Since I don't have many married friends or friends about to have babies, when we realised that one of our closest friends, whom we regard as family were having twins, we were all elated. Not only for them, because they have been trying for so many years, but also at the extension of our "family unit".
When my friend Joe suggested that we should have a baby shower for Himi and Jed, we jumped at the idea, because it was something that men do not get invited to. Baby showers are primarily for women and since we are going to break some rules, we decided that we were only going to invite members of the "family", and make it a gay (as in happy too) event for not only the mother to be, but the parents-to-be.
We made some arrangements to have it held at their place and it was half a surprise because they knew it was a party but no further details were leaked about our plans for the day. We bought gifts (both joke and practical) presents for the parents to be, and everyone was meant to bring a dish or two and some games to play for the day, and what a sumptuous mix of traditional Eastern and Western food we ended up with that afternoon! There were the traditional Japanese rice cakes, red bean rice (to bring good luck to the parents to be), tonjiru (pork vegetable miso soup), soy chicken, sandwiches, dim sims, lasagna, edamame etc. Shige started the afternoon with a special toast of homemade cocktail to Himi and Jed, and Himi's mother, Kumiko-san, who had flown from Japan to be with her daughter. There were some initial reservations about how she would take a baby shower party of just 3 women (including herself), 9 queens and 1 men, but she handled it wonderfully. For someone who doesn't speak English at home, she certainly had lots of charm and even chided some of them when they spoke in Japanese. She was very welcoming and joyfully participated in all the games that we played later.
After lunch, we gave the parents-to-be with the presents that we had bought for them all. Himi received a hamper which included a baby transmitter and some baby care products while Jed was pampered with a grand selection of small gifts, including a baby massage book (which he loved) and a chin cushion for him when he falls asleep while feeding the babies. I made one of my special cards where I would cut our faces and paste them on the bodies of models or singers from catalogues. Since this was a baby shower, I presented us all as little children. Kosaku, our very innovative and artistic friend, made a special card where he used Photoshop to combine both Himi and Jed's faces to create what the babies would look like when they aren born and at 40 years old. It was a hoot and the photos were hmm ... interesting ...
After the presentation, we started the games, first of which was an ongoing game where each person was given 3 paper clips. If they mentioned these words "Himi, mother or baby" and laid their elbows or hands on the table, they would be penalised and a paper clip would be taken away from them. The person who has the most paper clips at the end of the day wins the game. It is so fun to watch everyone trying their best to substitute the 3 forbidden words when they are speaking and also tricking others into saying it. The best bit for me was watching the animated faces and childlike "anger" when we all made the mistakes and lost the paper clips. It certainly added some tension and some mild cursing, but plenty of laughter to the afternoon.
Since it was an ongoing game, we proceeded onto the next game, which was dressing up the parents-to-be. We were separated into two teams and Kumiko san was made the judge. Jed was dressed as a sumo wrestler and the inspiration for Himi's outfit (especially the sleeves) were from Judy Ongg's "Miserarete" outfit. When they were paraded in front of Kumiko-san, we all waited in bated breath not for who was the winner, but whether Kumiko san would fall into the trap of mentioning Himi's name as the winner. Very tactfully and skillfully, she referred to the winner and her daughter as "that woman" to thunderous laughter and applause from us all.We were then graced by the appearance of a surgeon (Dan in dress up) and he took out some very interesting but anatomically enchanced surgical toys, which I will refrain from explaining what they were. Since we were all rather open minded, we roared in laughter but apparently, Kumiko-san was a little more than surprised, but she handled it beautifully.
Next, we started dishing out the delicious desserts, which included a special green tea "Happy Baby Day" cake (where I tricked Kosaku and Kumiko san into saying "Baby" by getting them to recite the card on the cake. Evil! Evil), a beautiful custard pudding and a fruit salad. Before we started cutting the cake, we made the introduction to the beautiful union of these two wonderful couple and played their song "You are Everything" by Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye. Naturally, they were quite surprised that we knew but they had forgotten that they had told us once and I had remembered.
We played more games and one of the best (in my "biased" opinion) that we played was one that I grouped everyone into small teams of two, and then asked them to select an envelope with a number written on the underside. Since there were 12 of us left, I distributed 6 envelopes with the numbers 1-6 written on the back. When the "couple" turned it over, they would have to take out the card inside and design a birthday card for the babies for the year of their birthday that is written on the envelope. So, we would end up designing for their 1st to their 6th birthdays and they would be kept and only opened during that year of their birth, which is like a time capsule. Himi and Jed loved the idea and got everyone to sign on the cards to commemorate this special day.
At the end of the day, after 5 full hours, we were all exhausted but the love, fun, laughter and joy that was generated made us all realise how precious, wonderful and strong, us as a "family" unit is. Even Kumiko san had lots of fun and she said that Himi has very funny friends. It was certainly a wondrous day to remember and for many of us who will never be conventional parents, an opportunity to experience impending parenthood. These babies will be blessed with our love and for all of us, who had so much love to show over the years and on this day, we should be very proud of ourselves.
For myself, a great lover of babies, I have my two little darlings of my life (another two photos to swoon over) and now two more to share my love, and I am so thankful for this great bonding that I have with these loving and wonderful group I am very proud to call my family.
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