Disappointment

I was very surprised when I saw Leslie's name on the Singaporean local Chinese newspaper. Anticipating with relish, I clicked onto the link only to be dismayed by the slander that has been piled upon him.

http://stars.zaobao.com/pages4/guofucheng061129.html

http://www.udn.com/2006/11/28/NEWS/ENTERTAINMENT/ENT8/3623522.shtml

Leslie has spent 3 years working on this Superstars project to showcase the best of Asia to the world. With a vision to break the primitive mould of Asian beauty, Leslie has presented the world with some of the most beautiful photographs of these Asian celebrities. I was amazed to see some rather daring poses of these actors but they were so tastefully done, I would have been extremely proud of them.

However, two actors have come out recently saying that they had no idea that those photos will be used, even though the major photo is question of Aaron Kwok was digitally remastered. Aaron is apparently furious and so is Andy Hui, who is a close friend of Leslie's too. Aaron Kwok claimed that he wore black underwear for the photoshoot and the original is also enclosed in the book. However, the one used in the exhibition was the remastered, and caused quite a furore.

Knowing Leslie, he would never do such a thing especially since he is now a famous photographer, so I quickly sent him an email to show my love and support. I was greeted back by a newspaper article from him clearing his name. Apparently, Aaron's manager suggested remastering the original photo so that Aaron didn't have to disrobe for the photographic suggestion that Leslie made. However, she is denying vehemently now, saying that it does not match with Aaron's image.

http://stars.zaobao.com/pages4/guofucheng061130.html

What does not fit with one's image? It's not like they are portrayed as virgins anymore. It would be sick if they still are because he is a man in his 40s. If it was badly doctored or taken, then I can understand why someone can be upset (case in point: Paparrazzi showing Britney with her legs apart with no undies, hence exposing her privates), but if this is really a piece of art, why can't they be a little more gracious? Maybe someone can have a look at the photo and tell me if this is racy?



How can we break out of our mould if we don't live outside the box? Leslie has taken his one year experience in NY and is trying to achieve something refreshing in our Asian market, only to be met with negative publicity from prudes, who scream at the sight of pubes. How will free expression and breakthroughs happen if we keep building fences for ourselves?

Even though I am not a celebrity, I had once shed all inhibitions and taken some art nude photos as a 30th birthday present for myself. Since I will not remain young forever, I wanted some good photographic proof my youth. I have not regretted a minute because I was careful about the photographer and I was certain that he was not going to exploit the opportunity. If we are all clear about how the photos are going to be used (or not), then we can all work in a safe environment. Trust the photographer and he will bring the beauty out of you ...

Since this is also a charity project, where proceeds will go to the victims of the Asian tsunami, I am disappointed that Leslie's hard work and generosity had garnered such negative publicity. Still, coming from a marketing perspective, no publicity is bad publicity, so let's hope that this will have the double effect of widening our perspectives and also selling more copies. Extra note: This edition of "Superstars" has a limited run of 7000 copies or so.

Leslie has opened exhibitions in Tokyo and HK, and still has Singapore and another Asian country (I can't remember which one) to tour. You can purchase it when he is there or from any major Japanese bookstore in your country. If you want to purchase a copy online with Leslie's signature, please visit my good friend, Ryan's blog to order your copy online - Buy Superstars At KatoonBaby

Leslie, no matter what anyone says, I believe in you and you will always have my love and support!! Carry on your inspirational work!

Kind Or Fool

I am slowly coming to terms that I may never see the iPod that I bought over Ebay. The seller has not communicated for over 2 weeks and I have made complaints to Ebay but since the seller is no longer registered, there is little hope of getting any results.

When I tell my friends about the loss, they seem to be more horified than I am. Maybe they are helping me to express the anguish that I might have hidden down below or maybe it is because I have been burnt worst before that this is peanuts.

Talking to friends is the way I release that anger. Like the first time I was cheated, I was anxious and frightened, and even lost some sleep, but life eventually still went on. I will still live in spite ...

It happened around 5 months after I arrived in Australia. I had just experienced the death of my beloved grandma 9 months ago and shared some really beautiful memories with my aunt Constance on a trip to Korea. A story that she told me on a cab ride back to the hotel is still fresh in my mind today. The morale of the story was: "Always have pity on people poorer than us."

Before she became blind at the age of 6, she used to follow my grandmother to the markets. My grandma had $7 marketing money for food every week. One day on their way there, they passed by a crippled man who was begging on the streets with his infant daughter. Ever the kind-hearted, my grandma approached them and spoke to them. My aunt didn't remember what the conversation was about, but my grandma took 5 dollars out of the 7 she had, and handed it to the man. With another 50 cents, she ushered a trishaw and paid for the journey back to the man and his daughter's home. With $1.50 left, my grandma could only afford vegetables for the week. When my grandfather questioned about the lack of meat on the table, all she offered was the high price of meat and they couldn't afford it. She never once spoke of the good deed she did.

My aunt never forgot that lesson and neither did I. In July of 1998 with one more examination to go, I decided to go to Pitt Street Mall in the city for a breather. I was waiting for some friends outside a bookstore when I was approached by an Asian pregnant lady. She told me of her sob story, about how the banks were closed and she didn't have an ATM card. About how she needed money to buy medication for her pregnancy, and wondered if I could help. Taking pity of her plight, I innocently offered her some money which she swore she would returned. She even allowed me to copy down the details of her house from the driver's license card she carried.

She said she would return it 2 days later and she took my mobile number. I didn't hear back till almost a week later. She called to say she was stranded in Melbourne and needed more money. Flustered, I wired it through and the stories kept coming till the amount reached a wholesome amount of around $5000. When I couldn't take it anymore, I told my cousin who I was not very close to. She was very sympathetic and swore not to tell my aunt whom I was staying with. She handled the next call for more cash and threatened to call the police if she dare ask for more money and if she didn't return it. We never heard from her again.

Frustrated because the money was for my university fees that I had saved through hard work, I decided to pay her a visit at her home. I called up a close friend who went down to Warwick Farm (which was about an hour's train ride) and when we approached the block and started looking "suspicously" around, we were greeted by a friendly old man who was sitting and staring all these time. He said "Are you looking for xxx?" We said "Yes" and his answer was "How much did you give her this time?"

She was a professional and I was not the first. Apparently, she had moved out more than 2 years ago and people constantly come and look for her. He also said that she was "eternally pregnant", which meant that it was a pillow disguise. I felt stupid, disgraced and naive for some time after that incident. Thankfully, my best friend told me that there was no way I knew and that she was a professional, which meant that she must have been really good. He told me that there was no use crying over spilt milk.

I recovered and though I don't carry this story around, it was the first I shared with my brother when he arrived. I wanted to let him know my lesson so that he will not make the same mistake. I don't hate her just like I don't hate this guy who has cheated me of my iPod, I pity them. I pity them because of this dishonest life that they have chosen to live. I believe in Karma and they will get their just desserts.

I told my colleagues today when one of them complained about a $100 ticket that she never recovered. They said that I had a "big heart". I don't know if they were being nice because if it was told to a total stranger, they would probably have said I was a fool.

Anyway, my heart was closed for a little while until I went back to Singapore and saw how generous my family was with beggars and I opened myself up again, though I am a lot more cautious now. I am angry at these people who have robbed all opportunities for the real needy but I have also learnt that there are other ways to help. Ultimately, I still thank my grandma for teaching me of life's loveliest presents ... love and compassion. Thank you.

Leslie Kee's Superstars Launched!!

One of my best friends, Leslie Kee has launched his special edition of "Superstars", a charity production dedicated to the unfortunate Asian tsunami victims. As reported earlier, it is a special issue featuring only Asian superstars, and you can see the list of participants on the official website.

The opening party was held on 10th Nov, and according to my other beautiful friend, Ryan's blog, it was an immense success with about 450 people in attendance, including the cover girl 松任谷由実 and some other celebrities and creators.

Please visit Ryan's interesting blog to see more photos of the event and the magician behind the works, my dear friend and the master himself, Leslie Kee. Congratulations, my dearest friend. Looking at your success, I am very proud and am sad that I can't be there. If any of you get a chance to pick a copy up, please do not hesitate because you will not only be treated to high quality photographs at resonable prices but you will also be doing a kind deed!!! It will be a tribute to Leslie's generosity and love as a human being.

Official Superstars Website: http://www.super-stars.net/index2.html

Love Support

How do you comfort someone who is facing the possibility of death? How do you not sound patronising when you try to say "everything is going to be alright" when deep down you know that there is no guarantee? How can you help someone stay positive when chaos and the shock of a "sudden end" is ruling their minds?

I consider myself to be rather good at giving advice or showing support but I am rather dumbfounded when I am faced with the problems above. There is a very fine line between showing support and sounding condescending, so how we do make sure that we don't fall into the wrong side of the track?

The only true past experience I had is with my grandmother when she was very ill in 1997. The doctors seem to indicate that there wasn't much hope and my mother told me the night before that I'd better spend some time and go visit her in the hospital. I remember nodding and then rushing to my room, sinking my head in my pillow and sobbing. I felt so helpless. I didn't want to be a doctor so that I can help cure her. I just wanted to be with her ... always.

I went to the hospital the next afternoon, trying hard to be a man and hold back my tears. When I neared her room, I saw some people outside, whom I quickly recognised as my aunt and cousins. I stood back while watching them wipe their tears away. The rush of emotion overcame me and I slipped through the nearest exit and sobbed in the stairway. Was this for real? It took me about 10 minutes to recompose myself before I could step back into the hallway towards her room.

They were leaving now and they nodded at me when I addressed each aunt that was there. They told me to take care of grandma because they had to leave now. I nodded and walked into the room. It was painful to watch my loved one connected with all sorts of tubes in her, and I just walked up next to her unconscious body and started staring.

When she stirred, I started stroking her hair and I believe she starred at me in acknowledgement. I looked at her and remember singing a lullaby hoping to soothe her into sleep. She closed her eyes and the tears started flowing. I choked them back and tried to say that everything was going to be okay but I didn't know if it was the right thing to say. A nurse soon drew the curtains and took the tube out of her mouth. Looking at my grandma, she asked if I was her grandson, which I nodded. She then asked if I would like to feed her and I said Yes.

She had fed me when I was growing up, so it was my turn to return the favour. She didn't seem to eat a lot and then somehow more tears fell and I watched as she looked away ... Puzzled, I wiped the tears away. The same nurse approached us and drew me away for a second, telling me not to cry. Not because I have to be a man but she said I was a positive force for my grandmother. She said that she has eaten more than she has in the past few days and she looks like she is getting better. This time, the tears were of joy. I didn't know that she would actually leave us in the another 6 months but I did say all the positive things to encourage her.

Now, I have a friend who's partner is very possibly facing death and we discussed about how to show support and say the right things. We both agreed it was tough and the only thing I can do as the third party is try to show support for my friend, and be someone she can come to for support. This, I learnt from the wonderful book "Grace and Grit" which said that even support people need support. However, I did face her partner once and there were many awkward silences because I didn't know what to say, so I chose not to.

What would I want someone to say when I am in that position? Do I want to discuss the possibility of my death or do I want to hear positive encouragement? I had come to believe that sometimes, a doctor's "deadly" disgnosis is not always the worst thing in life because it is like being handed a "death sentence". You know how much time you are going to approximately get. Even if we extend it and fight bravely, death is never too far away and then, we are inspired to get rid of the bullshit that sometimes dictate our lives and we live every second. On the other hand, almost all of us live like there is always going to be a next year and hence we push our dreams away to a some day.

I guess for me, ultimately, I want to know that my time on Earth has not been wasted. I want to have led a fruitful life, and for me, it doesn't lie in the emptiness of extravagance but through love, friendship and support. One of the few times I wish I was richer, is when I wish I could afford my parents a better life because of their love. Otherwise, I just want my eulogies read to me before I die and that is probably what I mostly want to hear ...

If We Hold On Together ...

We just received notice from our real estate agent that the owner of our apartment is getting married and wants to move into the apartment, so we have 65 days (effective last day: 6th January 2007) to move out.

We have been expecting this since his last visit but it is nonetheless, still a dampener since we have not found a place that we are ready to buy. We don't particularly want to rent again because that would bind us for another 6 months, so it might turn out to be a rather "moving" Christmas and New Year for us.

One thing that we are probably happy about is not having to experience another Indian Summer in our bedroom because it gets the afternoon sun and there are no windows to let the air through during the night.

We are thankful to the few friends who have offered us a place to reside in the meantime if we need to, but we don't want to exploit the friendship and will only do if we do need to. So, I guess we will need to support each other more during these trying times and believe that some good will come out of all this. Even if it is just knowing that all the efforts that we have put into loving and supporting our friends has not gone to the waste basket, that would have been a good thing ...

First Review of "The Last Destination"

Thanks to my wonderful and generous friend, I finally had the chance to watch my idol Akina Nakamori's "The Last Destination" this morning. It was a concert that I fought to watch live but since I have been saving to buy an apartment with John, had to "割爱" (literal translation: "cutting ones love"), and give up the opportunity.

I don't regret it because I finally saw it and I loved every minute. It has been some time since Akina has appeared so confident from the start and performed so well throughout the entire concert. I can finally understand why my VAMPire fans claim this as one of her best concerts ever.

Not only was the stage presentation the most elaborate I had ever seen for her, but she seemed to put every ounce of energy into it, and it makes us all so proud to be a fan. Her concerts may not have the glossy pyrotechnics and multiple dancers, but her professionalism and stage presence makes her a true legend.

For a sneak preview of her "last" song on this concert viewing (hopefully there will be extra material on the DVD if it is released), please visit our Akina fansite VAMP.

The New Chapter

So, how was the new job?

For the first time in my life (as far as I can remember), I took plenty of initiative. I don't know if it is because I have plenty to live up to or just because of my maturity that I took on this new approach, but I did it. I had some prior warning that I was going to work with someone who was rather inefficient and I needed to be "on the ball", but my kind boss also told me that I only needed to do my work and not have to take on any other responsibility. That helped to ease the pressure but my good friend Maya has been introducing me to everyone outside the department as someone capable and responsible and at the back of the mind, I am half doing the "Who is this person she is talking about?" and the "Omigod. Please don't do that." thingie.

It has been a trip down nostalgia as well, reliving the memories of my student years and walking the same paths again as staff. The food is still bad for what its worth but I am getting a lot more walking exercise (up and down campus), which has been good. On my first week there, I even had the opportunity to be a model for the new Undergraduate Prospectus, which will probably be published for students next year.

It was a rather chilly morning that we had to do it and it was strange trying to pretend to be friends with someone we only met 5 minutes ago. There were also a few "F.R.I.E.N.D.S" shots with 6 of us walking in a straight line (Yeah! Like that's what happens in real life) and pretending to be doing group work with a gap in front, so that photographer gets to photograph everyone's faces. Still, it was time off doing real work and getting paid (with an added bonus of two free movie tickets), so I guess I shouldn't complain. ;-)

The best thing was getting to know some colleagues from the same department on a more personal friendship basis and also having many laughs. We also constantly warn each other not to stick our fingers in our noses, no matter how tempting it might get because there was a prior incident which is now infamous in the handbook of this particular guy pretending to listen to a lecture and having his finger up the "no-no" region.

Last Friday, I also attended the Postgraduate Ball, which was a rather smallish event but shockingly amateurish. Altogether it was a rather boring event but since it was free, it was good to catch up with colleagues outside the work environment as well. Beats me though why anyone would pay for an event like this. Ha! Ha!

So, the first two weeks have been great but it has been a rather steep learning curve and strangely, even though the hours are shorter, I am feeling rather tired and am trying to find the motivation to share more on my blog, hence the time lag of posts. There looks to be many more Christmas and Thank You functions since it is near the end of the year, so maybe I did choose a good time to enter. It is a new change and I am looking forward to the challenges that lie ahead of me.