Yesterday I was still looking at an invitation sent by him last year and now he is no longer with us ...
Jack Lavery, my dear dear friend, someone who I respected and was one of my closest friends in Sydney, died this morning. It came as an entire shock because we haven't been in close contact for the past few years but always held him close in my heart. I remember bumping into him at Chinatown, where I sat down with him and his partner, Charles, and Charles' mother for lunch. We had (always have) a great time and we talked about how we should catch up after that. We never did ... though I did mean to after coming across the card last night. Maybe that was a sign that I should have picked up on ...
I met Jack at my first independent home that I moved into after leaving my aunt's in Sydney. I was living in Redfern on top of a shop and after university one day, walked in and Laurie, the owner introduced us. Jack was an English teacher who was always happy to share. He lived a full and exciting life and I always looked forward to seeing him because I always learn so much from him. He taught me many life experiences and was always keen to inspire me to be a better person. He taught me to be comfortable in my own skin and always inspired me to write because of my love for it.
Since he was so well read, I always felt that his encouragement was priceless since I never had any idea if I could really write well. I remember his generosity when I moved out of the shop house into my first apartment and how he gave us a really nice carpet and many pieces of crockery and cutlery that they no longer needed. He always invited us to the most delicious meals and even organised my first Halloween party, which I (and everyone who attended) never forgot. He always swore by his French cookbook and taught me to make the most delicious Crème Brûlée I have ever tasted. I remember going to their apartment and he taught me how to make my first dessert. Instead of burning sugar as the topping, we did a chocolate mousse topping which really complemented and differentiated my Crème Brûlée. I still constantly laugh at his remark when there was an instruction in the cookbook to beat the eggs hard, and when I did it, he said "Now, you're hitting it like a gay man. Harder!" I swore after that I would never make it again but I just might have to do it now just for remembrance.
Jack, oh Jack, how I will miss you and your brave cheerful being. Always telling me not to listen to what others have to say if it is negative and believe in myself. How I wish I could have had one last good long conversation with you. I know you wanted us to remember you the way you were, but this is rather cruel to us, as your friends, to be able to say Goodbye. I don't like farewells so I understand and I will never forget all your stories and pearls of wisdom. I hope you are peaceful and free of pain now. I love you Jack and you will always have a special place in my heart ...
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