Two of my very close friends in Singapore, 乱火さん and 不思議少年さん opened their new online store selling T-shirts from Japan, and I wish to show my support towards their new venture with a belated promotion here. 頑張って下さいね！I think this is a great way for anyone to source these unique T-shirts from overseas at a reasonable price, so please feel free to browse and purchase on their site. They are really friendly and responsible guys, so you do not have to be afraid of being cheated on the internet.The best thing is that you will never be caught dead walking into your classroom, office or a gathering wearing the same thing as someone else. Just click on the link and shop away! 
The days when we anticipated the release of the next issue of magazines where we could browse through what happened last week in the entertainment world? Maybe not you, but I remember the good o'l days when my best friend Leslie and I would rush to Kinokuniya on Thursday afternoons after school because that was the day the Japanese magazines would be out. The anticipation ...The days when we went to the CD shop to check out new releases and debate on what we should spend our pennies on? We didn't have the internet, so we relied on newspapers and magazines to tell us what releases are due and how we can only place orders via the vendor and pray that it would eventually arrive. The lingering ...The days when we listened to an album on our cassette or CD player more than once. This seems impossible in today's world where everything is just so transient. I love my iPod and its ability to carry my entire music catalogue (all 70 GB of music - yes I'm obsessive), but I realised recently that I rarely listen to a full album in its entire glory more than once now. I chanced upon some old albums that I loved when I was younger and remembered how many times I listened to it over and over again. How did I do it then? Didn't I get sick of the repetition? Maybe it was having the time to savour till the next best thing came along, but I recall the many times I easily dismissed something and then learnt the value of it later along with repetition. The perseverance ...I guess we all move along with these times, where nothing is moving fast enough, and we are constantly rushing from point to point, rushing to be the first to post a piece of news, the first to comment, the first to review, the first to join. In this process, are we forgetting the value of slowing down, and the many discoveries we can explore with time. Are we too fast to judge?I just hope that we will never ever judge a book just by its cover, give it time to nuture, and savour the colours of goodness that may take some time to blossom. When I look back at the memorable times of my life, it is the tougher or touching moments I savour that I remember, not the fleeting moments of happiness that I can never recall.
Today marks John and my sixth anniversary since we first hooked up. It doesn't feel like yesterday because we have both grown together within the relationship as well as within ourselves.
For starters, I feel that I have matured aplenty and am a lot more outspoken than I have ever been. Through education and respect, I have learnt that one can love, not only with an open heart but with an open mind as well. Courage to speak the truth and not be afraid that I will be laughed at, or put down. To be respected for what I have to contribute.
It is not easy because though communication is the ultimate key to success in any relationship, there is always a fear that our partners will abandon us as a result of this honesty as well. Hence, it takes love, patience and understanding that at no time will we attempt to speak out of spite in order to hurt the other party. That what we have to contribute is an open window to further understanding and part of growing together within the relationship.
I cannot take all the credit for the wonderful relationship we have, because John has been a great force in me pushing my boundaries, having the breakdowns, and then the breakthroughs. It's wonderful to be able to have someone who understands my rhythm, who cares about me the same way I do about him, and is proud of our love. Thank you my darling, for our everyday routines, and for loving me just the way I am.
Happy Birthday Julian. This feels like a follow up on the "failures of my youth as a brother" series. As I mentioned in my previous post, I was probably unconsciously jealous of the closer relationship you had with Jen. I remember vaguely trying to shower my love on you as a baby because you were unanimously known as the cutest in the family and how everyone would try to pick you up and kiss you, and how you hated every minute of it. Mum used to tease that I have the scars to show on my face, which in some ways, didn't really help in my already low self esteem, but that was in some ways, my "futile" attempts to love you.In my attempt to fit in with my friends, I may have neglected you as a brother when you joined the same school as I did. It may also be an subconscious attempt to shield you from their nasty behaviour including their ability to influence and conquer the minds of the others in my class, and to ostracise. I hated being so weak and so "untalented" in the things that mattered (like soccer) and having the riches to show off then, so I didn't want them to have an extra reason to pick on you. My shame alone was enough for me to bear, a misfit in this world then finding solid ground to stand on. I also felt that you probably enjoyed being yourself, not as my brother, so my "ignorance" might have been a preferred solution.I remember our younger days with fun, laughter and tears. Fun with us playing all the time, and sometimes working too, helping Mum with cutting off the loose thread off the sewing that she had to take on to help with the family finances, and I remember that you were always the best at that. The days when you would learn a new slang at school and come back and tease me about it. Remember the "fat chicken" comment that you picked up, and how we used it on each other, until Mum stormed in, told me the correct meaning of the word, and how we nodded in silence that we were never going to use it again, only to signal it in silence when she left. How we used to be caned for being naughty, and how you would always find her hiding places and throw all the canes, and look in glee while she frantically searches for one. The sweeping of the cane under the toilet doors while we cling onto each other in fear. It's all pretty funny now, but not then. ;-)The day you decided that you were going to be a Methodist was also the day that I felt my young brother had grown up and I have lost that mischievous boy that I lovingly call my brother. I had to look at you differently because you dared to stand up to Mum and declare your difference and indifference to Grandma's wishes. Bless her that she never knew or Dad will never get over her nagging. I love you for daring to be different and I can only hope that this decision gave you the freedom to be who you want to be because I will always love you for who you are, no matter what you choose to be.You took on a more stoic stance and lost all that mischief that used to define you, in my mind. Our friends find it impossible to believe that you were the playful one that we were growing up because I felt that you seemed to take on the role of the elder brother with this new found religion. Still, I thank God and my lucky stars and you came over to Australia to study after me, because it was my first opportunity to fulfill my wishes as a big brother to you. I enjoyed those intimate conversations and times we had, and as little as they were, I thank you for accepting me for who I am. I wish we had more opportunities to grow our relationship, and I know I am partly to blame for the current "stagnant" stage, so I am trying to make a change.I also want to thank you for your sacrifice in going back to Singapore and I want you to know that you will not be left alone with the duty of looking after our folks. I will definitely do my part. I also hope you will be able to rediscover your true loves and work in the field that you truly desire to be in, where your passions lie, because you are so talented in art. If you can free yourself of the responsibilities you tie yourself down with, and dare to dream a little, you may be able to take that on as a course to start off, and then eventually your career. It's not that I am not confident that you will excel in your current work, but that I hopefully know you well enough to know what you'd rather be doing. I may have spoken too much, but I believe I can only take these baby steps to get to know you better. To get a key to your heart and allow you to feel safe enough to confide in me someday. For now, I will just be thankful that you will allow me to do this slowly, without slamming the door in my face.You are a wonderful brother. You may not express your love as openly as I do, but you probably feel just as much love, if not more, and I want everyone here to know that you have your own way of doing so, and I respect that. I admire your integrity and loyalty to the family and your friends, and your dedication to make all our lives better, even if it means sacrificing some aspects of your own. This is one of your greatest virtues, and I am honoured to have you and Jen as my siblings. To be able to grow up in such an environment of love, I am both very lucky and also very unlucky, to be unable to make quick bucks writing about my "poor" childhood, like some famous authors have. Thank you for everything you have brought to my life and I can't wait to see how our story spans. For your birthday, I am wishing you love, happiness and luck in everything you set out to do and be. Spread your wings my little brother and embrace love. Be less afraid of falling because Jen and I will always be there to catch.
