A few months back, I read with interest, an entry on Tien's blog about a Japanese drama that she has just watched 「世界の中心で、愛をさけぶ」. When we went to Japan together, I watched as Tien and Eugin bought the box set and wondered if there it was so good that I would have to watch it one day too. I have not watched Japanese drama series for more than a year now, believing that our lives could be consumed with the characters in the series, so the thought stayed with me.
When I came back to Australia, somehow at the back of my head, I searched for the drama series, trying to convince myself, but still I resisted when I saw it. A few weeks back, as interest accumulated, I succumbed after it was placed on further discount and hence, made more available. The story line, as Tien described is simple, and it spoke of everlasting love between the two lead characters. You would know from the beginning that it is a tragedy not only from Tien's review and the blurb at the back, but also because the drama series is adapted from a very famous book and movie, and is based on true life events in the author's life, hence making it more essential viewing for me. The time spent between the two overs were short, but their love is nothing short of a miracle ... My verdict: I loved it and it is one of the best dramas that I have watched in a long time. As I sobbed through most episodes and progressed towards the end, a part of me wanted to stop there. Just like the episode of "Friends" where Rachel decided to put the book "Little Women" into the freezer because Joey was starting to get a little sad that Beth was going to die, I didn't want to finish the series, so that in my "reality", maybe the characters will live forever, and I wouldn't need to witness the end. Denial is a very powerful force, and I know that we all practise that sometimes so that we don't have to face up to harsh realities at difficult times. I succumbed eventually, but I was happy that I did, because I stumbled upon one of the most beautiful lines ...As Aki was dying in Saku's embrace, Saku asked her where she was going to, because she told Saku once that she doesn't believe that we go to another world when we die. She replied that there is still a heaven in the skies. As she slipped into deadly unconsciousness and woke up momentarily, she said "There is no other world. There is also no heaven. Because this ... life is heaven ...". I sobbed with realisation at how we take things in life for granted. We lament about our misfortunes and what we don't have, not realising that the fact that we have a life, and we can breathe, eat, walk, run, shit, and dream ... and it is not something that everyone can do and that in itself, life is actually heaven ...This drama series also reminded me of how I dealt with my own beloved grandma's impending death in 1997. I will never forget that day when I spent some time alone with her on her sickbed, and shedding a few tears while I sang her a little lullaby as I stroked her hair. She looked at my tears and turned away. It was at that point, looking at her, that reality struck me that I might lose her, and I was losing it myself. A kind nurse told me later that I should never cry in front of patients and why should I cry when she was actually getting better in my presence. She told me she could see how much my grandma loved me, because she was actually feeling better that day. I wiped my tears and smiled. It was her love for me that I could see, there and then ... Even though she is no longer with us today, like Aki said in the movie, she lives in our hearts. In our every footstep in life that we take, the joys and the pains ... till the very end.Life is where heaven is. Loving and being loved. All the good and the bad times. Being alive is enough for us to celebrate. We would all like to experience the kind of love that Saku and Aki had, but we should be practical. They had a short time to prove their love while for some of us, we have a lifetime, no matter how long it may be. Even if we never find that one special person in our lives, look around us, the friendships, the relationships, the kinship ... this is where heaven is.
- My grandma and part of the 25 grandchildren and greatgrandchildren she had.
- I don't think many people has seen this photo because I dug it out this morning from a "get well" card that I made for my grandma, and in it was this only photo I could find then, of just the two of us together. I was proud that she loved the card because I found the courage in it to say "Thank you for your love and I love you."
Two of my dear friends, a couple, Leonard and Bruce, have set up this new joint venture "friends in the loop" about organising small group trips for people who are interested in having a "gay" weekend of fun, laughter and friendship. The idea originated from their love of "arranging activities with our friends", as they put it in their newsletter.It is not only for people who live in Sydney but also for tourists who want a smaller and personalised tour of fun times and places in Sydney. There are day trips, extreme sports, relaxing dinners and many other different leisure activities, and since the groups will be small, it will serve as a perfect avenue for making new friends, and who knows, maybe even your future partner?I have know Leonard for more than 5 years and they have been together for 3 and a half years, and they are one of the loveliest people you will meet. They are not only friendly but also fun loving and helpful. So, I believe anyone who is interested will have a great time with them. Please show your kind support and visit their website here:http://www.friendsintheloop.com/It is not my intention to promote anyone's business, but I will make the rare exception for my dearest friends. It is a great concept and wish the both of you plenty of well wishes!
Very warm Congratulations to two members of my "family", Jed and Himi, on being first time parents to twins, Jamie and Sophia Wood. It's great to be able to welcome two new lives into our world of fun, laughter, love and kinship. I have no doubt that both of you will be wonderful parents and am most confident that they will be blessed with wisdom and all the beautiful attributes both of you possess. 
We look forward to sharing them in our lives and Thank you for allowing us this opportunity to have another avenue for giving and sharing our love. I look back on the times I had a chance to play parent and it is a most gorgeous moment of self sacrifice and unconditional love, where we are not often given the opportunity to play in life. Even though there are demanding times, love will override all hardship, just like the relationships we try to build within our lives, which makes us better human beings. Enjoy the ride ...
Since I don't have many married friends or friends about to have babies, when we realised that one of our closest friends, whom we regard as family were having twins, we were all elated. Not only for them, because they have been trying for so many years, but also at the extension of our "family unit".When my friend Joe suggested that we should have a baby shower for Himi and Jed, we jumped at the idea, because it was something that men do not get invited to. Baby showers are primarily for women and since we are going to break some rules, we decided that we were only going to invite members of the "family", and make it a gay (as in happy too) event for not only the mother to be, but the parents-to-be. We made some arrangements to have it held at their place and it was half a surprise because they knew it was a party but no further details were leaked about our plans for the day. We bought gifts (both joke and practical) presents for the parents to be, and everyone was meant to bring a dish or two and some games to play for the day, and what a sumptuous mix of traditional Eastern and Western food we ended up with that afternoon! There were the traditional Japanese rice cakes, red bean rice (to bring good luck to the parents to be), tonjiru (pork vegetable miso soup), soy chicken, sandwiches, dim sims, lasagna, edamame etc. Shige started the afternoon with a special toast of homemade cocktail to Himi and Jed, and Himi's mother, Kumiko-san, who had flown from Japan to be with her daughter. There were some initial reservations about how she would take a baby shower party of just 3 women (including herself), 9 queens and 1 men, but she handled it wonderfully. For someone who doesn't speak English at home, she certainly had lots of charm and even chided some of them when they spoke in Japanese. She was very welcoming and joyfully participated in all the games that we played later. 
After lunch, we gave the parents-to-be with the presents that we had bought for them all. Himi received a hamper which included a baby transmitter and some baby care products while Jed was pampered with a grand selection of small gifts, including a baby massage book (which he loved) and a chin cushion for him when he falls asleep while feeding the babies. I made one of my special cards where I would cut our faces and paste them on the bodies of models or singers from catalogues. Since this was a baby shower, I presented us all as little children. Kosaku, our very innovative and artistic friend, made a special card where he used Photoshop to combine both Himi and Jed's faces to create what the babies would look like when they aren born and at 40 years old. It was a hoot and the photos were hmm ... interesting ...
After the presentation, we started the games, first of which was an ongoing game where each person was given 3 paper clips. If they mentioned these words "Himi, mother or baby" and laid their elbows or hands on the table, they would be penalised and a paper clip would be taken away from them. The person who has the most paper clips at the end of the day wins the game. It is so fun to watch everyone trying their best to substitute the 3 forbidden words when they are speaking and also tricking others into saying it. The best bit for me was watching the animated faces and childlike "anger" when we all made the mistakes and lost the paper clips. It certainly added some tension and some mild cursing, but plenty of laughter to the afternoon. Since it was an ongoing game, we proceeded onto the next game, which was dressing up the parents-to-be. We were separated into two teams and Kumiko san was made the judge. Jed was dressed as a sumo wrestler and the inspiration for Himi's outfit (especially the sleeves) were from Judy Ongg's "Miserarete" outfit. When they were paraded in front of Kumiko-san, we all waited in bated breath not for who was the winner, but whether Kumiko san would fall into the trap of mentioning Himi's name as the winner. Very tactfully and skillfully, she referred to the winner and her daughter as "that woman" to thunderous laughter and applause from us all.We were then graced by the appearance of a surgeon (Dan in dress up) and he took out some very interesting but anatomically enchanced surgical toys, which I will refrain from explaining what they were. Since we were all rather open minded, we roared in laughter but apparently, Kumiko-san was a little more than surprised, but she handled it beautifully. 
Next, we started dishing out the delicious desserts, which included a special green tea "Happy Baby Day" cake (where I tricked Kosaku and Kumiko san into saying "Baby" by getting them to recite the card on the cake. Evil! Evil), a beautiful custard pudding and a fruit salad. Before we started cutting the cake, we made the introduction to the beautiful union of these two wonderful couple and played their song "You are Everything" by Diana Ross and Marvin Gaye. Naturally, they were quite surprised that we knew but they had forgotten that they had told us once and I had remembered. 
We played more games and one of the best (in my "biased" opinion) that we played was one that I grouped everyone into small teams of two, and then asked them to select an envelope with a number written on the underside. Since there were 12 of us left, I distributed 6 envelopes with the numbers 1-6 written on the back. When the "couple" turned it over, they would have to take out the card inside and design a birthday card for the babies for the year of their birthday that is written on the envelope. So, we would end up designing for their 1st to their 6th birthdays and they would be kept and only opened during that year of their birth, which is like a time capsule. Himi and Jed loved the idea and got everyone to sign on the cards to commemorate this special day. 
At the end of the day, after 5 full hours, we were all exhausted but the love, fun, laughter and joy that was generated made us all realise how precious, wonderful and strong, us as a "family" unit is. Even Kumiko san had lots of fun and she said that Himi has very funny friends. It was certainly a wondrous day to remember and for many of us who will never be conventional parents, an opportunity to experience impending parenthood. These babies will be blessed with our love and for all of us, who had so much love to show over the years and on this day, we should be very proud of ourselves. For myself, a great lover of babies, I have my two little darlings of my life (another two photos to swoon over) and now two more to share my love, and I am so thankful for this great bonding that I have with these loving and wonderful group I am very proud to call my family.
Can there be too many "Thank You"s? I know that I like to thank my friends for their friendship, love and support whenever I write on their birthday cards or just for accepting me for who I am, but is there a case where there are too many?
I don't want to make it sound insincere but the Thanks come from the bottom of my heart. The "argument" was made from the case that we have been friends for so long and thus we can dispense with such courtesies, but personally, I don't want it to get to a point that the generosity becomes something that is taken for granted. Even though John and I have been together for more than 3 years, we still thank each other for the little favours we do for each other. I think it is very important to show appreciation and not to take things for granted, which is why I sprinkle it in my conversations and my writings, but also that I hope that the person realise how much I treasure this little gesture.
This gesture even exists in my family and we always teach little children to say "Thank you" for every little present or favour they receive, so why should we forgo this because we are now adults? I know that a conversation can sound too distancing if we use too many Thank you(s) but I believe I wanted the other person to know that this is a great gift that they are giving me, and should be acknowledged. There are too many things, like friendship in this world which is underappreciated, which is why I take a bold cause to support showing it once in a while.
It might be walking a fine line but when we have been in a long relationship (friendship) with someone, does "Thank you" sound too condescending or is it still essential?
Isn't it normal to want to look good and hence feel good? In this time and age, I thought it was rather rare for men in developed countries not to escape the moisturiser marketing machines. After all the name inventions for heterosexual men who want to look like their gay counterparts, the submergence of the term "metrosexual" and its eventual death, leading to lesser known terms, because of the outcries of women who want their real men butch and "just the way they are", I still find it a little weird that men can get shy over revelations of their "beauty secrets".With more and more sports superstars lending themselves to skincare and beauty products, one would have thought that it is generally more acceptable for men to take care of themselves more. Based on my own personal observations, these "metrosexuals" do a better job than most homosexuals in adapting these extravagant lifestyle choices. Observation at the local gym usually reveal that an increasing number of heterosexuals (especially gym instructors) shave their legs and body (because their clients can't see the muscle definitions under all that hair mass) and spend way too much time in front of the bathroom mirrors perfecting their looks, but sometimes sadly, not their brains. Not that these behaviour should all be linked to homosexual behaviour but the last straw came when we saw two straight men having manicures in a parlour. None of my gay mates have time for facials, let alone manicures, though a straight mate of my boss' complains he needs to get manicures, pedicures and a facial because he just feels so filthy and he is a 9-5 lawyer. Figure that out.So, it came as a surprise last night, when my friend revealed that her boyfriend (who we had just met earlier that evening) bought his first moisturiser just the other day, and he is in his mid 30s. He flared up after the revelation, accusing her of sharing an intimate fact to people he barely knew. If he has calculated his audience well enough, he would have nothing to worry about because we were all gay. After we normalised the "use of moisturiser", he cooled down and reflected on his rage, puzzled. Do straight men feel emasculated just because of the use of a moisturiser or any form of care to our face or bodies, or is it so common nowadays that we are no longer shocked?
The polls for this years「NHK紅白歌合戦」has finally begun. You can click on this link here to vote for the stars and songs you would like to watch/listen at this year's programme. There are 600 songs to choose from and what you have to do is to select the 2nd button on the right, so that you can then input your email address in there. After that, an email with a link will be sent to that address for you to vote. You get to choose 3 songs from the list and one song from anywhere (i.e. not included in the list).As an Akina fan, I have to start this campaign to get Akina in this year. So, even if you don't care, please vote for Akina. She has two songs in the running:382 飾りじゃないのよ涙は 中森明菜 1984
417 ＤEＳＩＲＥ中森明菜 1986Most of us fans would like to see her perform "Desire" again this year, so even if you want to vote for someone else, please cast an outside vote for Akina!! Let's end this year with a bang! Thank you.
I don't know if this is true but it seems like the limited release Mandarin album of our "favourite" Matsuda Seiko has made its debut at No. 1 on the Taiwanese pop charts. It was just reported on Yahoo news today:聖子、台湾で1位！ 限定アルバム初登場でIt sounds like a joke - even the name of the album and the cover - "I’ll fall in love - 愛的禮物 -", but it looks like the Taiwanese have lost their minds and their hearing, but acquired a wicked sense of humour. Firstly, for those who don't know, 愛的禮物 is the name of a very old Chinese song in the 70's, which you cringe when you hear it, and to think that she used that name, and then the silly cover. Her Chinese pronunication is also poor (according to the Chinese media reports), which is why it is surprising that it would reach No. 1, making her the first Japanese singer to make this achievement.I will have to look at the Chinese newspaper websites to confirm if this is true because I read a Japanese weekly that commented that her concert in Taiwan was a huge success, which wasn't true. It was only 60% filled and the scalpers had to sell their tickets at half the price, so the Japanese do like to hype up their achievements sometimes. Nonetheless, some of us were going to get the album to laugh at how bad her Mandarin is, and considering the song selection: 「I’ll fall in love」「赤いスイートピー（火紅色的香豌豆）」「夏の扉（夏天的門外）」「瑠璃色の地球（湛藍色的地球）」, I was going to laugh hardest on "夏の扉" . Maybe that's what the Taiwanese were doing! If I was in Taiwan, I might buy it for the Japanese versions, but to think it made No.1, it has seriously impacted on my perception of the taste of the Taiwanese public. I guess if I look at their music charts sometimes, I can understand this anomaly, but this is indeed rather groundbreaking, and heartbreaking for my friends, Shige and Eugin who hate her.
I think TSWC deserves a posting of itself. It's John's nice way of saying "I'm not interested" in what you have to say, and it actually stands for "Tell Someone Who Cares".When I first heard it, I was honestly a little surprised, shocked and hurt because of the honesty in the comment. Nowadays though I laugh it off most of the times, it could still hurt at some point. I think it is about respect for the other person. If we can sit and hear politey (note: not listen) to someone else rambling about something we are not interested in, are we not supposed to offer the same courtesy or even more to a partner. Maybe, just because we are a couple allows us this honesty not to accept "crap" from each other. I'm sensitive but not that sensitive, so please don't go changing for me. I believe I will also be honest and strong enough to let you know when it hurts.I understand that it is only politically correct to pretend that we are interested in someone's conversation when we are not, but how do we deal with this issue? Do we just shutdown and smile or is it better just to use terms like "TSWC" to let the person know we are just not interested.For me, maybe just because John is my partner, it allows me the space to offload stuff that I wouldn't do to other people because I know when he shuts off and he can say "TSWC". I also know not to recommit the same mistake again and choose my audience carefully, so that they can share the same joy.For others, I look out for signs and switch topics when I realise the slighest signs of disinterest, but I know not everyone is as highly tuned. Is there a PC way of saying something to change the conversation or do we just bring up another subject at the slightest chance possible? So, will "TSWC" catch on or is it more suitable as a catchphrase between very close friends and family?
Writing for me is a luxury because when words flow, I feel connected to my soul. Publishing a blog has been wonderful because it allows me to share my thoughts and feelings, and it is not that I need it to be public, but sometimes, it makes me feel less alone. There are so many things to write about in our lives and sometimes, I wonder if we publish our subjects of interests to suit an audience or just purely for guilty pleasures. Where does the balance lie because after all, it is public, and we have an audience? The solution I guess has to be two pronged. I call my guilty pleasures "comfort food". Like my previous topics on Japanese pop idols, I know they are purely for me to chart down my memories before they fade away and there is nothing more enjoyable (at least for me) to read back on some of these and reflect on the times I spent reading and writing them. It was a journey of love and though it looks easy, took plenty of work to complete, so I need a breather once in a while. However, they are a great form of escapism from troubles bothering us in our lives because it allows us a window to indulge.So, here is my little indulgence today. John likes to tease me about my liking for Mariah and I know that many people have a problem with her screeching (as they call it) but I think she is a wonderful singer when she tones down her vocal gymnastics. But then, don't we also say "If you've got it, flaunt it" as well? So, maybe there is an hidden envy or jealousy out there that we don't have the octaves to deliver. I am also inspired by the continuing success and it is difficult to be written off and then come back with a bang. I am hoping that Akina will find that once again but it is staying as that at the moment. On the Mariah Daily website, they have just announced the newest achievement of Mariah in being the first female artiste in American Billboard history to hold the top two positions on the Hot 100 Singles Chart. Her mega hit "We Belong Together" stays on top for a non-consecutive 14 weeks, joining an elite group, and now her newest single "Shake It Off" looks set to be the next No. 1, after jumping from No. 4 to 2 this week. Her hit album "The Emancipation of Mimi" has chalked up more than 3 million sales in the US, is the 2nd best selling album of the year (behind 50 Cent's "Massacre") and has not left the Top 5 in 5 months since its debut.The longest running #1 singles on the Hot 100:16 WeeksMariah Carey & Boyz II Men - "One Sweet Day" (1996)14 WeeksWhitney Houston - "I Will Always Love You" (1992)Boyz II Men - "I'll Make Love To You" (1994)Los Del Rio - "Macarena" (1996)Elton John - "Candle In The Wind" (1997)Mariah Carey - "We Belong Together" (2005)There will be more "comfort food" because after all, a personal blog is like a diary or a journey. Even Bret Easton Ellis delves into "Whitney Housten" in the middle of the massacre in his masterpiece "American Psycho" so I guess indulgences like this are justified. In seeking the balance to answer the questions "Who reads your blog?" or "Why should we read your blog?", I look into myself and look for my comfort zone, in my mind, in my body, in my thoughts ...
