The Return

Like a beautiful yet tragic dream I once had about my beloved grandmother, in my heart I know that time is limited. In the dream which seemed all too real, she was genuine. She didn't speak much or even at all, but her presence was there. I could feel it all too real and so when it was time to bade farewell for some of my relatives, I screamed and cried "No ...", because deep in my heart, I knew that that would also signal the end.

I am counting the days I am here, the minutes, the seconds. My reliable watch that has served me so dutifully seemed to understand my intentions and on many occasions slowed time down to almost a halt. I watched the second hand move indecisively, so if to say that it empathised with me.

I am happy. Delighted that I am making full use of my time in Singapore. As I had predicted, it was ripe time for a return. I had missed them and as I live my life in a parallel universe, they had grown and moved on. But it's like we would now stop and then converge into a single path for a short time, and enjoy the happiness that it brings.

I have made no doubt my love for children, during the weekend before I arrived where I spent time with a beautiful set of twins and, now to my wonderful darlings. I have also discussed the possibility of me having children, and I am not having second thoughts, but I salute every loving and responsible parent in the world, and mostly my parents. It is a full time job and even though there is plenty of joy, it's a never-ending task. What I do believe though is that it helps cultivate and bring out the best in people, loving beyond the point of no return, selflessly.

I have allowed myself to live in their world, which is not a difficult task for people who know me, because they say I'm a dreamer, so I fit well. I am surprised by their rapid embrace, because they do not accomodate well to strangers, but neither am I a constant presence in their lives. Maybe through their innocent eyes, they can see the child in me reaching out to them as well.

I am lucky to have reacquainted with many friends, and mostly a old friend yesterday who I am honoured to share mine and his life experiences with. It was a little awkward after 10 years since our last meeting, because physically we have both changed, but I still see images of my old friend in there. Maybe that is how I will always see him and no matter what happens, my love and support for him will remain unchanged that way, because of the person he is.

The lesson that I learnt yesterday are the blinds that we use to view people. Colour lenses that stereotype. If I can remove these for my friend, then I can do it to my other prejudices as well. If I can do it, then I am sure everyone is capable of that as well. Dare I dream of such a paradise? We all have a part to play and it has to start with me.

Yesterday's encounter has also allowed me to see myself more clearly. The love and support that I am capable of giving. I will look into pouring more of that into my future career and life and see if that is indeed my true calling.

Lastly, during this trip, I am seeing more clearly the importance of relationships. Not only those with our partners in love, business or friendship, but also more importantly our family, one that we sometimes forsake more readily than others. Maybe it is the love that causes more conflicts. If there wasn't love, then maybe it would all be a sea of luxurious cream. Our time is limited, but relationships sproud, grow and die within the space of our time. If success and achievements can be measured by the love and strength of relationships, then where would I stand and would this world be a better place to be ...

在人生的道路上，人与人之间的感情是否只限于昙花一现。
如果一生的成就是以真情衡量，那今天的世界是否也会更完美。