Kind Or Fool

I am slowly coming to terms that I may never see the iPod that I bought over Ebay. The seller has not communicated for over 2 weeks and I have made complaints to Ebay but since the seller is no longer registered, there is little hope of getting any results.

When I tell my friends about the loss, they seem to be more horified than I am. Maybe they are helping me to express the anguish that I might have hidden down below or maybe it is because I have been burnt worst before that this is peanuts.

Talking to friends is the way I release that anger. Like the first time I was cheated, I was anxious and frightened, and even lost some sleep, but life eventually still went on. I will still live in spite ...

It happened around 5 months after I arrived in Australia. I had just experienced the death of my beloved grandma 9 months ago and shared some really beautiful memories with my aunt Constance on a trip to Korea. A story that she told me on a cab ride back to the hotel is still fresh in my mind today. The morale of the story was: "Always have pity on people poorer than us."

Before she became blind at the age of 6, she used to follow my grandmother to the markets. My grandma had $7 marketing money for food every week. One day on their way there, they passed by a crippled man who was begging on the streets with his infant daughter. Ever the kind-hearted, my grandma approached them and spoke to them. My aunt didn't remember what the conversation was about, but my grandma took 5 dollars out of the 7 she had, and handed it to the man. With another 50 cents, she ushered a trishaw and paid for the journey back to the man and his daughter's home. With $1.50 left, my grandma could only afford vegetables for the week. When my grandfather questioned about the lack of meat on the table, all she offered was the high price of meat and they couldn't afford it. She never once spoke of the good deed she did.

My aunt never forgot that lesson and neither did I. In July of 1998 with one more examination to go, I decided to go to Pitt Street Mall in the city for a breather. I was waiting for some friends outside a bookstore when I was approached by an Asian pregnant lady. She told me of her sob story, about how the banks were closed and she didn't have an ATM card. About how she needed money to buy medication for her pregnancy, and wondered if I could help. Taking pity of her plight, I innocently offered her some money which she swore she would returned. She even allowed me to copy down the details of her house from the driver's license card she carried.

She said she would return it 2 days later and she took my mobile number. I didn't hear back till almost a week later. She called to say she was stranded in Melbourne and needed more money. Flustered, I wired it through and the stories kept coming till the amount reached a wholesome amount of around $5000. When I couldn't take it anymore, I told my cousin who I was not very close to. She was very sympathetic and swore not to tell my aunt whom I was staying with. She handled the next call for more cash and threatened to call the police if she dare ask for more money and if she didn't return it. We never heard from her again.

Frustrated because the money was for my university fees that I had saved through hard work, I decided to pay her a visit at her home. I called up a close friend who went down to Warwick Farm (which was about an hour's train ride) and when we approached the block and started looking "suspicously" around, we were greeted by a friendly old man who was sitting and staring all these time. He said "Are you looking for xxx?" We said "Yes" and his answer was "How much did you give her this time?"

She was a professional and I was not the first. Apparently, she had moved out more than 2 years ago and people constantly come and look for her. He also said that she was "eternally pregnant", which meant that it was a pillow disguise. I felt stupid, disgraced and naive for some time after that incident. Thankfully, my best friend told me that there was no way I knew and that she was a professional, which meant that she must have been really good. He told me that there was no use crying over spilt milk.

I recovered and though I don't carry this story around, it was the first I shared with my brother when he arrived. I wanted to let him know my lesson so that he will not make the same mistake. I don't hate her just like I don't hate this guy who has cheated me of my iPod, I pity them. I pity them because of this dishonest life that they have chosen to live. I believe in Karma and they will get their just desserts.

I told my colleagues today when one of them complained about a $100 ticket that she never recovered. They said that I had a "big heart". I don't know if they were being nice because if it was told to a total stranger, they would probably have said I was a fool.

Anyway, my heart was closed for a little while until I went back to Singapore and saw how generous my family was with beggars and I opened myself up again, though I am a lot more cautious now. I am angry at these people who have robbed all opportunities for the real needy but I have also learnt that there are other ways to help. Ultimately, I still thank my grandma for teaching me of life's loveliest presents ... love and compassion. Thank you.