Light and Shade

Sepia
Originally uploaded by Jamezle.

At the suggestion of Sydney Gaze, a group of us went to a photographic exhibition of Singaporean photographer, Marcus Mok, specialising in artistic male nudes.

When we arrived there, Marcus was very friendly and open with introductions, and walked us through some of the beautiful photos that were exhibited. After asking most of us where we were from, we discussed the possibility of introducing some of our Japanese friends who could be interested in posing for Marcus. Then, he turned around, and asked if I was interested, since I looked like I had a good body.

I was very flattered but due to my inner shyness, rejected him but told him that I would think about it. John encouraged me to do it (again as you can see), but I had my reservations because ultimately, I have a big problem with full nudity.

I grew up plump and never had a very good self image. I hated those boy breasts that are now the envy of some others, but who knew the pain I had to suffer when I was younger. It helps to explain why I visit the gym often but I know that I am not alone in the poor self image department. It is all about the past, and this is now.

I took a series of B&W artistic nudes for my 30th birthday, as a reminder that one is never too old to conquer their fear and also strive for their best. The results were astonishing and this is one of the most artistic ones that I have chosen to share today (with reframing from the photographer).

Craig O'Reilly, the wonderful photographer, who was the partner of a friend, really helped me to relax, so that I was able to get over my inhibitions, and I was able to look back today with glee. We have talked about more projects but they have yet to come to fruition.

So, I wonder within myself, if taking this new project on, is one of vanity or dare? Leslie Kee, one of my best friends, started off this passion, and for the first time, I was not cringing when I looked at my photos. I am thankful to him for giving me something else to believe when I see the pudgy old self in the mirror and the self criticism lands ...

I guess it's part of us will take a long time to shake off ... the part which the book "The Power of Now" says "is controlled by the mind", which is a reflection of the past, and not symbolic of the present.

There is nothing to lose, but I have to realise that I have power in every decision I make ... Like Leslie implies, he wants to bring Asian into the defintion of beauty, I hope that somehow, it can be a step towards my contribution to that proud clause.