Homely Feelings during Christmas

For the past five and a half years that we have been together, we have always celebrated Christmas at John's, and it's a little foreign that it's the first time that I have really felt a feelings of loss and yearning for my family. It could very well just be that I had only returned from a trip, which is the first time in almost ten years that I have timed it so close to Christmas, or just looking at the close times that John shared with his family that made me feel for my family, or just simple disbelief that my nephew and niece has forgotten my dedicated time with them just the past month, because they barely mention it anymore, especially him.

I still had a good time, but I also sensed that I was a little tired. Maybe I have indeed spread myself a little too thin during that visit and then everything that just rushed in at the end of the year, especially at work. Will I do it again? Funnily, I guess that is just who I am, and I wouldn't miss a single moment as I savour every memory as I pace through my photo album. It may not capture the moment as videos might, but memories help replay them like clockwork. I miss them.

36歳の誕生日 - My Little Birthday -

I have been telling everyone this year I'm 36 that when I finally turn it today, it no longer feels too much of a surprise. The lines on my face are more evident, my strength is slowly diminishing, but my spirit lies happier. Happier because I have discovered that the secret to my happiness is me and my relationships.

My relationships with every beloved member of my family, relatives, friends and my wonderful lover, all of whom grace my everyday life and fill my heart with so much happiness when I think of the lovely times we share, and the ones that we are about to experience. I have lost some along the way, but this loss only reinforces my focus in life.

I may not have much riches or position in the superficial world to boast about, but if our achievements are judged by love, then I know I am a very rich man. Therefore, for my birthday, I can only wish for happiness and good health, not only for myself, but for everyone around me that I love, so that the lines on my face will not deepen with worry, but be filled with laugh lines as we share our love and our joy. Thank you.

A final special mention to my mother who gave birth to me 36 years ago, suffering almost 20 hours of labour. Thank you for bringing me into this flawed but beautiful world, and everyone for teaching me "the art of giving".

Sayang My Baby

With these words, my mother bade me farewell. Not a fan of goodbyes, I was holding up well up to that point. My sister, usually the first to break down seemed calm and composed. So did my nephew and niece who gave me a hug and kiss. My dad made an exclamation at "How strong my son has become" and I turned to greet my Mum at the end. I pull myself into her soft body as she pressed her lips against my face and she murmured those words, which translates into "I love you my baby", with a tinge of sadness.

It has been such a fruitful and fulfilling trip. 2007 had flown by faster than any other year I remember but these two and a half weeks have been savoured to the last drop. Eating, greeting, sharing, that was my life for my past holiday. In some ways, I believe I might have spread myself a little too thin, but I really enjoyed spending all that time with my family and friends.

Some people wonder why I return to visit my family every year? Why not spend a real holiday at some tourist destination? Why dedicate so much time to take on a holiday to spend time with the family, which really doesn't translate into too much of a holiday.

For those who live near their parents and family, it may sometimes be difficult to understand how one can actually miss their own family. It is only when we are separated by distance that one can realise how important family is. I may be lucky to have a wonderful and loving family, but like many others, I didn't really learn to appreciate them until I hit my 20s, and eventually moved out from home.

The other overriding reason can be attributed to my "guilt". In traditional Chinese cultures, my decision to leave my family behind to pursue a life away, can be perceived as selfish and one of an unfilial son. Over my final dinner party with my relatives, my youngest male cousin questioned my decision to stay in Australia. I totally understood where he came from, that of love and filial piety, and I reassured him that there are rarely days that go by that I do not question my love for my family, and more so for my aging parents.

I explained to him that I heard all that he said, and I took all his points to heart, especially the bit where he said that my Mum would be very upset if I don't come back, but I told him that there are different ways to show love, appreciation and filial piety. I used to live under the same roof, and couldn't be more like strangers with my family. I detested their possessiveness and their need to know my whereabouts all the time. If I am not home by 3 am, I would receive a phone call asking where I am. This may sound all warm and fuzzy, but it isn't when you are in your late 20s.

Leaving Singapore allowed my parents to accept that I have grown up and that I am an adult. It is not easy surviving in a new country but I proved myself and everyone that I could do it. To make sure that my family understands how much I love them more for giving me this wonderful gift of unconditional love, I do everything I can to soothe my guilt of filial piety. I call my parents at least thrice a week, making sure that they are healthy and fine. I bump that up to a call everyday if anyone is unwell to let them know that I care and that I am there. I do my best to spend as much time with them as I can when I am back in Singapore. Even when I am fatigued, I will do my best to accompany them in whatever they want to do.

I don't answer back when I sometimes want to, I accept. I know that it is a "routine" that they don't get to play very often because I am not home, so I listen. I give them encouragement and feedback and we would have conversations that we would never be able to have, if I am always at home. In appreciation for their love, I turn into the perfect son, and I love it. I love their dedication and their devotion. I love the times we spend together and the most mundane things we do. I appreciate and cherish every single moment we spend together because I know that time is limited. It is because of this limitation that I believe we make better use of the moments we have.

I am not saying that I am perfect and a self sacrificing human being. I just wanted to say that I don't love my parents less because I do not live with them. In many ways, I believe I love and cherish them even more. I may be selfish because I choose to live in Australia, but I am still after all, a human being.

I am eternally thankful to my family for loving me so much that they allow me to stay in Australia even though they miss me dearly, because they know I am happy here. That is what my sister wrote in an sms to me. Will we have such a wonderful loving relationship if I was at home? Will I be the perfect son if I was home or would I be looking for ways to live the life I want? These are hypotheses that I cannot confirm. All I know is that a true home lies in the heart, mine and the hearts of loved ones. In my heart, I will always be home, at home with my loved ones.

母亲这一句别辞“我亲爱的宝宝”把我愣住了，
母亲爱的呼唤，我听见了。
泪光莹莹，家人挥别的影像逐渐模糊，
我赤裸的心往熟悉的情景徘回。
不孝之道又浮上心头，
我的选择真的那么自私吗？
选择自己生活方式就真的代表不孝吗？

爱能用不同样方式来表达，
我采用的不就代表不对，
可能只是较难接受。
我不是选择自己的快乐而忘了挚爱的父母，
因为我深觉现在更能珍惜在一起的时光。
爱，是用心与举动来表达，
家，就只有在有爱的心才能滋润。
我爱心的家，永远生存在家人的心。

Thank You For The Memories Part 6

If you are reading this section without reading parts 1 to 5, I would strongly encourage you to start from Part 1 because there is a good reason why I classified them into four different parts. It is a segment on my friendships in chronological order, and I hope you will enjoy walking this journey with me.

Lynette and Meei Suey were Leslie's friends first before being mine, and so was Jason. I believe my first meeting with Lynette was during the days when Leslie was experimenting with photography and would draw us out to be his models. We developed a quick friendship and I remember inviting Lynette to be my first date for my Basic Military Training Graduation Ball.

Like Andy and Marcus, both of them are more Westernized, so we got on very well together. We have been keeping email contact over the years and we had a really nice time this year when we met earlier in the morning and ate all the way from breakfast to lunch and then finally dessert at Swensens.

Time flew in those six hours or so that we spent on that day, chatting about our lives, children, Leslie and the past. It was wonderful to feel so comfortable in the company of friends and I believe that we will continue to remain friends long into our older years.

As for Jasone, he is also an Akina fan, but I am grouping him here because he was closer to Leslie than to me. We know another mutual friend Zing, who is now a famous makeup artist in HK. We met during a time when Leslie and I were deep into Japanese music and in 1985, I discovered Familiar Music Library, where Leslie and I would spend most of our days there. It is not surprising that we also ended up with the poorest results for our exams amongst our group of friends because of our devotion to Japanese music.

I remembered Jasone as one of Leslie's friends, and we were more like acquaintances than friends. However, we bumped into each other on the street last year and promised to catch up when I am back in Singapore next time, because it was my last days in Singapore then. Facebook allowed us to catch up a few months ago and we met up for a lovely meal and coffee reminiscing about the old times, friends and of course, Akina. Hopefully, he will be accepted into our VAMP group very soon and we will be able to unite more Akina fan-friends around the world.

I feel really lucky to have such wonderful and loving friends and I want to say Thank you so much for being there for your love, friendship and support. I love you all!!

Thank You For The Memories Part 5

[Photo: Me, Jerry, Daniel, Kenji, Anthony, Eugin]

VAMPIRES

We met on the Internet through our love for our idol Akina Nakamori, and I am happy to declare that we have added two esteemed members to our FUN gang. We have the evergreens, Danny Bunny, Kenji Fushigi Shounen and Ranbi, and during this trip, we met up with three HK Akina fans, Jerry, Anthony and Tina. We didn't get to spend too much time with Tina, which was a pity, but she seemed a really lovely person. Amazingly, we hit it off immediately with Jerry and Anthony and quickly settled into conversations about Akina and I'm happy to say, deeper into who we are, as human beings.

The "problem" that we used to have is that because of our common love, we rarely talk about ourselves and who we are, in real life. Our conversations usually revolve around Akina and since she has been rather lazy of late, the conversations can quickly taper off into "recycled material". With the introduction of Jerry and Anthony, some of us are able to delve into our personal lives, and it is great to know them as friends, rather than just fellow fans of Akina. Even though we are die-hard fans, we are highly critical of Akina and her mistakes, so we usually have so much fun in whatever we do.

As usual, we proceeded for our annual Karaoke session, and we had lots of fun singing, imitating, and laughing at the lame video clips accompanying the songs. Anthony turned out to be the hidden "diamond" of the group and he serenaded us with many beautifully sung melodies, including the very difficult 「瞳を閉じて」. So, he wins the 最優秀歌唱賞 while the 物真似大賞 goes to Danny Bunny for his impersonation of 水前寺清子's 「浪花節だよ人生は 」, complete with hand chops at the end. H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S!! I will upload his video performance as proof as soon as I get his approval.

Although they are my newest group of friends that I made, I dare say that our friendship has grown at an exponential rate because of the generosity, honesty and acceptance within the group. We are proof that people do not need to be physically together all the time to develop strong friendships. All it takes is dedication and a kind loving heart.



Danny is caught out below in the first photo when he told us all to do an Akina pose (photo attached below), but most of us ignored. He protested, so we took another, but this time, our visitors from HK ignored us. Ha! Ha!





More Photos: here

Thank You For The Memories Part 4

Marketing Studies

A year after I started working, I found that I could combine my love for writing with Marketing when I started studying my Graduate Diploma in Marketing from the Chartered Institute of Marketing at SIC. For the first time, I no longer found myself struggling with concepts and instead of blindly memorising data that I had absolutely no interest in, I could easily apply them to my world. Combined with a new found maturity and attitude towards studying, I managed to do surprisingly well in my studies, in spite of the fact that I was studying part time four nights a week from 7 pm - 10 pm. It was easily one of the most strenuous periods of my life, minus the Army experience because that was almost entirely autocratic, because it takes a lot of discipline to do that for two years. This is combined with examinations every three months and Marketing projects, presentations and case studies every other week.

We discussed about those times recently when I met up with Ivy, Juliana and Darren, and just as we were wondering how we survived the rigour, I realised that it was due to the strong bond that we had developed, that it no longer felt like hard work. I remembered actually looking forward to meeting with my dear friends, who were at that time, closer to me than my family in many ways. We would sometimes chat in class behind the lecturer's back and look forward to every break where we would have a chance to really catch up with others that we didn't sit next to earlier.

On Friday nights, we would even proceed to the nearest MacDonalds and chat till way after they close, and then squeeze into our friend Ben's mini, and zoom off to the airport or any lounge that was open for 24 hours. We would chat all the way till daylight when the first bus operates, and then head back home. Those were really good times that I missed.

Now, even though some of us are parents already, it still felt like those good o'l days as we reminisce about those times we shared, and some significant events that an unfortunate friend will never be able to live down. It is good to know that friendships like this can withstand the test of time. Thanks guys!

Thank You For The Memories Part 3

Seagators

Not many people are aware that I used to be a Seagator ten years ago. I worked at Seagate, my first job after I left the army, and worked as an Engineering Specialist (surprise! surprise!). I was not cut out for Engineering but like many other people in Singapore, were sucked into selecting a course of study for survival rather than interest.

Thankfully, the working environment at Seagate Reliability Department is the friendliest I have ever encountered and I made many good friends there. Fortunately, there was rarely any office rivalry and my attempts to create a familial environment of work and fun was generally well accepted. I believe many people already noticed that I was not cut out for Engineering because it was at that time where I discovered my love for writing. I called my writings Seabuzz, where I would share long emails usually about film reviews or things that interest me, like books that have inspired me as such. The most significant piece I wrote (to me) was after the death of my maternal grandmother, where I bared my soul, and hoped that everyone will learn the lesson to cherish all those close to them, and never be afraid to say "I love you".

I also recall the days when I organised outings on Friday nights after work for groups of more than twenty people, and how I really enjoyed that. We would try out new restaurants and pubs, and up to today, I am still thankful to all of them for their kind "attendance". Today, at my current work environment, there are shades of "Seagatedom", but I don't think it is exactly the same.

It was nice to see during this gathering that no one has really changed. The mannerisms, the ideals and the values have remained almost intact, though some have gotten married, while others have remained single. It's good to know that even though we don't catch up as often, not even via emails now, that deep down, I believe we still care for each other as friends. Thank you.

Thank You For The Memories Part 2

[Photo: Andy, Gary, Me and Marcus]

Army Mates

I remember how worried my mother was when I was first drafted into the Singaporean Army. It was a compulsory two and a half years national service and I recall how my mother lamented about my inactivity during secondary school, especially in the department of enrolling in a uniform group (like Army Land, Air, Sea or even Police), that would give me some heads up on surviving the army.

She didn't realise that her slightly pudgy son in secondary school was not an unwilling partner, but a casualty in the selection process for these groups, due to my low physical fitness. I will never forget my Basic Military Training, especially my first two weeks where I realised how much I had taken everything for granted, in particular my parents' love. At 19, I never imagined that one could miss their parents, but the army changed that opinion for me.

Thanks to my relatively good genes, I didn't have one of those "欠打" faces (those that provoke an inertia in someone to hit them), and since I was rather obedient too, surprised everyone in my family and mostly myself, by being awarded "Best in Platoon". I eventually went onto win "Best in Company" when I moved onto the next stage of Army training, and was later transferred to take on the Sergeant course, where I would begin my friendship with Andy, Marcus and Gary.

My dad who was one of the best fathers, would never fail to drive me to the Army camp, and as a result, used to ferry Gary and another friend along. Marcus and Andy are one and two years our junior respectively, and I don't remember any particular incident that helped to cement our friendship, but I believe we just became closer as time went by. The one significant event was us getting together to be Andy's best men when he first married, and the love and support that we provided each other.

The other reason I could attribute my friendship with Marcus and Andy because they were more "洋派" (interested or more influenced by Western cultures), and we got on well together. It was definitely after our army stint that we became closer friends, as I sent all of them on their voyages to Australia and Scotland, where they would study their degrees and come home. I was the last one to leave and the odd one out, opting to stay in Australia eventually.

This year marks the first time in three years that we have managed to gather together because Marcus was away for the past three years, in Sweden and Shanghai. I thought we had lost contact with him forever until I chanced upon his number on my mobile. I tried calling but it rung out, so I decided to send an sms to be safe. He called back within a minute and the meeting was like coming home to a band of brothers. That's what we are, brothers in arms. We have been through the good and the bad times, and we will always care for each other, like brothers do. I certainly hope they feel the same way too. Ha! Ha!

Andy has picked up photography and won an award last year for one of his black and white shots. He invited me out one afternoon for some lifestyle shots or shots that he believes speaks the person's character. Unfortunately, I was feeling the strains of my hectic schedule and hence I didn't think I made a very good model because I was really tired, and I think you could see it in my eyes. On the other hand, I think he would make a better photographic object himself, don't you think. Nonetheless, I am sharing two shots that I liked from this photo shoot.

Thank You For The Memories Part 1

Come 18th January 2008, I would have been in Australia for ten years. It's hard to believe that I have been away for a decade because it only seemed like five years ago, but this is solid proof that time does fly. The most wonderful thing besides the fact that everyone is mostly still happy and healthy, is that no one has drastically changed in appearance or much in character. It is very satisfying to know that most of my friends have remained who they are, and probably so have I, but then, that again, is up to my friends to make that judgment. I may have matured in many areas of thought, but like many of my fellow mates, the little boy still lives within.

I would like to do a small introduction on each group of friends with the photos accompanying the respective postings. When I first started writing this, I wondered where I would head. After writing two sections, I realised that I was mapping out my history of friends in a chronological order, which has turned out to be very fun. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

Oldies but Goodies

Unofficially, we call ourselves the "Group of Seven". We were all studying at the same secondary school, Victoria School, and even though I am the only one who has been in the same class with all six other members, we somehow got together for four or five consecutive Christmases at my home, when my parents threw our short lived Christmas celebration. I strongly believed it was during then, and Leslie's foray into photography that cemented our friendships. Hey, come to think of it, we were all "pioneer" models for Leslie when he first started photo shooting.

A couple of us, like Leslie and I, were misfits at school. We were not the populars nor the victims, but somehow, I just feel that we didn't fit into either group. To make things worse, we weren't very sporty too, preferring to spend our time drowning in Japanese music, acerbating our misfit status in our classes. Strangely, we are also the only two right now that are not living in Singapore and pursuing our careers elsewhere. Leslie has moved leaps and bounds while I am pretty satisfied with what I have in my life at the moment.

I have been given the nickname of a chilli padi because of my size and also my bitchiness. I believe I received great training from these group of friends who taught me that there is always a comeback to everything that one can serve. My family members actually enjoy the witty banter that goes on and we can all spend hours laughing over conversations which can unfortunately sometimes venture into nonsense. On the most recent venture, this is a short snippet of conversation that Terence shared with my mother.

We were listening to the radio reporting the winning numbers of the lottery that Sunday night. At the end, Terence shared the news that Mike's niece had topped her secondary school "Normal" stream students (who have to complete a five year secondary school education) and will now be promoted to the Express stream (four years).

Mum: That is fabulous news. I am sure her parents must be overjoyed. This is better than striking lottery and winning a prize.

Terence: No Auntie, it isn't. If you compare how much a year's school fees cost (public school - possibly less than $100), I'd rather strike lottery and win big money. She can stay back for an extra year for all I care. (All laugh)

We have such a long history of over the two decades that we have shared our lives, and it never feels like home until I catch up with close friends like Richie, Mark, Mike and Terence. We are still looking forward to the day that we have all seven people at one location again, but I guess we'll still have to wait.



[Photo: Mike, Terence and I @ Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Parlor on Dempsey Road]

X'Mas in Singapore

Singapore has always celebrated X'Mas in style. Even though we will never have a white Christmas, the annual decorations lend a festive touch to the season.














Isn't it beautiful?

A New Beginning

What a glorious way to cap off a wonderful year, especially with my advancements at work and John's amazing year of accomplishments in regards to his studies!!! A win for Labor after 11 years. The Australian public finally waking up from their long slumber of social degradation. Even though we may be prosperous, but our values have been corroded, and it is time to turn back some of the evil clock, and strive towards social justice and a loving environment once again.

Singaporeans who I meet generally like to ask the same question: What does Australia hold for you and how different is it from Singapore? My answer yesterday was an excited "After today, after the change in government, there is new hope. Hope that we will no longer be under an arrogant "dictatorship", where people and the media are afraid to speak up and tell the truth, afraid to say "Sorry" when an apology is overdue, and where minorities will no longer be "dumbed" down and will hopefully have equal rights as the general public.

I feel honoured to call myself an Australian today because the Australians have hopefully come to the realisation that money is not everything. There is a bigger thing in life known as relationships and how we relate to each other will dictate the ultimate quality of life we share as human beings. The economy is still high in the ranks of everyone's mind, but hopefully people will realise that without relationships, the place at the top or at the bottom is always going to be a very lonely place.

My holiday in Singapore has once again heightened this fact that people will always remember you for all the good you did and the efforts you make to build and maintain friendships. At times, I am moved to see how my friends will make time and effort to meet up with me, and this is a testament that even long distance friendships can stand the test of time. Even though we sometimes just move in parallel universes, never straying too far from the same conversations, there is comfort in knowing that fundamentally, we are all still the same people within.

Like my dear friend Leslie always say, we are the lucky ones who have made it out of Singapore. To learn, to grow and to give. What I give to my friends is perhaps the hope that we can survive an independent life and be happy. That is an achievement that is usually unsung and unnoticed in the spectrum of things, and it is usually then, that I recall the hardships that I have been through, to get to this comfortable place that I am in. It is also with my new circle of friends and my amazing relationship with John that has brought on new meaning in my life. For that, I am thankful to everyone for all the colours they added to all the chapters of my life.

With this new government sparks a new beginning, a new light. Through this trip, I have realised that I have been reading a lot less, and that is something that I enjoy and I have to pick up again. Until I do so, let me allow myself a little indulgence to celebrate this victory with my fellow friends.

Happy

I guess one can't ask for much more than a state of happiness.

Though there are many things that I may not have, still in my life, but I am contented with my current life goings. The reason for my lack of blogging recently is because of my busier work schedule, where I was trying to clear all my work before I embark on my holidays, which I am currently at. I don't like to bother others, so I wanted to make sure that I cleared the major work that I was meant to complete before I come back from my holidays, and I was elated that it all worked out in the end.

On my relationship front, things are going really well with John, and he has just capped off an amazing year of studies in two courses with distinctions in the end. I am really proud of him and he has really showed me a great example of how I should enrich my life with more fulfilling matters in the year to come. I will possibly be looking into a counseling course and finally do something more with my lifelong desire to speak Japanese fluently. I will definitely be looking into some singing lessons as well so that I don't massacre the cows when I open up my mouth. Ha! Ha!

I am also really fortunate to have a really wonderful and supportive group of friends, in Australia and in Singapore. It is so gratifying to know that all the years of hard work that I put into building and maintaining relationships have bore fruit and people still remember me for who I am. I wish that they would have moved on together with me, but it is more difficult to do with some than others. I don't have too many complaints at the moment, but I will definitely be seeking more frank and honest conversations with them about more important issues than just trivial goings, to improve the quality of our relationships.

On my family front, I am doing my best to do my part as a dutiful son, brother and uncle, and it has been a joy to feel so loved and pampered by everyone. It is no secret of my love for children, so it is absolutely wonderful to be "mobbed" by the two of them, and them taking turns to be frank and honest about demanding for attention and fighting for affection. If only, we don't lose these traits as we tailor our behaviour to life as we grow older. Will the world be a better place?

I am also working on trying to have a deeper relationship with my parents and getting to know them as people rather than two people who brought me up. It is not easy because it is normal for them to lapse into their daily roles, but I will try my best.

So, here I am, on my holidays, reflecting on the previous year and the coming, and putting into action the promises I have made to myself, in my voyage of life discovery and relationship building. Happy is a state of being contented with the mundane things in life that we take for granted, and I am thankful for all for that.

10th Anniversary - 愛の詩 -

It's not the kind of anniversary that one celebrates. Today marks the tenth anniversary of my beloved grandmother's departure from Beautiful Earth. Death was recently discussed in one of my Mens Group's conversations and many people were afraid that we will forget our loved ones once they depart. It has been ten years and I dare say that the love has and will always be there. If someone made an everlasting impression, then their memory will live with us forever.

Reflecting back on these past ten years, where I first made the move from Singapore to Australia in February 1998, I can honestly say that I was leaving some form of my past behind, and looking forward to my new life. Perhaps my grandmother's departure, devastating as it was to me, was a key for me to discover myself, and learn to love myself.

Growing up, I suffered from low self esteem, but always prided that if there was no one else in the world who'd love me, my grandmother still would. She was the epitome of love and kindness and she taught us wonderful lessons on giving, many that still serve us very well today in every aspect of our life. She may not have a worldly education but she knew life and love, and that was not something that can be taught. She gave and gave, even when times were tough, she never failed to look after others that were poorer than she was.

I believe that she must have her demons too, especially at the end when life took her speech away from her, leaving her frustrated at her inability to communicate. This was especially painful for her and for us to watch, a lively and loving woman disintegrating in front of us. But that is not the memory I want to hold of her. I want to remember her for the funny and loving woman she is.

There are many times when I reflect on the wonderful days we spent together. I can vaguely remember her giving me Milo at the end of every night when I just turned one, and grandpa slipping me the occasional Kopi-O (black coffee). How she would hold my little hand while we walked to the markets and took the trishaw back. How I stared with my childish eyes at the lollies and toys in the convenience store at the corner. My squeals of laugher on the swing, her gorgeous cooking, up to the threats of no longer loving me if I didn't take the money that she slipped into my pants whenever we are about to leave. The sight of her peering out of the window as Dad's car drives by, and the enormous laughter that she would initiate with every fart she let out.

These are the memories, and they are still fresh in my head. With every recollection, I love and miss her even more. The only solace I can take is that she is probably up there in Heaven with Grandpa staring down and watching us, with a remote control to more channels of life than there is down here on Earth.

I want to glorify her love and her teachings. I want everyone who has never met her, especially her great grandchildren to know what a wonderful grandmother we all had. We were blessed with such great and loving grandparents, equipped with the best tools, passing on the important lessons of life, sculpturing us into the current beings we are.

What will the next ten years be like, I do not need to wonder, because I know that I will still be holding, loving and remembering her from the deepest part of my heart, till the day arrives when it no longer beats ...

转眼十年已逝，对您的怀念依然如一，
希望能凝视入水晶球，看一看您是否幸福，
想像您俩一样现在依然守护与指引我们。

您快乐吗？
我们现在是否还是那么让您感到骄傲？

十年了，改变的只是我们成长过程的点点滴滴，
您慈祥与爱的指导，依然还是我们人生旅途中的必需品。
希望在我们有生之年，能把您教导的一切传达给我们的下一代。

十年后，对您的思念相信也不会改变太多，
因为深爱不易变，只要心中有爱，就永远有着您的踪影。

Virgin Dental

Do you remember your first dental visit? Mine was probably not till I was 7 or 8 years old, when I started Primary One. Our school had a special dentist, and every few weeks, some stranger from another class will pop in with some A3 sized yellow cards, and read out the names of the lucky ones.

I don't exactly recall the visit, but I do remember not liking it very much because I didn't look forward to those visits. I also remember the class cheering the names of the students who were called up, and I guess that is a omen that it wasn't a good thing. At that time around 1978, we still didn't have much advanced technology, so it hurt much more than what we have nowadays. Still, it is never a pleasant experience.

Tomorrow, my little 5 year old niece will be having major dental surgery (believe it or not!) with one tooth extraction and four crowns. It started with some toothache, and a visit to the dentist revealed that there were some serious issues that needed to be referred to a paediatrician, because she was gagging at the smell of the latex gloves, and they couldn't get her to open her mouth long enough.

I was a little skeptical with Mum's explanation of how it got so bad. She said that it's got to do with her sucking on the milk bottle for a prolonged time and the buildup of milk powder, which is really sweet, at the back of her tooth. I thought it a little incredulous but since I wasn't an expert, I couldn't comment further. What I do know is that my Mum and sister restricts the amount of lollies and sugary drinks they have, so I knew it didn't have much to do with the amount of sweets she was having. Mum has this "5 minute" lollipop game that she plays with them, which is allowing them only 5 minutes (or her definition of that) with the lollipop, and then re-wrapping them and storing them in the fridge for the next day. Yes, my mother does have her little idiosyncrasies, but I guess I didn't turn out too bad.

I didn't know that this is such a phenomenon nowadays until my Aussie friend told me yesterday that it is quite common and it was also reported on a special news program recently. I really pity Joy having to go through such a trauma this young, but they are putting her on general, so she will probably not feel a thing. I guess one of the worst things is that the operation is going to cost around $3000, on top of the pain she is feeling now, and probably for a few days after. Not looking forward to that. Poor girl ...

Good News

Some good news to share with everyone. Besides the fact that I have booked my "once a year traditional trip" back home to visit my folks and family during 14th November to 2nd December, I have been asked by work to represent our School at the upcoming Austrade Exhibition for Australian Education in KL on the 27th and 28th October.

I was scheduled to make my "debut" overseas trip in January next year, but an opening came up, and it was too good an opportunity to give up. I am really excited about this because I will be flying into KL on the 26th, and staying at the supposedly gorgeous Hilton Hotel, all by myself. I will be working both days of the weekend, and was initially asked to spend Monday there and take the overnight flight back to Sydney, and then have Tuesday off.

After some clever planning with my fellow Singaporean co-worker who is in charge of booking my flight and accommodation, I am now able to fly out of KL on the Monday morning to Singapore (transit since I am taking SIA), and then spend two important days with my family, a prelude to the longer holidays I will take in November. This is such an exhilarating and unexpected advancement and it is something that I have looked forward to, for such a long time. For once, I am going to thank myself for the hard work that I have put in for the past year. I was lost and now I am found. I know my own worth for the first time and this is the big pat I am giving myself on my back.

Long Days Journey Into Night

Last Saturday, we drove up to Newcastle, approximately two and a half hours north of Sydney, where John's mother, sister and family resides. It has been a couple of months since John had last seen Pat, and has missed her. Since Saturday was his niece, Chelsea's 15th birthday, we thought it would be a good idea to "kill two birds with one stone".

We had an absolutely glorious day and the weather agreed with us, delivering us a warm lovely Spring day. We usually stay over the weekend because five hours of driving is sometimes too much to handle for one day. I'm not particularly keen on driving but will do so if pressed. On this occasion, I was happy I wasn't. We left Newcastle at around 6.45 pm, and as we were about an hour and a half on the F3 highway, and about one exit before the one that we were meant to get off, John asked if I heard this strange noise emitting from the car.

I stopped my iPod which was transmitting on the car stereo and listened hard. There was indeed something flapping but we could pinpoint where exactly it was coming from. We started descending and the noise stopped, so we dismissed it. As the road flattened again, it came back and just when I was about to make a wild guess and suggest that we stop, John yelled "The car is flat. It's not going anywhere." Puzzled because we were still moving, I realised that the dashboard was no longer lit. The car was still moving probably because we have not slowed to a stop.

I quickly suggested that we steer the car to the left shoulder, which John quickly agreed it was a good idea. We sat in the car for a muted five to ten seconds, and John said that it was probably safer that we stayed outside the car. "Good idea", I thought because you never know what could hit the car when everyone is zooming past at speeds past 110 km/h. It was slightly scary, not only because we were partly stranded on the shoulder of the highway, but more so because everyone was moving so fast. The cold winds did not help as well, and as John tried to make out our exact location to tell the NRMA (car repairmen), I clutched my jacket closer to myself as I helplessly watched the lonely headlights of the cars in solitude.

John soon came back that they were prioritizing our case (good idea) because it's not like we could go back into someone's house or reside on a cafe waiting for them to arrive. The estimate was set at around an hour for them to arrive. What are we going to do to kill time? John started looking a little stressed because he was tired and we really didn't need this extra drama. Figuring out that there was no way I could find out the problem, I tried to cheer him up a little by suggesting that this was our "Long Days Journey Into Night" because I have the tendency to try to look on the bright side of everything.

We tried to think of how things could have gone wrong, and John tried to restart the car again a few times, braving the traffic, that looked at times ready to swallow anyone who took a wrong step. Then, in the dark, a four wheel drive stopped, and out stepped someone with a baseball cap on. Cautious, I clutched on my bag and moved it out of sight. One can never be too careful and this is too dark. He started asking us if we needed help. He sounded nice and helpful but I didn't trust him because I couldn't see his face or his eyes, which is such an important feature, I believe.

He turned out to be a car electrician and knew a little about cars. He opened the bonnet, sniffed and sensed that something smelled "cooked". We nodded in unison, waiting for a miracle. He made a few kind suggestions and we tried them all, but to no avail. He eventually said that since we had a repairman coming, he would not touch the car any further. We thanked him for his help and he revealed that he stopped also because he was racing someone, and thought he should stop too. Helping someone was his excuse to himself to stop participating in that dangerous behaviour.

Fair enough. He was still kind enough to stop and help, and we were really grateful. It wasn't until he left that John and I heaved a sigh of relief. Embarrassed, I confessed to John that the first thing that came to mind when he stepped out of the car was "Wolf Creek". I have not even seen the movie, but one does not have to watch it to know the theme - serial killer picks up backpackers hitching a ride and slaughters them. Okay, it was a little too melodramatic, but I couldn't be sure. There was no guarantee that he wasn't going to pull out a knife, and ask us to part with our belongings. Who's going to hear us then? What is really sad is that we have become so cynical and cautious in this world that we anticipate fear first rather than kindness, and we are more shocked when we are encountered by a good deed doer. It was rather similar that the incident that I was so angry about a couple of months back, but I guess that this situation is a lot more different.

The repairman finally arrived about 15 minutes after that. We were bored by then and tried thinking of the worst. What if he leaves us here and we have to wait for a tow truck? Which of our friends would we trouble to come pick us up if this was what it came down to? Thankfully, we had friends who were happy to save two damsels in distress if we needed, and fortunately, we didn't need it. The battery had died but after the repairman jump started the car, we were able to follow him into the nearest gas station, and wait for the replacement battery to arrive.

It was much nicer to be safe, away from the bustle of the zooming cars, and come to think of it, we were very lucky that we were near an exit and the highway was brightly lit. I would shiver to think if we were stranded on the darker stretches. I don't think we would have survived as well. The battery finally arrived about 45 minutes to an hour later and in the midst of waiting for it, we realised that the radiator had been drained as well. We topped it up and came to the conclusion that it was what ultimately caused the battery to fail.

Thankfully, the drive home was smooth but after we stepped out of the car, we noticed fuming from the front, and it was not a good sign. The radiator was leaking and that posed another potential problem to be fixed. The car is now fixed but what a night this has turned out to be.

So Sad

Even though this famous photo was taken in 1994, I do not doubt that nothing much has changed in more than ten years, and this is still a realistic reflection of life in impoverished countries. These photos are a reminder to us of how lucky we are, and how much more we need to do in this world to help our fellow human beings. If we can't even be nice to each other, how can we expect these scenes to disappear?

Watching a truncated Emmy's delayed telecast last night, the acceptance speech that resonated most with me was Sally's Field, which was unfortunately censored in the US because of her use the word "God" followed by "Damn". What she said was, "If mothers ruled the world, we wouldn't have those God damn wars in the first place." It is the ego of these power hungry men who rule our world, and as we grow richer, the disparity, not only between us these countries, but also between the rich and the poor grow wider, giving rise to more scenes like this, not only in the "Third World Countries", but possibly coming soon to our own backyards!

This makes me angry, and this photo makes me very sad, but the flip side of that is inspiration. So please exercise your voice and your vote and make sure that our collective voices get heard!!

Ironic

Isn't it ironic that we pay extra attention to brushing, flossing, gargling, and in the midst of all these, check like a million times in the mirror to make sure that our teeth looks it best it can, before we go for our dental appointment.

I don't know what is scarier. The cleaning process with the sounds that I rate as second only to chalk scratching on a whiteboard or a dentist asking me for umpteenth time if I use a hard toothbrush. I know the damage has been done. Just move on, okay?

Why do we make sure that it is that clean when the reason why we visit a dentist is to make sure that they do their jobs? Our bookstore had once a customer who told us that they have a housekeeper twice a week, and they rush to tidy up the house on the day that she is due to visit. Isn't it ironic?

Imagine

"What if God was one of us?" sings Joan Osborne in her mega hit "One Of Us". Now, imagine if these superstars were one of us ... wait a minute, they are one of us, just with ridiculously more money (and less talent in some cases), and more interesting jobs, or not. This is a hilarious twist. Enjoy!

The Funny Side of Tennis

If you are a follower of tennis, you will recognise some of these hilarious impersonations. He does a mean Hewitt, Roddick, Sharapova and Federer impersonation. It's so nice to see someone take the mickey out of serious sports and he is emerging as the successor to Federer's throne. Can he win his first US open tomorrow? It will be interesting to see, but in the meantime, have a nice laugh and see if you can spot the players without the disclosure.