New Outside

One singer used the title "New Inside" to describe a transition from their old positioning towards establishing new rounds . I have been wondering if my blog is always too serious, too wordy, discouraging any comments. Hence, I have decided that I am going to be entirely superficial today. With encouragement from John, I am going to share some very recent photos (like a progression report), showing that I can be shallow and vain with these self promotional photos.

It started with my last trip back to Singapore in November when my "anorexic" friend exclaimed "You're fat" when we met, and added "When are you going to give up that one pack that you are carrying". It hurts when someone says that because I grew up plump and it was not until I left secondary school that I lost the extra weight and that my self loathing ended. So, it brought me back to the bad old days.

I know that I am not fat but when my aunt said the same thing the trip before that, it is quite difficult to ignore. We are the harshest critics of ourselves and I believe we have all been there. I read my dear friend Danny Bunny's blog and he shows the progress of his six pack and uses circles to highlight the invisible fat that he has gained after every holiday. I know that I suffer from the same "disillusion" but it is difficult not to be totally critical.

Since I am not fond of making New Year resolutions, I made a vow to include more cardio routines to my exercise regime. In addition to my lunch time workouts during the weekdays, which gives me the bulk, I incorporated more running and swimming exercises during the week.

It was difficult putting myself through that routine because it requires plenty of discipline, and though I have sufficient to bring myself to the gym, my army days took out all pleasures associated with running. I hated it, racing against others and time. This time, I psyched myself first by thinking that it is the distance that counts not the time, because contrary to most beliefs, the number of calories burnt is the same regardless of whether you run or walk the same distance.

So, I tried to enjoy it and keep my mind focused on pleasant things instead of the stress, and it worked. With swimming, I was alternating between breast stroke and freestyle every 50 m and just found it difficult not to stop after finishing one of these combined routines. I wasn't getting very far until a colleague came in and said how difficult she found doing that, compared to just swimming freestyle all the way. Now, I can do 20 laps or so without stopping for more than 5 seconds every 10 laps or so, which is quite an achievement for me. Again, I focussed on other things while I am swimming, like singing/playing songs in my mind. If you can list the discography of singers like my crazy mind does, then you may find it easier to count the number of laps completed too. Ha! Ha!

I think I looked a little haggard in the first few months due to the change in routine, but my body has slowly acclimatised to the rigors, so I have to find ways to add variation to my almost daily gym routine. I hate spending more than an hour at the gym and since my lunch time is only one hour, it suits me perfectly, to run about 100m to get my body warmed up, and then do a 45 minute routine. I generally add a lot of balancing and movement to my workout instead of just using free weights to add agility.

When I finally weighed myself for the first time after four months or had the courage to, I was surprised that I lost around 5 kgs. I also changed my diet slightly and gave up all fruit juices and sweet drinks. However, I do sneak in treats now and then because I realise that this is part of the reason for working so hard.

I have resigned to the fact that I am not going to have that six pack that we see on magazines but they can be unreal because these models starve themselves for the past three days before the shoot and they have all the time in the world to exercise, a luxury that I do not possess.

I have been playing around with the camera recently and took some photos last week, and am finally finding the courage to share a couple of them, some more revealing than others. I am sorry there are no before and after shots, but you can possibly find plenty of "before" shots on my archives. This is because I know that it is going to be difficult to maintain that exercise routine when I am away in Europe on a holiday but I am certainly going to try. If I can wake up this morning and still run when it is 6 degrees outside, then I can do it.

The goal is to see my friend's face and prove to him and everyone else that age is not a deterrent towards looking our best.