also the poorest selling single but that had to do more with the scandal and the negativity than the song itself. The fans however liked it enough to vote it into Myojo Monthly別冊付録 YOUNG SONG Year End Top 100, making it her only entry that year.
(2) 東京 Sugar Town
12th Single
発売日: 18.7.1984
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 3
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 11
売上数: 14.2 万枚 (141,750 copies sold)
The first Chiemi song I ever listened to, and a choice also partly influenced by her one and only performance at 1984 紅白歌合戦, which is one of my favourites because it featured many good songs that year. If chart positions are a judgment of a song's success, then this is Chiemi's first big hit. It made its debut at No. 8 but climbed up to No. 3 the next, making it her highest chart entry ever. This song also renewed a record for Chiemi at the programme, ザ・ベストテン (The Best 10) where it was the first time Chiemi appeared in it for 5 weeks in a row. Since this programme combined all the sales, radio requests chart and fans votes, one can argue it is a more hit indicative chart than オリコン (Oricon) itself, which only bases itself on sales. This chart success, which is probably achieved by her popularity from TV dramas at that time, paved the way for her to achieve greater success with her next two singles, クレイジーラブ & リ・ボ・ン, which both peaked at No. 2. Bubblegum pop at its best.
(3) リ・ボ・ン
14th Single
発売日: 23.1.1985
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 2
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 10
売上数: 15.4 万枚 (153,040 copies sold)
I have done an unofficial survey of Chiemi, and the most favourable song that pops up in most people's memory is this particular number. It is in my view, the first "grown up" song for Chiemi, as she started to break away from her more childish numbers and try to carve a niche for herself. It is also the last "big hit" for Chiemi. This mid tempo song has a tight melody and is rather infectious and Chiemi should have followed this style which suited her, but she went to a more adventurous "Deadend Street GIRL" where she tried a tsupaari (rebellious) image, but didn't suit her very much and started the descent for her career.
Remarkably, most of the 1982 idols started their "downfall" in the 85-86, where more and more cute star wannabes evolved. Since most of them banked on their cute looks when they started and didn't differentiate them quick enough, they were overtaken by younger and cuter idols. Ironically, most of them were only in their 19s and 20s, barely classified as old, but in Japanese pop culture, with 13 and 14 year olds making their debut everyday, they are viewed as "ancient".
She has also re-recorded a new version of リ・ボ・ン（ぼくらのベストVersion), which has been updated and is more catchy than the original.
(4) 夕暮れ気分
9th Single
発売日: 05.10.1983
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 8
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 15
売上数: 14.4 万枚 (144,370 copies sold)
The second longest charting song in Chiemi's career (behind her debut 潮風の少女 at 16 weeks), this melancholic number marks another "grown up" phase in Chiemi's career. There is something about songs that describe the evening moods that appeal to me, like the mysterious darkness or the calmness of it sometimes, and maybe this is the way I feel about this song. There is a certain warmth and melancholy in Chiemi's interpretation, and also the sweet melody which stays with me ...
(5) 愛を今信じていたい
21st Single
発売日:21.03.1987
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 35
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 5
売上数: 2.5 万枚 (24,640 copies sold)
Chiemi's farewell song and the company finally asked future Jpop now legend songwriter Chiemi penned her own lyrics for the first time. As the title suggests, she still believes that her fans love her, and listening to the song today, I realised that her voice is barely recognisable in parts, where the producer has managed to develop a more mature voice, without most of her trademark nasal nuances. She is now a grown woman.
5th single
発売日:21.01.1983
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 8 (Fist Top 10 Hit)
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 13
売上数: 18.7 万枚 (186990 copies sold)
Many Japanese pop singers are mostly semi professional with the best usually carving a niche for themselves. The top 3 female Japanese singers in the 80s (松田聖子 Matsuda Seiko, 中森明菜 Nakamori Akina and 小泉今日子 Koizumi Kyoko), knew exactly who they wanted to be, and thus they were successful, which in turn allowed them further creative control.
They also had good songwriters to pen good songs for them (especially Seiko and Akina), and for less fortunate ones, they have to try their best to seek out their fortunes. Chiemi is one of those. Like Yu, Chiemi does not have a strong voice. She also has a rather nasal voice, which makes it difficult for her to attempt more mature and adventurous numbers. So, she stuck to the traditional Japanese bubblegum pop tunes she was most comfortable with. She didn't really have a style or patricular image, and I believe she tried a few images but none really persisted. Thankfully, she was the most active amongst all the 1982 idols in TV dramas, and that is how myself and most Singaporeans were introduced to her.
Starring in the TV drama, "スタア誕生" about a starlet wannabe, this role probably mirrors Chiemi's professional life. It was telecast after the highly popular "Oshin" in the 7.30 pm primetime slot and this contemporary drama was a moderate hit. Most people who watched the drama and listened to the theme song mistook that for Chiemi's voice and song, including myself. It was only after I joined "Familiar Music Library" that I realised that the singer of the theme song was actually "葛城ユキ (Katsuragi Yuki)" and the song was「ハートブレイカー HEART BREAKER」. They were worlds apart because 葛城ユキ had a dry raspy voice but the theme song was so catchy, we were all captivated. The closest single that Chiemi has to this song is probably her second best selling single "クレイジーラブ".
Likewise in Japan, the dramas that Chiemi starred in were relative hits, and thus her music career soared as she appeared in TV dramas and movies. Though her musical success was limited in part to her vocal prowess and songs, she achieved chart success that some of her peers could only dream of. She has two Oricon Number 2 Singles (クレイジーラブ & リ・ボ・ン) and in terms of chart positions, she is third in position to the Top 3 stars listed above). As I reveal the rest of the series, you will understand this fact.
Compared to her peers, she has also had one of the most tumultous personal journeys amongst them all. After being discovered by the papparazzi for having a scandalous date with then married and very popular songwriter 後藤次利 (who was the Japanese "Stock, Aiken and Waterman" and wrote many songs for Japanese pop idols), she was diagnosed with anorexia. Her weight dropped to an all time low of 35 kgs, and lost all her baby fat that she carried throughout most of her career. She never looked better but she was very visibly affected by the negative press and so was her public image and sales. She decided to retire from showbiz in early 1987.
She got married a year or two later and had two or three children (all boys) and in the 1989 or 1990, seeked divorce because her dentist husband was physically abusing her. She remarried, had two more children (in total 5) and for unknown reasons (to me at least), divorced again and is currently single. She is now one of the most active among her peers, probably because she has 5 children (4 boys and 1 girl) to look after. I will be updating her current happenings at the very end.
My Favourite 5 songs for 堀ちえみ
(1) 素敵な休日
20th Single
発売日: 21.10.1986
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 29
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 3
売上数: 1.2 万枚 (11,490 copies sold)
Composed by singer-songwriter 尾崎亜美 (which wrote many good pop songs), this lovely song is a departure from most of the songs that Chiemi has released in the past. It's light melody beginning with a beautiful flute arrangement and Chiemi's new light singing, makes this my favourite song of Chiemi's. It's not a well known song because it was the 2nd last single of her career in the 80s before she went into retirement. It is also the poorest selling single but that had to do more with the scandal and the negativity than the song itself. The fans however liked it enough to vote it into Myojo Monthly別冊付録 YOUNG SONG Year End Top 100, making it her only entry that year.
(2) 東京 Sugar Town
12th Single
発売日: 18.7.1984
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 3
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 11
売上数: 14.2 万枚 (141,750 copies sold)
The first Chiemi song I ever listened to, and a choice also partly influenced by her one and only performance at 1984 紅白歌合戦, which is one of my favourites because it featured many good songs that year. If chart positions are a judgment of a song's success, then this is Chiemi's first big hit. It made its debut at No. 8 but climbed up to No. 3 the next, making it her highest chart entry ever. This song also renewed a record for Chiemi at the programme, ザ・ベストテン (The Best 10) where it was the first time Chiemi appeared in it for 5 weeks in a row. Since this programme combined all the sales, radio requests chart and fans votes, one can argue it is a more hit indicative chart than オリコン (Oricon) itself, which only bases itself on sales. This chart success, which is probably achieved by her popularity from TV dramas at that time, paved the way for her to achieve greater success with her next two singles, クレイジーラブ & リ・ボ・ン, which both peaked at No. 2. Bubblegum pop at its best.
(3) リ・ボ・ン
14th Single
発売日: 23.1.1985
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 2
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 10
売上数: 15.4 万枚 (153,040 copies sold)
I have done an unofficial survey of Chiemi, and the most favourable song that pops up in most people's memory is this particular number. It is in my view, the first "grown up" song for Chiemi, as she started to break away from her more childish numbers and try to carve a niche for herself. It is also the last "big hit" for Chiemi. This mid tempo song has a tight melody and is rather infectious and Chiemi should have followed this style which suited her, but she went to a more adventurous "Deadend Street GIRL" where she tried a tsupaari (rebellious) image, but didn't suit her very much and started the descent for her career.
Remarkably, most of the 1982 idols started their "downfall" in the 85-86, where more and more cute star wannabes evolved. Since most of them banked on their cute looks when they started and didn't differentiate them quick enough, they were overtaken by younger and cuter idols. Ironically, most of them were only in their 19s and 20s, barely classified as old, but in Japanese pop culture, with 13 and 14 year olds making their debut everyday, they are viewed as "ancient".
She has also re-recorded a new version of リ・ボ・ン（ぼくらのベストVersion), which has been updated and is more catchy than the original.
(4) 夕暮れ気分
9th Single
発売日: 05.10.1983
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 8
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 15
売上数: 14.4 万枚 (144,370 copies sold)
The second longest charting song in Chiemi's career (behind her debut 潮風の少女 at 16 weeks), this melancholic number marks another "grown up" phase in Chiemi's career. There is something about songs that describe the evening moods that appeal to me, like the mysterious darkness or the calmness of it sometimes, and maybe this is the way I feel about this song. There is a certain warmth and melancholy in Chiemi's interpretation, and also the sweet melody which stays with me ...
(5) 愛を今信じていたい
21st Single
発売日:21.03.1987
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 35
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 5
売上数: 2.5 万枚 (24,640 copies sold)
Chiemi's farewell song and the company finally asked future Jpop now legend songwriter Chiemi penned her own lyrics for the first time. As the title suggests, she still believes that her fans love her, and listening to the song today, I realised that her voice is barely recognisable in parts, where the producer has managed to develop a more mature voice, without most of her trademark nasal nuances. She is now a grown woman.
She performed this song at the 87年 3月11日の『夜のヒットスタジオＤＸ』(Yoru no Hit Studio Deluxe) program and announced her official retirement. She sobbed during the singing and was supported by 早見優 (Hayami Yu) , 石川秀美 (Ishikawa Hidemi) and シブがき隊 Shibugaki Tai, who were her best friends in the music industry.
Proving her fans didn't forget her, this song made it to the Myojo Monthly別冊付録 YOUNG SONG 1987 Year End Chart Top 100 as well.
Best Selling Single:
5th single
発売日:21.01.1983
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 8 (Fist Top 10 Hit)
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 13
売上数: 18.7 万枚 (186990 copies sold)
Now, onto her current happenings. As I mentioned earlier, Chiemi has been rather active recently and I saw her on TV during my last trip to Tokyo. She looks great and her new production company "ぼくらのベスト" has not only released a new definitive Best Collection (All A & B side songs of her career in the 80s) and also a new album after 18 years - 80's Idol Song Collection next month, where she covers many songs of her peers. Very cleverly, she has omitted any Akina or Seiko songs. It looks really interesting and I would like to get my hands on a copy. She is also holding two concerts in Osaka and Toyko next month.
I didn't think I liked Chiemi that much before I started this, but I guess I did because of the wealth of information I know about her. What I am aware though is that I like her more now because of her strength and this is something we can all learn from.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
70～80年代アイドル集 Part 1 - 早見優 (My Favourite Top 5 Singles)
It has always been a desire of mine to share my past experiences and knowledge of Japanese Pop from the 70s and 80s, and I thought what better way for me to do so than to pick up my favourite 5 singles from each artiste that graced my life and ears when I first came into contact with Japanese music in 1984.
For those who are unaware, my first contact with JPop arrived in January 1984 when I walked home after school with the evening Mandarin newspaper that had a article on the pop idols that starred in the 1983 紅白歌合戦 that was due to screen that weekend. The young stars were lined up in a calendar spread, and being fascinated by the pretty faces, I rushed home and ushered my siblings to each pick a favourite. Somehow, I managed to pick 中森明菜 (Nakamori Akina) from the start, while my sister chose 早見優 (Hayami Yu) and my brother, 柏原芳恵 (Kashiwabara Yoshie). They weren't as interested as I was, but I remember sitting down that Saturday evening, and from then on, it was point of no return.
For starters, since it was 1984 that I started my JPop journey, I found it fitting to start off this series with the upcoming starlets of 1982, the year which spawned the greatest number of young individual female idols in its history of pop music and whom most of them scored their biggest hits in 1983 and 1984. A total of 5 of them, 中森明菜, 堀ちえみ (Hori Chiemi), 小泉今日子 (Koizumi Kyoko),早見優, 石川秀美 (Ishikawa Hidemi) all made their debut in 1982 to varying degrees of success. Coincidentally, almost all of them, except Akina, had their first break with their 5th single (and sometimes best selling in their career). Strange isn't it?
The first in my 70-80's Idol Series - My Favourite Single Top 5 is 早見優 (Hayami Yu). The reason why I started with her is not only because my sister's looks have been compared to hers while she was growing up, but also that she was my two close friends, Leslie's and Zing's favourite JPop Idol. I have chosen to split them all up, so that it will be a "love project" and that you can comment on each singer if you like.
Yu grew up in Hawaii and only came back to Japan when she was 14, and was discovered by a talent agency that groomed her into a singer. Though Yu does not have a strong singing voice, her sunny disposition, olive skin and ability to speak fluent English differentiated her from the rest.
Current activities (mostly from her official site): Yu has travelled worldwide acting as an ambassador and representative for Japan and was specially chosen to represent the Japanese Entertainment Community as an Artist Ambassador for the Earth Summit held in Brazil in 1992. She has since become active in addressing the need to educate the public on the many issues concerning global ecology, hosting a weekly radio program focusing on this theme. Her most recent achievement has been on stage where she completed three seasons of performance as Cosette in the Japanese adaptation of "Les Miserables", which received overwhelming reviews from theatre critics. While furthering her career she hopes to utilize her bicultural background internationally.
She also married her long time friend of 15 years from Hawaii and they currently have 2 daughters, the older which she released an album last year on children's songs with titled "Let's Sing Together".
My Favourite 5 songs for早見優
(1) 夏色のナンシー
5th Single
発売日: 1.4.1983
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 7
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 17
売上数: 26.9 万枚 (269,000 copies sold) - Yu's Best Selling Single
This is first song I heard from Yu, and sometimes, they leave a lasting impression. It was her first appearance on 紅白歌合戦 and she looked very cute in her white costume. It is also her best selling single, helped by it being a Coca Cola commercial song. It broke many grounds for Yu and propelled her to new heights. It was also the first Japanese song that I ever learned to mime, so it is a very special song for me. It has been written in an interview that Yu does not like the song very much and some of the others that followed because it was too cutesy, but this is her definitive single.
(2) PASSION
14th Single
発売日: 1.8.1985
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 10
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 13
売上数: 11.7 万枚 (117,000 copies sold)
This song marks the style of Western infected Pop that is Yu's favourite. It is the theme song for a movie that starred Yu herself titled "Kids" and is about delinquents (I think). It won Yu some awards at the end of the year ceremonies and is a catchy track. It is also her 3rd and final appearance at 紅白歌合戦 in the 80s.
This song is made more memorable to me because my friend Zing performed this at a Karaoke contest once when I was a member of a JPop club "Familiar Music Library" in Singapore and won 2nd place. We were so happy for him then and he was wonderful in imitating her dance sequence as well. Since I wasn't allowed to many of these events when I was growing up because my mother thought it was a waste of time (i.e. it would not improve my studies), it was a night that I would never forget.
The coupling song "Xanadu" is one of my favorites as well.
(3) 誘惑光線・クラッ!
9th Single
発売日: 31.3.1984
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 7
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 12
売上数: 15.5 万枚 (155,000 copies sold)
Another 紅白歌合戦 influenced choice. Yu sang this at her second performance in 1984. She was the first performer and all the other singers from the Red Team danced behind her as she sang this catchy number. I don't think the lyrics are very deep in meaning but it is infectious bubblegum pop. Once again, it is memorable because Zing sang this after he won 2nd place, complete with all the signature dance steps.
(4) 哀愁情句
11th Single
発売日: 3.10.1984
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 8
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 8
売上数: 8.0 万枚 (80,000 copies sold)
After releasing mostly up tempo bubblegum pop which Yu dislikes (she lists "渚のライオン" & "Me★セーラーマン" as the worst culprits and I agree) after her big hit 夏色のナンシー, where they carried on the "success formula", she changes her musical direction and attempts this adult contemporary song. It is a mature sad number and Yu took 4 tries before she managed to record it satisfactorily. Though her sales slipped further, it nonetheless marked the first step that Yu took control of her career and during the next year, we see her venturing into Western JPop direction she desired.
Incidentally, "渚のライオン" (16.8 万枚) is her second biggest selling single and "Me★セーラーマン" (9.9万枚) sold better than "哀愁情句", but musically, they are probably one of the worst singles of Yu's career.
(5) ハートは戻らない - Get Out Of My Life -
16th Single
発売日: 21.3.1987
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 15
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 17
売上数: 13.2 万枚 (132,000 copies sold)
The "comeback" single. After Yu was dropped from the invitees list from 紅白歌合戦 in 1986, many people wrote Yu off after a year of dismal sales, all averaging between 4-5万枚. She released this disco infected track in March 1987, and though it was a slow burner, it remained on the charts for 17 weeks (a tie with 夏色のナンシー for most weeks on chart for Yu's career). Written by American songwriters, it was a hit that spawned her one and only 12 inch single "Heart Wa Modorani - Get out Of My Life".
It propelled her back onto the spotlight for a little while and even garnered her most positive album reviews and sales for a long time with "Get Down". This is her last big hit before she moved to further emulate the success of this single.
I hope you enjoyed this little commentary. I will be updating more in the next few days and I hope this brings you down memory lane and if you have any comments/suggestions, or would like to share you stories, I would love to hear more about it.
For those who are unaware, my first contact with JPop arrived in January 1984 when I walked home after school with the evening Mandarin newspaper that had a article on the pop idols that starred in the 1983 紅白歌合戦 that was due to screen that weekend. The young stars were lined up in a calendar spread, and being fascinated by the pretty faces, I rushed home and ushered my siblings to each pick a favourite. Somehow, I managed to pick 中森明菜 (Nakamori Akina) from the start, while my sister chose 早見優 (Hayami Yu) and my brother, 柏原芳恵 (Kashiwabara Yoshie). They weren't as interested as I was, but I remember sitting down that Saturday evening, and from then on, it was point of no return.
For starters, since it was 1984 that I started my JPop journey, I found it fitting to start off this series with the upcoming starlets of 1982, the year which spawned the greatest number of young individual female idols in its history of pop music and whom most of them scored their biggest hits in 1983 and 1984. A total of 5 of them, 中森明菜, 堀ちえみ (Hori Chiemi), 小泉今日子 (Koizumi Kyoko),早見優, 石川秀美 (Ishikawa Hidemi) all made their debut in 1982 to varying degrees of success. Coincidentally, almost all of them, except Akina, had their first break with their 5th single (and sometimes best selling in their career). Strange isn't it?
The first in my 70-80's Idol Series - My Favourite Single Top 5 is 早見優 (Hayami Yu). The reason why I started with her is not only because my sister's looks have been compared to hers while she was growing up, but also that she was my two close friends, Leslie's and Zing's favourite JPop Idol. I have chosen to split them all up, so that it will be a "love project" and that you can comment on each singer if you like.
Yu grew up in Hawaii and only came back to Japan when she was 14, and was discovered by a talent agency that groomed her into a singer. Though Yu does not have a strong singing voice, her sunny disposition, olive skin and ability to speak fluent English differentiated her from the rest.
Current activities (mostly from her official site): Yu has travelled worldwide acting as an ambassador and representative for Japan and was specially chosen to represent the Japanese Entertainment Community as an Artist Ambassador for the Earth Summit held in Brazil in 1992. She has since become active in addressing the need to educate the public on the many issues concerning global ecology, hosting a weekly radio program focusing on this theme. Her most recent achievement has been on stage where she completed three seasons of performance as Cosette in the Japanese adaptation of "Les Miserables", which received overwhelming reviews from theatre critics. While furthering her career she hopes to utilize her bicultural background internationally.
She also married her long time friend of 15 years from Hawaii and they currently have 2 daughters, the older which she released an album last year on children's songs with titled "Let's Sing Together".
My Favourite 5 songs for早見優
(1) 夏色のナンシー
5th Single
発売日: 1.4.1983
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 7
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 17
売上数: 26.9 万枚 (269,000 copies sold) - Yu's Best Selling Single
This is first song I heard from Yu, and sometimes, they leave a lasting impression. It was her first appearance on 紅白歌合戦 and she looked very cute in her white costume. It is also her best selling single, helped by it being a Coca Cola commercial song. It broke many grounds for Yu and propelled her to new heights. It was also the first Japanese song that I ever learned to mime, so it is a very special song for me. It has been written in an interview that Yu does not like the song very much and some of the others that followed because it was too cutesy, but this is her definitive single.
(2) PASSION
14th Single
発売日: 1.8.1985
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 10
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 13
売上数: 11.7 万枚 (117,000 copies sold)
This song marks the style of Western infected Pop that is Yu's favourite. It is the theme song for a movie that starred Yu herself titled "Kids" and is about delinquents (I think). It won Yu some awards at the end of the year ceremonies and is a catchy track. It is also her 3rd and final appearance at 紅白歌合戦 in the 80s.
This song is made more memorable to me because my friend Zing performed this at a Karaoke contest once when I was a member of a JPop club "Familiar Music Library" in Singapore and won 2nd place. We were so happy for him then and he was wonderful in imitating her dance sequence as well. Since I wasn't allowed to many of these events when I was growing up because my mother thought it was a waste of time (i.e. it would not improve my studies), it was a night that I would never forget.
The coupling song "Xanadu" is one of my favorites as well.
(3) 誘惑光線・クラッ!
9th Single
発売日: 31.3.1984
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 7
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 12
売上数: 15.5 万枚 (155,000 copies sold)
Another 紅白歌合戦 influenced choice. Yu sang this at her second performance in 1984. She was the first performer and all the other singers from the Red Team danced behind her as she sang this catchy number. I don't think the lyrics are very deep in meaning but it is infectious bubblegum pop. Once again, it is memorable because Zing sang this after he won 2nd place, complete with all the signature dance steps.
(4) 哀愁情句
11th Single
発売日: 3.10.1984
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 8
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 8
売上数: 8.0 万枚 (80,000 copies sold)
After releasing mostly up tempo bubblegum pop which Yu dislikes (she lists "渚のライオン" & "Me★セーラーマン" as the worst culprits and I agree) after her big hit 夏色のナンシー, where they carried on the "success formula", she changes her musical direction and attempts this adult contemporary song. It is a mature sad number and Yu took 4 tries before she managed to record it satisfactorily. Though her sales slipped further, it nonetheless marked the first step that Yu took control of her career and during the next year, we see her venturing into Western JPop direction she desired.
Incidentally, "渚のライオン" (16.8 万枚) is her second biggest selling single and "Me★セーラーマン" (9.9万枚) sold better than "哀愁情句", but musically, they are probably one of the worst singles of Yu's career.
(5) ハートは戻らない - Get Out Of My Life -
16th Single
発売日: 21.3.1987
オリコン最高位 (Highest Oricon Chart Position): 15
登場週数 (Weeks on Top 100): 17
売上数: 13.2 万枚 (132,000 copies sold)
The "comeback" single. After Yu was dropped from the invitees list from 紅白歌合戦 in 1986, many people wrote Yu off after a year of dismal sales, all averaging between 4-5万枚. She released this disco infected track in March 1987, and though it was a slow burner, it remained on the charts for 17 weeks (a tie with 夏色のナンシー for most weeks on chart for Yu's career). Written by American songwriters, it was a hit that spawned her one and only 12 inch single "Heart Wa Modorani - Get out Of My Life".
It propelled her back onto the spotlight for a little while and even garnered her most positive album reviews and sales for a long time with "Get Down". This is her last big hit before she moved to further emulate the success of this single.
I hope you enjoyed this little commentary. I will be updating more in the next few days and I hope this brings you down memory lane and if you have any comments/suggestions, or would like to share you stories, I would love to hear more about it.
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Finding Neverland
Looking at her and her innocent/naive ways, it reminded me of the days when I first found myself in such situations. Is it really so bad of us to expect a fairytale start and finish to the fantasy in our dream? Why is it so wrong to have expectations of our lover? How do we define our first love? Is it the first crush or the first full blown affair that we have with someone?
For me, I sometimes consider my first love to be my current relationship because it is the first time I have such intense feelings for someone which is reciprocated. Though we have been together for more than 3 years, everyday is still a learning journey for us in building the relationship that we want.
It is easy to confine our thoughts and ideals to the societal norms and want what our heterosexual "comrades" want, though for me, the idea of marriage is more about respect for both of us as individuals and recognition of our love. However, I have learnt through the years that every couple is different and it is important for us to carve the path we both want to walk on .... It is a sign of maturity and at times, I wonder if it robs me of my innocence and my dreams ... of a "perfect" relationship.
Is there such a thing as a perfect relationship? How do we start defining it? As the years go by, I know that it is about respect, communication, support and free loving. Loving and not having the expectations. Just enjoying all the joys of giving our love and being appreciated . Sometimes, when we don't show appreciation for the things we desire most, we will not get them anymore because the giver doesn't understand that we actually want more of it. So, there is also honest communication with each other but kindness has to be present. To love freely is not to suffocate because love cannot grow out of a vacuum, and both parties need to grow. Relationships are difficult things and there is plenty of work needed to live with someone and love them at the same time, but the rewards are fulfilling. As long as both parties are happy, loving and supportive, then we should be contented.
Knowing some of my friends who have grown cynical over the years with each relationship failure, I try my best to inject some sunshine into their lives, and am sometimes with a compromising smile. It's difficult to love like you have never been hurt before because no matter how we try to shake it, we will always have that little bit of baggage with us. However, closure is important for us to move on in our lives. Can we regain that bit of "innocence" and belief that we are still lovable and that we are still worthy of a lovely relationship? To me, that is still possible if we believe. If it is up to us to create the relationship that we want, then it is also up to us and our minds to believe that happiness is still possible and dreams can still come true.
I look at my friend who is heartbroken and I think of my times that I have learned to grow and accept that things will not always work out the way we want, and that most of the times, we just can't have expectations that the person will perform the way we want them to. Like us, they have their own life and path to walk. This is reality. Thankfully, I have done some personal development courses to differentiate their choices with the meaning I can allocate to their actions, and am more capable to take a step behind and look at the situation more carefully. Sometimes in our rage, confusion and frustration, we say and do things we don't mean to, and it hurts both parties, so it is sometimes good to take some time out to cool down and reconstruct our emotions. When it is a first love, it is tougher because we are less experienced and the expectations are higher, but still dreams don't have to be squashed with every failure.
John told me that my innocence will still be intact even if we grow in our relationship. Like our recent favourite movie, "Finding Neverland", it is all in believing. Today, as I reflect on my responses to my friend yesterday night, I can smile, because even though I have shared with her some of my process of growing up and my realisations, I have remained hopeful and this is my innocence alive.
Sunday, August 07, 2005
Loves Of My Life
Just jumping the gun a little here to share a photo showing my spoils from Tokyo. As I mentioned, I went out with a mission in mind - to get CDs and DVDs of my favourite female 80s pop artistes in Japan and came back with a harvest. Tien and Eugin very kindly copied some CDs for me, allowing me to complete most of my wish list, and when I showed them to my Japanese friends here in Sydney, there was a mixture of exhilaration and disbelief. I wanted to share this photo to see if some of you interested souls can spot the long forgotten oldies but goodies of the 80s.
The best part of it was observing the joy Felix had and I was really happy that I could "let go" of all these "prized" possessions and lend them to him, many of which I hadn't even had a chance to listen to. In the past, I would have felt very possessive and selfish but as I grow older, I start realising that life is temporal and too short not to share the joys of your lives. If I kept them all to myself, I would not be able to discuss them further with anyone which would shorten, instead of extending the pleasure. Somehow, life has a way of returning the good that we give as well. All in the joys of giving itself.
I have also learnt plenty from the younger Eugin , who is always so generous with all his possessions, and allowing me to relive many memories and dreams. I am most happy that I am able to do that and a friend remarked today that I am slowly becoming a Buddhist, with the Zen like qualities or being able to let go ...
Lastly, I wanted to share another special photo, which I took with one hand holding the camera, a trick taught by Leslie himself, and it was unexpectedly beautiful because the subject is one of the major loves of my life ...
The best part of it was observing the joy Felix had and I was really happy that I could "let go" of all these "prized" possessions and lend them to him, many of which I hadn't even had a chance to listen to. In the past, I would have felt very possessive and selfish but as I grow older, I start realising that life is temporal and too short not to share the joys of your lives. If I kept them all to myself, I would not be able to discuss them further with anyone which would shorten, instead of extending the pleasure. Somehow, life has a way of returning the good that we give as well. All in the joys of giving itself.
I have also learnt plenty from the younger Eugin , who is always so generous with all his possessions, and allowing me to relive many memories and dreams. I am most happy that I am able to do that and a friend remarked today that I am slowly becoming a Buddhist, with the Zen like qualities or being able to let go ...
Lastly, I wanted to share another special photo, which I took with one hand holding the camera, a trick taught by Leslie himself, and it was unexpectedly beautiful because the subject is one of the major loves of my life ...
My Tokyo Trip - 東京の旅- Part 1
I am going to write about my trip to Tokyo and I am describing it in installments by day. It may not be full accounts because it has after all, been more than 2 weeks since I have been back, but I will do my best here to introduce my little trip. Unfortunately, I have not been able to venture very far outside the concrete jungles of Tokyo and also many places of interest, which I had already covered during my past 2 trips, so it may not be a very scenic “tour” for many of you. I have only revisited many places that I had loved during my past 2 trips, and as I mentioned before I left, a trip of nostalgia.
I first arrived on 14th July, after a 14 hour flight from Sydney to Narita Airport. This is the longest time I had ever spent on an airplane but thankfully, during the first leg from Sydney to Singapore, I had a really nice time with a lady who was on her first overseas trip from Australia to South Africa, Europe, and then the US. It is first time I had forsaken the movies and sunk into deep conversations with her about her trip and what we were both going to do respectively. I admired her taking 4 months out to explore her dream and she acknowledged me for my impulsiveness to fly on such short notice to fulfill a great dream come true. We didn't end up exchanging numbers at the end because I believe fate brought us there for a reason and if we are meant to be friends, we will meet again. However, I wish her a best time ahead.
I had a relatively easy time past Japanese customs as compared to my previous encounter, maybe because I was slightly more experienced and I wasn't carrying 4 suspiciously big bags. As I queued up to pass customs, I started to panic about the visa situation when I looked at the TV screens that warned of deportation if you do not have a visa to enter the country. I searched through my memory and recalled that I did need to apply for a visa when I entered Japan the first time, but was quickly put to ease when I saw the list of countries exempted from having to apply for a visa a little while later and I was safe.
I wanted to fill my customs entry card in Japanese but thought it might be better I not show off. So, I settled for only a Japanese comment "コンサートへ いきます (To watch a concert)" as the reason for entering Japan. I walked up to a counter with a friendly Japanese female customs officer and greeted her in Japanese. I learned that if you were friendly, they were likely to return the favour. She screened through the details and then asked whose concert I was going to. I replied "Nakamori Akina." She smiled and said "Honto" (Really), probably because she was partly surprised that Akina still held concerts, but still said "Enjoy your concert and your stay".
After walking down a flight of stairs, I picked up my luggage from the belt and started through the baggage checkpoints. Just when I was expecting a thorough search because he asked me to place my luggage on the desk, he asked "Where are you from", I replied "Australia", and he said "You're okay to go". I guess that was one of the biggest advantages of having one of the strictest customs in the world in Australia.
The first thing I did after entering Tokyo was to immerse myself in the morning air of Narita Airport. I think I kept saying "Natsukashii" (Nostalgia) even though the airport had been renovated since I was last there. There was still a sense of familiarity for me. I proceeded onto one of my favourite things about Tokyo ... their drinks vending machines. No other country in the world that I have been too, cares as much about packaging and there is such a huge variety of drinks and vending machines available, that I don't think I got to try everything in them. I was most delighted though to find that they have many recyclable bins nowadays which wasn't available when I was first there.
The past 2 times I've been to Tokyo, I had taken the limousine bus from Narita Airport to one of their destination stops, usually a hotel, and then a cab back to my aunts, but being more adventurous this time, I decided to take the trains, and was I in for a shock, when I looked at the various subway maps. After I tried looking for the station that I was meant to alight for about 5 minutes, I gave up and went to the counter to purchase a ticket. Thankfully, the lady spoke a bit of English and was helpful in letting me understand that the train was departing in about 10 minutes on platform 1.
I walked down and looked at the map inside the train for “Mita” Station. Since it was rather complicated and I couldn’t figure it out still, I decided to ask a schoolgirl if the train headed that way. It was a mistake because it was rather far away (about 1 and a half hour ride) and she wasn’t heading that far, so she said No. Just as the train was about the depart, I saw the train guard but as he confirmed, it was too late to board the train, so I had to wait for the next. I asked another elderly man this time who reaffirmed that the train does not go to Mita, and just as I was about to ignore him, he hurriedly pointed out further in Japanese that it does, and started rattling on. My Japanese is only rather elementary, so I tried to make out what he was saying. He started pointing to the subway map and it was then that I realized that I had to change at another station before I could get to the Mita station. I was so happy I nearly hugged him but I refrained, as he started talking more and more, and I could sprinkle many nods with “Hai” (Yes) and “Arigatoo” at the end, to thank him for his help.
It was a rainy day but nothing would dampen my mood. In total, it took me almost 3 hours and 3 changes of trains (including carrying my 30 kg luggage up and down the stairs a couple of times), which wasn’t fun (as opposed to 1 and a half hour via limousine bus). I finally arrived at a familiar place that I was going to stay for 7 days – Fudomae 不動前. The station has been renovated but the streets were still familiar from memory. It is a suburban town but I was surprised to see the development of the area and the increased number of people since I was there last in 1998, and later found out that it was because Motorola had opened a subsidiary there.
I walked to my aunt’s second storey apartment, and after unpacking all my presents and belongings, we had lunch at local inn which sold native “Indian curry”. It customized to the Japanese taste but it was still rather delicious. After that, I set out on my little adventure to explore Tokyo. I walked to the next main subway station with the JR Sen (Line ) available, which would bring me straight to popular destinations like Shibuya, Shinjuku and Harajuku. On route, I walked past this familiar and interesting sign board which is one and only in the world – a traffic accident report of the past day, letting commuters know how many people met with accidents and how many died. Thankfully, there were no fatalities on the board in this photograph.
I alighted at 新宿 Shinjuku and got lost at the station. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling because there were no information booths that I could obtain a tourist map and I couldn’t ask around because I was surprised most of them didn’t speak English (or maybe they were not confident enough to reply). It was also a huge station and there were North South East West and then New South Exits. If you exited through the wrong one, it would take you ages even to find your way back to the place you exited from the station. I was happier later when I realized that about 5-6 million commuters use the station everyday and it made the whole ordeal less daunting and more acceptable.
I first arrived on 14th July, after a 14 hour flight from Sydney to Narita Airport. This is the longest time I had ever spent on an airplane but thankfully, during the first leg from Sydney to Singapore, I had a really nice time with a lady who was on her first overseas trip from Australia to South Africa, Europe, and then the US. It is first time I had forsaken the movies and sunk into deep conversations with her about her trip and what we were both going to do respectively. I admired her taking 4 months out to explore her dream and she acknowledged me for my impulsiveness to fly on such short notice to fulfill a great dream come true. We didn't end up exchanging numbers at the end because I believe fate brought us there for a reason and if we are meant to be friends, we will meet again. However, I wish her a best time ahead.
I had a relatively easy time past Japanese customs as compared to my previous encounter, maybe because I was slightly more experienced and I wasn't carrying 4 suspiciously big bags. As I queued up to pass customs, I started to panic about the visa situation when I looked at the TV screens that warned of deportation if you do not have a visa to enter the country. I searched through my memory and recalled that I did need to apply for a visa when I entered Japan the first time, but was quickly put to ease when I saw the list of countries exempted from having to apply for a visa a little while later and I was safe.
I wanted to fill my customs entry card in Japanese but thought it might be better I not show off. So, I settled for only a Japanese comment "コンサートへ いきます (To watch a concert)" as the reason for entering Japan. I walked up to a counter with a friendly Japanese female customs officer and greeted her in Japanese. I learned that if you were friendly, they were likely to return the favour. She screened through the details and then asked whose concert I was going to. I replied "Nakamori Akina." She smiled and said "Honto" (Really), probably because she was partly surprised that Akina still held concerts, but still said "Enjoy your concert and your stay".
After walking down a flight of stairs, I picked up my luggage from the belt and started through the baggage checkpoints. Just when I was expecting a thorough search because he asked me to place my luggage on the desk, he asked "Where are you from", I replied "Australia", and he said "You're okay to go". I guess that was one of the biggest advantages of having one of the strictest customs in the world in Australia.
The first thing I did after entering Tokyo was to immerse myself in the morning air of Narita Airport. I think I kept saying "Natsukashii" (Nostalgia) even though the airport had been renovated since I was last there. There was still a sense of familiarity for me. I proceeded onto one of my favourite things about Tokyo ... their drinks vending machines. No other country in the world that I have been too, cares as much about packaging and there is such a huge variety of drinks and vending machines available, that I don't think I got to try everything in them. I was most delighted though to find that they have many recyclable bins nowadays which wasn't available when I was first there.
The past 2 times I've been to Tokyo, I had taken the limousine bus from Narita Airport to one of their destination stops, usually a hotel, and then a cab back to my aunts, but being more adventurous this time, I decided to take the trains, and was I in for a shock, when I looked at the various subway maps. After I tried looking for the station that I was meant to alight for about 5 minutes, I gave up and went to the counter to purchase a ticket. Thankfully, the lady spoke a bit of English and was helpful in letting me understand that the train was departing in about 10 minutes on platform 1.
I walked down and looked at the map inside the train for “Mita” Station. Since it was rather complicated and I couldn’t figure it out still, I decided to ask a schoolgirl if the train headed that way. It was a mistake because it was rather far away (about 1 and a half hour ride) and she wasn’t heading that far, so she said No. Just as the train was about the depart, I saw the train guard but as he confirmed, it was too late to board the train, so I had to wait for the next. I asked another elderly man this time who reaffirmed that the train does not go to Mita, and just as I was about to ignore him, he hurriedly pointed out further in Japanese that it does, and started rattling on. My Japanese is only rather elementary, so I tried to make out what he was saying. He started pointing to the subway map and it was then that I realized that I had to change at another station before I could get to the Mita station. I was so happy I nearly hugged him but I refrained, as he started talking more and more, and I could sprinkle many nods with “Hai” (Yes) and “Arigatoo” at the end, to thank him for his help.
It was a rainy day but nothing would dampen my mood. In total, it took me almost 3 hours and 3 changes of trains (including carrying my 30 kg luggage up and down the stairs a couple of times), which wasn’t fun (as opposed to 1 and a half hour via limousine bus). I finally arrived at a familiar place that I was going to stay for 7 days – Fudomae 不動前. The station has been renovated but the streets were still familiar from memory. It is a suburban town but I was surprised to see the development of the area and the increased number of people since I was there last in 1998, and later found out that it was because Motorola had opened a subsidiary there.
I walked to my aunt’s second storey apartment, and after unpacking all my presents and belongings, we had lunch at local inn which sold native “Indian curry”. It customized to the Japanese taste but it was still rather delicious. After that, I set out on my little adventure to explore Tokyo. I walked to the next main subway station with the JR Sen (Line ) available, which would bring me straight to popular destinations like Shibuya, Shinjuku and Harajuku. On route, I walked past this familiar and interesting sign board which is one and only in the world – a traffic accident report of the past day, letting commuters know how many people met with accidents and how many died. Thankfully, there were no fatalities on the board in this photograph.
I alighted at 新宿 Shinjuku and got lost at the station. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling because there were no information booths that I could obtain a tourist map and I couldn’t ask around because I was surprised most of them didn’t speak English (or maybe they were not confident enough to reply). It was also a huge station and there were North South East West and then New South Exits. If you exited through the wrong one, it would take you ages even to find your way back to the place you exited from the station. I was happier later when I realized that about 5-6 million commuters use the station everyday and it made the whole ordeal less daunting and more acceptable.
It took me about half an hour until I found my bearings and a familiar place – Alta Studio. Even when I tried to ask them where Alta Studio is, no one understood, and then I realized that I had to pronounce it in Japanese katakana before they realized what I was talking about. I think I cried in my heart when I reached there because there were so many emotions and memories. The past 2 times I had been to Tokyo, it had been the meeting place for Leslie and I, so there were many past memories that flooded back.
From that point on, I could roam around and enjoy myself. The buildings, people, neon lights, people giving tissue paper as marketing materials instead of pamphlets (wonderful because we use them instead of chuck them immediately), “Sakura-ya” (the huge electrical shop), all familiar signs of Shinjuku in my mind. I was surprised to see so many people in Shinjuku at 3 pm in the afternoon crossing the streets on a weekday but this is nothing compared to weekends. Tokyo is the biggest city in the world, so it should be no surprise but for people who do not like crowds, it would definitely a place to avoid.
The best way to describe Shinjuku is that it is the "in-place" for young adults, who have graduated from their hip and trendy teenage years spent in 原宿 Harajuku. One can call it the "New York" or for Sydneysiders the "Town Hall" for Sydney. It is a shoppers paradise although paradise is probably not the right word to use because most of the items are rather expensive. It has however one of the largest "collections" of huge departmental stores like a 12 storey Tokyu, 7 storey Tokyo Hands, 2 7 storey Kinokuniya Bookstores (old and new) etc. The station is one of the largest and busiest as well. There is a "Tokyo" station but it is the CBD and generally used more by working professionals. Outside one of their new South exits for the station, I managed to see some street perfomers equipped with their bands and they started performing their "new songs". What surprised me most was the response from the pedestrians. Most people in Sydney would just stand there and watch or even not bother, but the Japanese would start clapping their hands to the beat of the song as a sign of encouragement. I found that most interesting and it reflects on their pop culture which grooms many amateur singers and mask them off as professionals.
I walked around and stupidly decided to find out where the gay district is (新宿二丁目 Shinjuku ni-chōme ), because I wanted to compare it with the one in Sydney. I was expecting a small area but I was surprised that it was one small obscure street that took me more than 2 hours to find. After wandering around by myself and trying to look for it using maps near subway stations, I finally gave up and approached the police and the security guards before I finally found the place. I was a little disappointed when I realized how small it was (it is only about half of Sydney's Oxford St), but was surprised that one of the gay bookstores has a TV screen advertising upcoming gay releases. It was rather tame though which was why they could advertise in such broad mediums but it was still rather startling. If one reads gay guides to Tokyo, they would usually advise that some gay bars and places in Tokyo do not welcome foreigners, but it was strange because it contradicted with the politeness and the welcoming attitude prevalent in the Japanese culture. It took a Japanese friend after my trip to analyze that it is probably because Japanese hosts (people who own and entertain at the bars) like to chat with their guests as a form of entertainment, and since some of them may not have much of an education, they might not be fluent enough in the English language to ensure that their guests will have a good time, which is why they prefer to restrict their premises to local fare. This is a major revelation not discovered by any of the guides.
By 7 pm (closing time for shops are around 8 or 9 pm), I had not slept for more than 24 hours, and my feet were starting to get a little weary but my happiness pushed me on. I was fully conscious that we don’t usually get into the holiday mood till 3-4 days into it, and I wanted to immerse myself immediately into it, so I was delighted. I did a lot of walking and reminiscing, and when it was time for bed, I fell deep soon with a smile, knowing that there will be more adventures the next day.
A Place To Call Home
A home is a place we can all rest our feet, relax and be whoever we want to be. For some lucky people, their home is their birthland, where they fit in exactly with no difficulties. For the rest of us, we may travel all around the world to find a safe place we can call our home.
I remember first arriving in Australia and sensing a new change in me. A place where I can "start afresh" and build my self esteem from the ground. No dramas from history that will hold me back from being the real me. Maybe it is because I didn't choose an honest life back in Singapore and being overseas for a long period (three years at least then) allowed me the courage to explore different avenues and possiblities ... and so I did.
Now, when I go back to my birthland Singapore, with some of my older friends and the majority of my family and relatives that I am not honest about my sexuality, I feel like we just pick up from where we left it the last time we said goodbye. I don't seek out to lie, but also choose not to be totally honest, which I am entitled to. Over the past few trips, I have found myself looking for places of gay interest in Singapore, which surprisingly has increased over the years that I have not been around. There was a mixture of danger and also confusion as to why I needed to explore such places. I am not interested in the saunas but wanted to see the scene for myself, and probably justified in my mind then, that it was an adventure of island and self exploration.
Today, I had a conversation with a couple of friends, and one of them, Mark pointed out that he has found a trend where gay saunas are packed to the brim (or over) during the X'Mas season, and the reason he has for this is because we all need a sense of belonging (and they are the only gay places open then). After spending some or an amount of time with the family, we are in search of a need to reaffirm our sexuality or to be around our people, especially when we have to live "another life" when we are around them. It may sound rather ridiculous but it happens to everyone. Just imagine how happy we are sometimes when we are stranded in foreign land, and then we see something familiar that allows us to feel a sense of homeliness. It's the emotional state of belonging somewhere that is the most important to us, which is universal.
For me, making friends who know and accept me for who I am is very important in Singapore, where I have never been comfortable in the past, being who I truly am. Now, I know that when I go back, I have friends that I can sit down and let my hair down for a little while, even if it is just for that few hours, where I can feel that I am truly myself. It is not easy finding a place we can call home. Many of us have lived our lives perfecting the intepretations of non verbal communication signs from people and mastering the art of acting, so that we are not being picked on. It is a hard enough life just for us to be able to accept ourselves for who we are, and not self destruct, let alone being ostracised even further by so called societal "norms".
Australia has been very kind to me, for allowing me a chance to carve the life that I want and the connections that I have with the people around me, which have blended into an integral mix of my life. In this place I call my home, I can be myself and I am lovable, and am loved. Thank you to myself and everyone for making this possible ...
I remember first arriving in Australia and sensing a new change in me. A place where I can "start afresh" and build my self esteem from the ground. No dramas from history that will hold me back from being the real me. Maybe it is because I didn't choose an honest life back in Singapore and being overseas for a long period (three years at least then) allowed me the courage to explore different avenues and possiblities ... and so I did.
Now, when I go back to my birthland Singapore, with some of my older friends and the majority of my family and relatives that I am not honest about my sexuality, I feel like we just pick up from where we left it the last time we said goodbye. I don't seek out to lie, but also choose not to be totally honest, which I am entitled to. Over the past few trips, I have found myself looking for places of gay interest in Singapore, which surprisingly has increased over the years that I have not been around. There was a mixture of danger and also confusion as to why I needed to explore such places. I am not interested in the saunas but wanted to see the scene for myself, and probably justified in my mind then, that it was an adventure of island and self exploration.
Today, I had a conversation with a couple of friends, and one of them, Mark pointed out that he has found a trend where gay saunas are packed to the brim (or over) during the X'Mas season, and the reason he has for this is because we all need a sense of belonging (and they are the only gay places open then). After spending some or an amount of time with the family, we are in search of a need to reaffirm our sexuality or to be around our people, especially when we have to live "another life" when we are around them. It may sound rather ridiculous but it happens to everyone. Just imagine how happy we are sometimes when we are stranded in foreign land, and then we see something familiar that allows us to feel a sense of homeliness. It's the emotional state of belonging somewhere that is the most important to us, which is universal.
For me, making friends who know and accept me for who I am is very important in Singapore, where I have never been comfortable in the past, being who I truly am. Now, I know that when I go back, I have friends that I can sit down and let my hair down for a little while, even if it is just for that few hours, where I can feel that I am truly myself. It is not easy finding a place we can call home. Many of us have lived our lives perfecting the intepretations of non verbal communication signs from people and mastering the art of acting, so that we are not being picked on. It is a hard enough life just for us to be able to accept ourselves for who we are, and not self destruct, let alone being ostracised even further by so called societal "norms".
Australia has been very kind to me, for allowing me a chance to carve the life that I want and the connections that I have with the people around me, which have blended into an integral mix of my life. In this place I call my home, I can be myself and I am lovable, and am loved. Thank you to myself and everyone for making this possible ...
Friday, August 05, 2005
B is for "Burriko"
Definition of "Burriko" from Urban Dictionary
"Japanese woman of a certain age who looks and acts much younger. Given that it's often hard to identify the age of asian women anyway it can be difficult to spot a burriko."
Another site adds: "They act cute and act like they don't have much of a mind of their own" and somehow Japanese men find them attractive.
Case in point: The originator, 松田聖子 Seiko Matsuda.
Evidence: 43 years old and this is how she dresses.
I am a fan of Seiko (not a huge one) but am sometimes embarassed to admit that. However, I have to protest that I was a fan when she was in her teens and 20s, not when she is still trying so hard to be cute at 43 years old. Overall, I find it all quite disturbing.
That being said, she has a serious mind of her own and has been a true professional in manipulating her career and the press into achieving what she wants. Afterall, how many 43 year olds look like this?
There has been much discussion lately because Seiko is holding her first overseas concert and in an attempt to endear herself to the Mandarin speaking fans, she is not only busy trying to pick up the difficult language, but also releasing a Chinese album of her hits. According to the reports, she tried to sing a verse of her signature song "赤いスイートピー" in Mandarin, and everyone in the press conference had "What the f**k is she singing" written all over their faces. It was only when the translator interpreted it, that all heaved a sigh of relief. Maybe they were afraid that she was revealing something important, like her botox or cosmetic surgery secrets and they didn't understand, or simply just that her singing is so bad that they couldn't make out if she was singing or trying to say something?
I have also just read that it is going to be a mini album. Thank God for that. Maybe one song will be sufficient. Judging from her recent album covers of "Sunshine" and "Fairy" (great album names when you turn 43), where she looked like a "sex worker" (comment from John when he saw the cover) and "flower fairy", one wonders what her Chinese album cover will look like. Danny joked if it was going to be called "Mandarin Oranges" and I added that maybe she would have Mandarin oranges hanging off her hair and an angpow in her hand, so that if it doesn't sell well, it can be remarketed as a Chinese New Year album.
To us, she is crazy because it is an impossible task that will only bring on terrible reviews, but for attention hungry Seiko, any publicity is good. I can only pray for her fans that she will not sing too many Mandarin songs during her concert because that is not why anyone would go see the concert.
One has to take their hats off to her for trying so hard, and hopefully, she will not pick up enough Mandarin to know what the Taipei Press is saying about her visit yesterday. Tien has done a great job in placing links to all the reports (unfortunately all in Mandarin), but they have used two derogatory terms to describe her: "不老妖姬" & "日本不死的魔女", which I found hilarious. They both literally translate into the "Eternal (more harshly as in Never-Dying) Witch". It is terrible for them to use such terms but people who hate her would probably agree, like our dear friend, Eugin and my other friend, Shige.
For me, I guess we all have a lesson to learn from here. One that we are never too old to try new tricks and no matter how impossible the task may seem, we have to move on in face of all negative comments. To disgregard insults and do whatever makes us happy (which is what Seiko said, that "This is one of her biggest achievements for her 25th anniversary and she wants to do whatever makes her happy"), and lastly, to "stay in love" (helps if your lover is your manager who is 10 years younger).
However, that being said, never try to be something we are not, especially when it comes to mutton dressed up as lamb.
"Japanese woman of a certain age who looks and acts much younger. Given that it's often hard to identify the age of asian women anyway it can be difficult to spot a burriko."
Another site adds: "They act cute and act like they don't have much of a mind of their own" and somehow Japanese men find them attractive.
Case in point: The originator, 松田聖子 Seiko Matsuda.
Evidence: 43 years old and this is how she dresses.
I am a fan of Seiko (not a huge one) but am sometimes embarassed to admit that. However, I have to protest that I was a fan when she was in her teens and 20s, not when she is still trying so hard to be cute at 43 years old. Overall, I find it all quite disturbing.
That being said, she has a serious mind of her own and has been a true professional in manipulating her career and the press into achieving what she wants. Afterall, how many 43 year olds look like this?
There has been much discussion lately because Seiko is holding her first overseas concert and in an attempt to endear herself to the Mandarin speaking fans, she is not only busy trying to pick up the difficult language, but also releasing a Chinese album of her hits. According to the reports, she tried to sing a verse of her signature song "赤いスイートピー" in Mandarin, and everyone in the press conference had "What the f**k is she singing" written all over their faces. It was only when the translator interpreted it, that all heaved a sigh of relief. Maybe they were afraid that she was revealing something important, like her botox or cosmetic surgery secrets and they didn't understand, or simply just that her singing is so bad that they couldn't make out if she was singing or trying to say something?
I have also just read that it is going to be a mini album. Thank God for that. Maybe one song will be sufficient. Judging from her recent album covers of "Sunshine" and "Fairy" (great album names when you turn 43), where she looked like a "sex worker" (comment from John when he saw the cover) and "flower fairy", one wonders what her Chinese album cover will look like. Danny joked if it was going to be called "Mandarin Oranges" and I added that maybe she would have Mandarin oranges hanging off her hair and an angpow in her hand, so that if it doesn't sell well, it can be remarketed as a Chinese New Year album.
To us, she is crazy because it is an impossible task that will only bring on terrible reviews, but for attention hungry Seiko, any publicity is good. I can only pray for her fans that she will not sing too many Mandarin songs during her concert because that is not why anyone would go see the concert.
One has to take their hats off to her for trying so hard, and hopefully, she will not pick up enough Mandarin to know what the Taipei Press is saying about her visit yesterday. Tien has done a great job in placing links to all the reports (unfortunately all in Mandarin), but they have used two derogatory terms to describe her: "不老妖姬" & "日本不死的魔女", which I found hilarious. They both literally translate into the "Eternal (more harshly as in Never-Dying) Witch". It is terrible for them to use such terms but people who hate her would probably agree, like our dear friend, Eugin and my other friend, Shige.
For me, I guess we all have a lesson to learn from here. One that we are never too old to try new tricks and no matter how impossible the task may seem, we have to move on in face of all negative comments. To disgregard insults and do whatever makes us happy (which is what Seiko said, that "This is one of her biggest achievements for her 25th anniversary and she wants to do whatever makes her happy"), and lastly, to "stay in love" (helps if your lover is your manager who is 10 years younger).
However, that being said, never try to be something we are not, especially when it comes to mutton dressed up as lamb.
My Happiness
Isn't it strange that when people learn that their friends or loved ones are gay that the first thing they offer is to "help you" get over this phase? They seem to link it with an illness or a psychological virus that they think that they can help cure us. When will they understand that we do not want your sympathy or your help, we want your understanding, respect and the freedom to be.
I have a friend who has been religious in the past, and still believes in God, but is trying to find peace within himself and his God. He wonders if all these protests that gay activists advocate is a sign that we do not accept ourselves. It can certainly be viewed as that, but on the other hand, I think it is more an education process not only for for the common folk to recognise that we are humans too, and thus also deserve respect, but also for those closeted gays to accept themselves, and be comfortable with who they are.
I have recently been confronted by a close relative about my sexuality and I decided to be honest about it, but the "interrogation" I was subjected to later, shook me quite badly. They were inquiries of ignorance, and deeply personal, some of which extended beyond what we do behind closed doors. I felt terribly uncomfortable answering them, but at the same time, I unconsciously took on the role of an educator, trying to make them understand, and that this is not what I chose to be, but who I am.
The most ridiculous parts of the conversation arrived at the "boy-girl" roles that we take on in a homosexual relationship and if I cross dressed just because I am gay. I was gob-smacked because I wasn't prepared for the latter question. I wondered then if I should laugh or cry. If there is something I learnt as I grew, it is that just because a person is effeminate does not mean that he is gay and vice versa. People tend to pick on effeminate people and call them gay related names, and thus there is a certain prejudice, even in the homosexual community, to distance away from such traits as much as possible. I have been called many such names when I was growing up, so I knew how it felt, and thus my stronger stance on projecting masculinity in public.
The other misconception that gay = AIDS is a common "myth" ignorant people hold. They are oblivious to the fact that more heterosexuals contract the deadly disease now than homosexuals. It is an illness that used to be "gay" but look at the Africans and the increasing heterosexual population suffering from AIDS. It is the information gatekeepers and people of high positions in society who "decide" who we are and what is acceptable (e.g. condoms). I am happy that they show such concern for me, but do they really know who I am or do they just assume the worst? Do they think that I roam the streets and loiter around the public toilets looking for promiscuous sex?
The recent incident in Tasmania where a gay person was rejected from donating blood to the Red Cross further highlights this "proposition". The Red Cross has a ruling that "anyone who has sex with a man within the past year is not allowed to donate blood", and it is a very good sign that we are not respected as human beings and that we are flawed. There was a comment in the papers that protested about how it is possible that a promiscuous heterosexual man is preferred over a homosexual man in a monogamous relationship when it comes to blood donation. Where is the logic here?
In their search for "my happiness", people try their best to stress on what is good for me, like choice. It is okay for me to stay a bachelor all my life but please reconsider about being gay. It's not an illness and we are not saying it is sick, but maybe you can see someone to help you cure this. You can choose to pick from both plates and get the best of both worlds, and isn't that better? Don't decide that you are gay now, Okay? Think over it ...
This encounter has shaken me and as funny as some of the comments may sound, is a process that many gay men have to go through in the process of coming out. There is no easy path and I wish there was for me because it is easier to just deny, but I took the difficult but honest path. At the end, I had to choose kindness (my two choices) because I know it also takes time, and this is all they can accept for now.
I thought it would bring me closer to them after I told the truth, but I seem a little more frightened that more "disasters" are to come, and I just want the distance. I am angry because of the misinterpretations but I have to be patient. It is my happiness that I am seeking and am responsible, and it is ironically, what they want for me as well. In their blind faith, they have mistaken my happiness for theirs, and have insisted that I conform to their ideals. Writing and discussing about it is my only asylum, so I am building strength through this further process of self discovery. If they want what is best for me, then they might want to start learning more about what it feels like for us, and to respect my life and my choice to live an honest life, and accept me just for who I am.
Tuesday, August 02, 2005
A New Miracle
I see friendships as uncelebrated miracles in the universe. Not every stranger and passer-by becomes a friend and so as we walk down the path of life, we make more acquaintances but develop less deeper friendships.
The internet has been extremely kind in allowing me to continue my passion for friendships with people I have never met before and only spoken to, and keeping in contact with them. I am so thankful that my entries on my blog has brought up discussion points and one of the most active contributors is a new friend, Jack whom I would like to introduce to all. Jack, I hope you don't mind me sharing your blog with my other friends. If you do, please let me know and I will remove it.
Jack writes and shares information about Japanese 80s pop (a passion shared by a few of us) which I just realised from my one of my best friends, Felix, that the 80s female pop singers like Akina, Seiko, Hayami Yu, Chiemi Hori, Kawai Naoko (Jack's favourite), Kashiwabara Yoshie, Oginome Yoko etc, are gay icons for gays and lesbians in their 30s and 40s. Hooray! We fall into that category! Jack also shares music files on his blog, so pay him a visit. He also translates some of his favourite songs and they are beautiful. Tien has quite an extensive collection herself as well. So, please visit her website too.
http://mysongsforyou.blogspot.com/
Thank you for all your comments because it has been a wonderful inspiration for me to carry on sharing ...
The internet has been extremely kind in allowing me to continue my passion for friendships with people I have never met before and only spoken to, and keeping in contact with them. I am so thankful that my entries on my blog has brought up discussion points and one of the most active contributors is a new friend, Jack whom I would like to introduce to all. Jack, I hope you don't mind me sharing your blog with my other friends. If you do, please let me know and I will remove it.
Jack writes and shares information about Japanese 80s pop (a passion shared by a few of us) which I just realised from my one of my best friends, Felix, that the 80s female pop singers like Akina, Seiko, Hayami Yu, Chiemi Hori, Kawai Naoko (Jack's favourite), Kashiwabara Yoshie, Oginome Yoko etc, are gay icons for gays and lesbians in their 30s and 40s. Hooray! We fall into that category! Jack also shares music files on his blog, so pay him a visit. He also translates some of his favourite songs and they are beautiful. Tien has quite an extensive collection herself as well. So, please visit her website too.
http://mysongsforyou.blogspot.com/
Thank you for all your comments because it has been a wonderful inspiration for me to carry on sharing ...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)