Thursday, October 20, 2005

The Tall and Short of Irony



I take the same bus to work everyday and alight at the same stop with a lady dwarf or what someone would call a pigmy. The only other person I sort of know which is also a dwarf is a brother of a classmate at primary school. Then, since we were all growing up and taller, it didn't make too much a difference but then, I still remember him attracting stares from everyone. I also remember that he had a strong presence. It could be a facade but he held it well, ready to challenge anyone who was ready to tease.

I just started noticing this lady recently, especially once when she kindly gestured me to move ahead of her during alighting in a crowded bus. She also had that strong presence, and she seemed comfortable with the stares that people were probably donating her way. There was a part of me that has always felt like reaching out to more "disadvantaged" people, like picking the quietest in the group and speaking to them, and acts like this, but I didn't do it here.

Today, as I stepped out of the train, I noticed a lady who was towering over everyone. She was easily 2.3 m tall with a huge bone structure which easily attracted everyone's attention. I felt a little guilty for staring , maybe I was trying to see if she was a drag queen to start off with, but I quickly dispelled it, and was more interested to see how she perceived all the attention she received. She had a poker face but I could see that she was probably more uncomfortable than the dwarf is. She looked like she wished that people would not see her as a "freak" (especially when I passed by some schoolgirls who exclaimed "Wow!"), and she looked smaller than she was.

A part of me wanted to go over and say "I know how you feel", but then I don't ... really. What right do we have to walk over and say things like that? They are after all, perfectly normal human beings. We all have our imperfections, natural and cultivated. Thankfully, for most of us, it is ingrained in our behaviours or preferences, and not as glaring physically, so we might not "stand out" as easily, but still, we have our differences, and why should we be judged because of these.

I wondered if it could be compared to celebrities and all that attention, both of which could be unwanted. I know how uncomfortable I would feel in their shoes and would need to build my character strong to withstand this everyday. Maybe they are the lucky ones, because they have a physical reminder to do so, while some of us idle away and whittle at every challenge presented. I know how many people dread losing one of their senses or our limbs as if that will be the downfall and the end of our lives. We tend to forget how strong these people can actually be ... even more than those who are perfectly "normal" or common, and that is a lesson to learn.

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