Men Men Men

The Local Cleo Magazine has just brought back its male sexy centrefold and last month, it was Daniel Macpherson and this month, it's AFL (Australian Footy League)Star Brodie Holland. Hope it's not just all brawn and no brains .

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I also discovered Lewis Payton, who does extraordinary photographs of relatively unknown men, and many of them have been for the Australian DNA Magazine. He has brought many models to the attention worldwide and I just wanted to share this photo of model Rusty Joiner with you. Like Leslie, they are an inspiration ...

A Worthy Cause

It's always so nice to see people doing charitable work, let alone celebrities. Celebrities have the power to make the media stand and focus on them, and even though some of them may not be A-list celebrities (not even on TV), they still have some drawing power, which has the added advantage of drawing attention to a charity and possibly assist in getting more sponsorships.

Ex-Neighbours star Stephen Hunt (dark haired) will attempt to swim the Strait of Gibraltar, from Spain to Morocco, to raise funds for the AIDS Trust of Australia in August. He has swam the English Channel in 2002 for charity and will be assisted by buddy Daniel Macpherson and some other Neighbours stars. FYI, the photos are taken off Bondi Beach on a cloudy Autumn day.

From my last trip back in Singapore, I realised that some of my firends have some misconceptions about AIDS, and the conception of HIV related illnesses. The Gay Council there is trying to educate the public but they are constantly with-held because they can't launch promotional campaigns like we have here in Australia because they do not fully acknowledge the gay local population and that education is one of the only ways we can prevent HIV from spreading. Like the Pope, they believe that abstinence is the best way. Sadly, it will not stop people from having sex ... and possibly unprotected sex, when it is still seen only as a "gay disease" in most Asian and other relatively conservative countries.

I think it is good for celebrities to speak and act for a good cause, because they will create an awareness and in most cases, a positive attitude, especially if they have a personal cause like this case. We may not have family members or friends who suffer from the disease but at least, we know of someone who does, and hopefully, it can encourage others to feel empathy.

I am currently doing work for an Australian non-profit organisation "Best Buddies" and it is about creating and facilitating friendships between people/students with intellectual disability and their mainstream peers. I started this program less than a year ago and I can fully understand the rigours of fundraising, so I urge for more kindness around this world. If you can't volunteer your time, then maybe you can donate some money. If not, maybe you can show a little kindness to the people around you and offer a smile to brighten up a stranger's day.

Never Say Die - The Comeback -

Many people may not like the music of Mariah Carey but I have been a fan of hers since one of my best friends, Leslie, told me to get her self titled debut album. Since then, I have been a fan, and I guess one of my traits is my loyalty, once a big fan, always a fan.

Now, like Akina, my ultimate favourite idol, Mariah has had her fair share of negative publicity and being written off as a "has-been" even though she has clocked many achievements, one of which is being the only singer to have a No. 1 single every year in a decade from 1990-2000. Since her much publicized breakdown, she has been in the slumps, until this new album revived her career.

Her first single, the party themed "It's Like That" paved the way for her into the hearts of her old and new fans, breaking into the Top 20 for the first time since 2001. It peaked at No. 16, and started its downfall, but is up again this week back to No. 27 from 35 last week.

Her newest single, which is my favourite song off her newest album "The Emancipation of Mimi", rockets from No. 61 last week to No. 30 this week, which means that Mariah has 2 Top 30 hits this week.

Topping that, is the debut at No. 1 this week at both the Billboard Top 200 Albums (her first since "Butterfly" in 1997) and R&B Top 100 Albums (her first since "Daydream". Her newest release also clocked the higest first week sales for her career at 404,000 copies sold in the US.

She has received her best reviews in years for this album and I personally feel it's her strongest since "Daydream" (since I didn't like Butterfly that much). It's a party themed album which has many potential hits packed in it.

Her comeback is complete and though she may not be everyone's favourite (John likes to refer to her as the woman who squeals), I admire the courage and the determination she has, and this is the difference between a wannabe and a true star.

Pearls On The Beach

Over the last weekend, 7 of us, including 3 couples went down to a restaurant up the Central Coast, approximately one and a half hours drive away, named "Pearls On The Beach". It was Felix and his partner, Joe's wonderful idea and we resided at a motel on a nearby suburb "Ettalong", which is also a beach resort (of sorts).

It is so nice to be able to get away from the hustle and bustle of the city and just submerge in the relative peacefulness of suburbia. Below our quarters was a market where hawkers would set up their stalls during the weekend, and though the goods sold were mostly stuff from China and less fancy, some of our friends still found some goodies along the way.

We also witnessed a very young couple getting married at the motel, which all of us thought was a little tragic, considering that the motel was not new, and certainly not anyone's idea for the set of a wonderful wedding, but I guess we all make do with what we have, and sometimes, it's the love that counts ...

We arrived at the restaurant at around 8 pm, after making our way through some woods and very winding roads, which was quite scary and would be if the driver was drunk. We stepped into a white cottage which was very warmly lit and were greeted by some very friendly staff who quickly and politely ushered us to our immaculately dressed table. There was no music surrounding, only the "sound of life", as one of us put it, but the noise level was comfortable, and it added to the homely feel of a special festive dinner at home.

The menu was very interesting, and we had quite a tough time deciding on the food we should have. After deciding on the food, we went on to celebrate with champagne that John and I had bought for our 3rd Anniversary celebration and there was more to celebrate when it was revealed that our friend was pregnant with twins. It was a very joyous evening accentuated with good wine, food and company.

I had the King Prawns with tandoori sauce for entree, the eye fillet as the main, and the luscious dark chocolate, macadamia & raspberry torte with raspberry ice cream for dessert. Every dish was beautifully crafted and the taste was exquisite, except that some of the dishes were a little colder than we would have liked. Everyone enjoyed themselves and the overall experience was quite reasonably affordable as well. Even though it was night and we couldn't see the beach very well from where we were sitting, we all took turns to take small walks to Pearl Beach, where the restaurant was located, to absorb the starry night. It was certainly a romantic time to remember, even though there were 7 of us.

Sometimes, it is not so much the food or the ambience but the company that counts, but for this case, we had the best of all worlds. Getaways are so nice and it is always reassuring to know that we can rely on our closest friends to give us the best times, the most wonderful moments to remember of ...

My Virgin Feature

Walked past the Newsagency yesterday on my way home and had a look at the newest April issue of DNA Magazine. As I browsed through the pages, I was astonished to see a picture of myself on the first page of their Mardi Gras 2005 feature story. "What a surprise", I thought to myself, "What a pleasant one ... considering it was a good photo." It's the first time I have ever appeared on a magazine, so it was a very special feeling for me, one of happiness and delight, not unlike the night itself ...

A Dream

After watching my friends' exhilaration at having watched one of their idols perform on stage and my partner, John, saying that it still rates second to his No. 1 idol Barbra Streisand, it made me ponder on how much I really want to watch my No. 1 idol Akina Nakamori, and the answer is a resounding Yes!

Akina will be holding a Akina Nakamori Special Live ~ EMPRESS at CLUB eX this year. It will be a round stage at Shinagawa CLUB eX in Tokyo with 450 seats from 7-17 July, 2005. Tickets are sold at 12,000 Yen (Including tax) for all seats. It is an attempt for Akina to get closer to her true fans because sales are reportedly restricted to her fanclub and it will undergo a "lucky draw" to decide who are the lucky fans. From the name of the concert, it is likely that she will be covering many songs from her Utahime series, which is a 3 part series of an album concept that she covers other singers' hits. I have always been a fan of Akina singing other singer's songs because only a good singer will dare to attempt other singer's songs and will have the confidence to put it on record, let alone a concert.

Akina has held a previous Utahime concert at the Parco Theatre in 1994, so this is seemingly a part 2. She received rave reviews for that concert performance and I am excited about what new songs she might cover in this concert. Unfortunately, I will not be able to attend this concert, but I wish Tien and Eugin luck so that they can tell me all about it when they get back, if they do get the tickets.




I have been a fan of Akina since Jan 1984, when I first watched her performance in the 1983 Kohaku Utagassen (Red and White Song Festival), and it is my 21st year anniversary and I have never watched her sing live. I have videos of her concerts but I know that she is usually very self-conscious and thus anxious, and so the taped performances don't truly reflect her true poweress. From what I have heard from Tien and Eugin, who attended her concert last year, she is truly magical. I wrote a little history about how I "fell in love" with Akina and also did a small section on her single discography. It was all done in 2000 when I first started my website and I have not updated since, so please read the other fan websites if you want to know more about her happenings since 2000.

So, I have made a vow that I will make an effort to go to Tokyo next year with John, not only to visit Japan but also to attend my first Akina concert (which I hope that she will have one next year). This is not only a hope but a true desire, a dream that will come true ...

Bette Midler Concert

Spending over $200 for a concert is the highest amount I have ever paid to see an artiste, and considering that I'm not her biggest fan, it could have turned out to be a heart-aching experience, but thankfully, it was a night to remember ...

Bette Midler returned to Sydney after 26 years with her "Kiss My Brass" tour, complete with cabaret, stand up comedy, Broadway covers and just plain touching performances of her hits, like my personal faves, "From A Distance", "Wind Beneath My Wings" (which she claimed everyone came to listen and can still bring a tear to my eye) and "The Rose" (which was the 2nd last song she performed, and which the audience sang an acapella version of the first few verses of the song because she claimed she was tired and needed help).

She did a comedic cabaret routine rousing huge laughter from the audience with her crude and dirty jokes, many which were customised for the Australian audience, making references to our PM John Howard, which she clearly disliked. She also made fun of US President George Bush and then quickly added that she shouldn't make fun of him because he's going to have a major operation next week - to remove John Howard from his ass.

The entire performance was slick, professional and it is amazing to see Bette in such good shape and top form, dancing and singing with her three wonderful backup dancers, showing the rest of the world how to put on a good show. She also joked that none of the newer singers like Christina or Britney ever came up to thank her for setting a "good example" for dressing like a hoe, which is the definition for the new breed of singers, and was amazed that considering everything about Anna Nicole Smith is fake, that she doesn't have a recording contract. She was sharp, crude and fabulous, and the audience was lapping it all up.

It was also wonderful to see the audience responding to the numerous jokes, especially those seated in the front section, which she belittled by saying "All those of you who lied, cheated, and slept your way through with people that you dislike ... in other words, my kind of people") and how they paid a high price to listen to low jokes. She also acknowledged the gay audience, from Oxford St - she says, which is so gay, it deserves 5 A's - G-A-A-A-A-AY, and lastly the crowd from Blacktown, which she teased "Show us your mullets". She showed that she has done her homework, sprinkling her routine with Aussie references like Kath and Kim, and ending her performance with the late Aussie Peter Allen's autobiographical song "Tenterfield Saddler" to a standing ovation from the entire front section and some of us in the upper sections.

Overall, it was a superlative performance that is not only entertaining like the theme of her show, which is like an amusement park with all the scary and thrilling rides, but also something for every single member of the audience (all fans after the show) to bring home with ... a piece of fantasy wonderland that Bette has transported us to ...

Fragile

Just learned this morning about a friend's mother's death which highlighted the fragility of life. I have spoken and written volumes about the significance of appreciation of one's loved ones before we or they leave, and this unfortunate event has only magnified my belief.

I was lucky enough to discover the book "3rd Serving of Chicken Soup for the Soul" and it was a coincidence that my beloved grandma was ill at that time as well. Reading about other people's experiences and their courage to say "I love you" gave me the inspiration to return her appreciation via a "love letter". It was difficult, but I am ever grateful that I did it because it has made a huge impact on my life and the way I live it.

We always hugged during our goodbyes, but from that moment on, we always remembered to tell each other "I love you". She is no longer with us now, and the best thing is that I have no regrets because I know she knows, and she knows I know, and that is all that matters.

The Days I Spent With You

Days of play and idle
Days of fun and laughter
Days of cries and whispers
Days of my love for you

Simple events but significant moments, every smile, frown, nod, cry or laughter, I thank you for the chance to get to know you better. As you grow older and since I live on another land, I can only be with you for a short period of time. However, this allows me to cherish every moment we share and makes them all extra special.

The selfish part of me doesn't want you to grow up so fast so that everytime I see you, we can move on from where we left, but I know this is not possible. I never believed when my parents told me when I was young that disciplining me was painful for them, but when I heard your cries, I understood them immediately. This unfamiliar pain ... maybe this is what they call parental love ...

Thank you for not crying and making me reacquaint with you everytime this trip. I will never forget the audible gasp in the wee hours of the first morning when you woke up in your cot to find me (instead of Grandpa) sleeping in the bed next to you. The shy look on your face as you turned away after I opened my eyes. The delight on your face as you patiently waited till Mom and I built the children's tent house where you could call your home. The silence with the glance you held while I told you that I was leaving for Australia the next day. I'd never thought you'd understand, but I'm glad you do.

Thank you for allowing me the chance to experience parental love to a child. Another unconditional form that up till now I truly understood and would like to explore that more with you and Joshua. The simple days of just being with the two of you ...

Xiao Xiao Gan Shang - A Little Sadness -

Everytime I come back to Singapore for a holiday, I always post myself a similar question near the end of the trip, "Will I be able to live in a country I once used to call my home?"

Somehow, I always face a similar dilemma because my visits here are always laced with days of idle, where I can do exactly as I please, and not have to go through the rigours of daily work life, like I have to back in Australia. The realization of this fact is very important in the conclusion I eventually arrive upon because life is indeed a bed of roses here, or anywhere when we are on holidays.

I count myself extremely fortunate, to be able to be loved and remembered by so many friends and family even when I have left this city 7 years ago. Everytime I return, I am always flooded with invites, and I am so touched by the sincerity and the generosity of everyone and their time.

This time, I have made many more friends, which will mean that I might be open to more invitations and gatherings in the future. This new fact makes Singapore worth returning to, but is it enough for me to consider moving back here. The answer right now and in the near future is negative because of the restrictions I can still see in my life, some of which are self imposed, and some of which are governmental, hence, uncontrollable. The fact that I left this place as a "straight" man, and hence, somehow I feel that I have to put up a show sometimes, makes me fully aware of my dishonesty and my discomfort.

I love my family very much and I thank them for all the love and gifts they showered upon me, and I am lucky that I love this family that I did not have the power to choose. As we move through in life, we form our own family, people that allow us the freedom to be ourselves, and I know that currently, only in Australia, do I have a larger and closer network of friends that I endearingly call, my family, that I can truly express myself.

I never take life and happiness for granted, so I always want to make sure that I show my gratitude , just for everyone's love and friendship. As this visit reaches its end, I am felt with a little sadness once again ... but I know that I have the wonderful memories and also the time and distance, will pave the way for another highly anticipated visit in the near future ...

The Emancipation of James

Throughout my 26 years of living in Singapore, I had never identified myself as a gay man. I was suspicious but I didn't have the courage to step out as one. My trip to Sydney 7 years ago gave me the first opportunity to be myself and through these years, I have grown and matured, loved and fallen out of love, and now, am happily married to a wonderful man I call my best friend and my love.

Many things have changed, but two things hadn't ... my dislike of clubbing and stage fright ... However, being in Singapore now, makes me feel like a tourist, maybe because I am introduced and "celebrated" as one, and as a tourist, one tends to explore and experience things that they don't usually want to do back home. It would thus come as a surprise to many of my close friends back in Sydney that I would have my definitive clubbing experience here in Singapore, not a place many people would associate with the cream of the world.

I don't have many gay friends in Singapore. Before last Friday, I had only a handful but now, I have more than two handfuls, and I have to start using my toes already. I met Cecilia, a vibrant lady at my friend's wedding, and after being probed by everyone at the wedding because I was a newbie from Sydney, I was invited (or rather cajoled) to go along for another Karaoke session. During mid-session, Cecilia approached me and "commanded" that I go along with her to a "happening" place in Singapore, called "Happy". I had read about the club Happy from the Asian gay website "Fridae", and as curious as I was about the place, I wasn't enthusiastic enough (and maybe courageous enough) to walk in there and see what the difference is with the clubs in Sydney. So, when the opportunity came, I seized it, though Cecilia didn't know that I was gay (though she had her suspicions).

When we entered "Happy", we were greeted by thick smoke and was later introduced to many of Cecilia's friends, who were mainly passing acquaintances at that point because clubs are not the ideal place to meet new people, because of the high decibel level of music emission. We watched a drag show which was performed by local performer, Hossan Leong, who treated us to a live performance and a comic skit as well. It was very authentic and professionally done. After that, since I had a headache, I chose to leave early.

I met up with two of Cecilia's friends, Stephen and Kris two nights later and went to another club called "Why Not". It was not as fashionable as "Happy" but the ambiance was enhanced greatly by the personal touch provided by the extremely hospitable owners, a pair of twins from HK. About half an hour into our arrival, we were advised to turn around to a small stage, where we were greeted by a plus size Chinese drag queen doing a rendition of Madonna's "Hanky Panky". She was wearing a black corset-like outfit which cut high above the thighs, occasionally revealing her black panties, which made her look like a misfit, but I had to applaud her for her courage in stepping out and doing what she does. Just when I was about to dismiss the whole show, next stepped this voluptuous lady in shimmering sequined gown, resplendent in pink, complete with huge eyes, sexy lips and huge blonde hair, not unlike Mariah Carey. She put on one of the best drag performances I had ever witnessed, mouthing and making fun as she did her rendition of an over the top "Over the Rainbow" with full on comic antics, easily tickling the crowd. She stepped off to rousing applause and the final diva took on the stage and did another wonderful performance of a Tina Turner song, which was just as fun as the second diva, but lacked the "X-Factor".

After the show ended, the first and second diva took on the stage and unknown to us, asked for "volunteers" down the stage. I use the word "Volunteers" with the inverted commas, because it is usually our friends "volunteering" (or sabotaging) us, rather than us being free spirits. Being a "foreigner", I was of course picked to be one of the three. As I mentioned earlier, I suffer from stage fright but somehow, the new experience and the look of fear on my Thai friend Kris' face, inspired me to step out of my shadow and have a little bit of fun.

I was teased about my "bosoms" as the second diva compared to her stuffed breasts, but I took it all in good humor. The funny thing was she even asked if I was straight or gay and I remembered the smallish crowd roared when I imitated the noise she made for "gay", complete with the broken wrist. The third volunteer was an "ang-moh" from Britain, who was unfortunately, the only Caucasian in the club.

The first thing we were asked to do was to select a item amongst the three that they had, the broom (with complete centre parking - as in the brushes in the middle of the broom are damaged and skewed to both sides), a mop or a toilet brush. Being the clean freak I am, and the lucky person to be selected to pick first, I chose the cleanest of the three (some things don't change even when we are on holidays), and they joked about the mop being the same one used for the toilet after Kris picked it. We were then told that we would play a new amateur band, where I would play the guitarist (the broom), Kris would be the singer (the mop), and the Brit, the drummer, with the toilet brush and pails as drums. The music started and I was made a fool because I didn't recognize the bass from the "electric guitar". They started all over again and I threw away all inhibition and did my best performance as a rock guitarist, complete with gyrations from the hip and swinging of my hair. Kris didn't fare that well and he was substituted with the Brit, because the divas complained he was a little too "wooden". They also came over and complimented my impromptu performance, which they said was "sexy" and how they wished they were the broom. It was exhilarating and funny at the same time because I was letting myself go, and the audience was lapping it all up and I could see Stephen and our girlfriend cheering and laughing on.

After the song ended, they asked the audience if we could go and like any other, they said "No", which meant more. We were then asked the most embarrassing question, "Are you top/bottom?". Kris was the first to be asked, and he shot a confused look at the diva, clearly misunderstanding the question, and not offering any answer, so they changed the question to "Choose top/bottom". They both chose top and I was the unfortunate last to pick, so I decided to play along and said "Since they are all playing top, I will have to play bottom then." and was greeted by loud cheers and applause and hurried fanning by the divas, who thought my answer was "too hot to handle".

They eventually decided to delegate, and the Brit was chosen "Bottom", I was given "Top" and Kris was both "Top/Bottom". I was a little worried that they might get us to do something weird, but it turned out that the delegation would mean which piece of garment would have to go. Not only that, but we had to disrobe while dancing to some sexy music. I thought I got away with the top, and so I did my best impersonation of a stripper, and turned my back before stripping off my top. That was when the shyness crept back in, but was probably enhanced with the cheers from the crowd, who apparently said "Take it all off" (which I learnt from Stephen later), which I joked that they probably said "Ugh! Put it back. Put it back." For those of you who are wondering, Kris did not take it all off, he got away with pouring tequilla down our throats, but thankfully, he poured very small amounts into mine because he knew I wouldn't be able to handle it.

This account might make me sound egoistical, but I am not. What I discovered is that if we allow ourselves to drop our guard once in a while, we might end up having one of the best times of our lives, and this is undoubtedly one of my best, because I was able to let go of my inhibition for once, and just enjoy. It was like facing my fear of stage fright and conquering it for a night. I don't want this to be a catalyst for more of such adventures, but I was delighted that I have at least, this sweet memory to remember it of.

Yesterday Once More - 80's JPop Revival

"Karaoke-ing" is one of the favourite "sports" in Singapore. I believe that it should be classified as a "sport" because for some people, it is just plain endurance (especially if the session stretches beyond 3 hours), while for others, like how most sportsmen feel, it is pure enjoyment, and of course, we must understand the techniques to preserve the voice for best vocal performances throughout, which is what qualifies this definition.

On Good Friday, before I had to attend one of my good friend's wedding, I met up with Tien, Eugin, and a new friend (also a major Akina fan), Danny, for lunch at a swanky Japanese restaurant before we proceeded for 4 hours of JPop Musica Fiesta. In Japan, Akina Fans would hold mass Karaoke sessions, which would be attended by close to 300 Akina fans, who would crowd around to sing on Akina songs. This was our mission, but to spice things up, we decided to include plenty of other influential Jpop oldies but goodies from the 80s as well. We sang plenty of hits from the Kohaku performances of the mid 80s, and in the process of singing, we would try to imitate the dance steps of the singers. Now, not all singers are as capable as Akina when it comes to coordination of complicated dance steps with difficult songs (which we realized when we tried to emulate Akina during some of her performances), so it was a walk down memory lane, where we (as in Danny and I) would point out all the crazy things they used to do, and we would dance like mad, often inducing side splitting laughter from all of us.

It was easily one of the most enjoyable Karaoke sessions because Danny was such a good sport, and with our good memory from repeated viewings, we kept digging those long forgotten oldies like Kyoko Koizumi's "Nantetate Idol", Yu Hayami's "Passion", Chiemi Hori's "Tokyo Sugar Town", Naoko Kawai's "Kuchibiru no Privacy", Sachiko Kobayashi's "Moshikashite", and many other hits from Seiko Matsuda, Hidemi Ishikawa, Hiromi Iwasaki, and Momoe Yamaguchi etc. It was totemo natsukashii (extremely nostalgic) and so funny, and definitely not everyone's cup of tea. It paved the way for a "extreme pleasure, no holds barred" 4 hour performance from all of us.

It felt like deja vu meeting Danny, because he reminds me of my friendship with Zing, the top makeup artiste in Hong Kong (who is Faye Wong's prescribed makeup artist), and his zeal for life and his imitations, which are all terribly uncanny. Danny is gay and is full of fun and quips and he definitely brought out the "devil" in me, which I hope I will be able to bring back to Sydney for our next Karaoke session. Hopefully, I will inspire my more docile and reserved Japanese friends to enjoy the true art of Karaoke. Ganbare!

My Best Thanks

This has been my most fruitful trip in Singapore ever, because so many things have happened. Not only have I experienced plenty of love, laughs and happiness on the home front, but also a totally exhilarating experience of catching up with old friends and meeting new people along the way.

I was most delighted to catch up with Leslie Kee, one of my oldest and best friends, once again this year. We seem to have the best timing because he is a professional photographer, who currently resides in New York and flies all around the world, photographing the most beautiful men and women, and celebrities as well, and we always seem to meet up in Singapore whenever I come back for a holiday. His current issue of his self published magazine SuperMag features Tom Cruise and Beyonce on a double cover.

As part of this festival, Leslie was also sponsored to exhibit his works at Wisma Atria, a local shopping mall, and he selected the collages which are presented here. You might be able to recognize some of the celebrities, like Quentin Taratino (which he had only 10 minutes to photograph), Maggie Cheung and other HK Celebrities, Miho Nakayama, Ayumi Hamasaki (who Leslie photographs most of her single and album covers for the past 2 years), etc. We attended the opening of his exhibition and were greeted by more celebrities, including singers Andy Hui and William Soo, who personally attended and congratulated Leslie. Not only was I able to be introduced to them, but I was also considered a VIP since it was an invite only event. The other highlight was catching up with his Mom and pregnant sister, and we were able to catch up on our new happenings.

Leslie is not only a great photographer but also a great friend. I am lucky to have been one of his experimental models and I can only wish him more success, which I know he will have, regardless of my well wishes, because of the hard work he puts in. He is also an inspiration, not only to me, but also many people out there, to never stop trying. My best Thanks to a great friend who always makes our friendship so special and also quoting both John and myself under "Spiritual Support" in his acknowledgements page of his magazine. Thank you for remembering us. Love to you!!

A Simple Life

Happiness comes from the simplest things in life. For me, it comes from the happiness I see on the faces of my family and friends when I meet them again.

My daily routine now consists of babysitting my soon to be 1 year old nephew (Joshua) and 2 and 3/4 year old niece (Joy). They are the joys of my life at the moment and though it can be a daily or hourly challenge to receive their love and acceptance, it is a task that I will not give up for anything else in this world.

I am watching plenty of cartoons (like Snow White - which is fantastic - and Beauty and the Beast), and through them, I am rediscovering my childhood and playing the role of a parent at the same time. Parenting is a tough task and keeping up is mainly what we do, which can be very tiring, but the rewards of a smile of giggle, or even a kiss is priceless. I can now appreciate the hard work my parents had to do when they had to handle 3 kids and it makes their love all the more greater. Thank you for bringing me onto this world and showering me with love, so that I understand the only way other humans want to be treated ...

Akina Nakamori

"Let's take a life time to say, I knew you well, for only time will tell us so, for love may grow, for all we know ..." - The Oscar winning 1971 hit theme song to the movie "Lovers and Other Strangers" sung by the Carpenters, one of my favourite singers of all time.

I believe that love happens not only between lovers but also between family (that we know of) and also friends. From strangers to friends, sometimes, we are there only for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Only time will be able to tell.

I met Tien and Eugin a few months back on the Internet, after plucking the courage to say Hi on the Internet. It's strange how our idols became the launching point of our friendship and though it was a little weird at first, which is not uncommon with meeting people for the first time, we hit it off really quickly, chatting away and offering tidbits of news that we have collected over the many years of idolship.

It is different when you speak to a fellow fan because we hang on to every bit of news information that we never had and somehow in my mind database, I am able to store all these information that I would not have made available for mind perceived less interesting things. We had a jolly good time chatting away and it was so incredibly generous of Eugin to pass me many DVDs of past Akina performances from 1982 till today. Even though I haven't had the chance to watch them yet, because the DVD player has broken down, I am eternally grateful to him for sharing this very special gift.

I also rated a comment on their blogs, and they both mentioned that I am knowledgeable about JPop history and especially with statistics. My friends (both Japanese and Singaporeans) find me "weird" because I know statistic information like the chronological sequence of singles by most Japanese artists (mostly 80s) and also the single chart sales, but somehow it is being appreciated by people who are interested in such information. "Hero vs Idiot". Ha! Ha!

We are also planning to have a Karaoke session where we will only sing Akina songs, as a tribute to the joys that she has given us all these years. For this special gift of friendship (and more to come), I thank you, Akina Nakamori.

The Heat

The first thing that strikes about coming back to Singapore is the heat and more importantly, or should I say disgustingly, is the humidity. Bushfires are a common feature in the Australian Summer, but it seemed as if Singapore is also suffering from a spate of misfortunes, with hazy skies and smoky air.

There are intermittent glimpses of the sun, but strangely, in such humidity, is an unwelcome intrusion to me. I love sunbathing in Australia but somehow, this passion is killed by the biting rays and the displeasure it brings, thus drawing us to seek refuge in the air-conditioned shopping centres.

Many things have changed ... Looking up the block of flats (or apartments they call in Australia), I observe an onslaught of air conditioning units. Where in the past, it was a luxury item, it has transformed into some form of commodity. The other thing observed is the number of mobile phone ads in the paper. How many times does one need to change their mobiles to reflect their social status?

Singapore is very different from Australia, and I notice that though Australia is also moving more to the religious right, a comment made by a relgious leader about the haze in Singapore being the "Fruits of our sins" would probably have been laughed at. The rising number of AIDS victims in recent years in Singapore has also prompted the Senior Health Minister to prompt the hypothesis that AIDS = Gay Dance Party. It is not totally irrelevant, but the most serious issue brought up is that if Singapore still treats homosexuality as an unnatural act and an offence (please note that oral sex was only recently legalised between heterosexuals), how can we educate the population about safe sex via condoms when we can't even raise the issue (because it is illegal and considered non existent).

It took many brave people and years of change and courage to bring Australia to where it is today, but if the government decides that the people are not ready for this education, can Singapore move ahead and embrace human rights? It is an irony because there are many things happening right now which revokes human rights in many developed countries, even in Australia with the refugee camps and detainees, so is it too much to ask of Singaporeans. We shall see ...

Mardi Gras 2005 Photos

Yes Folks, I have finally donwloaded the Mardi Gras 2005 photos from the digitial camera onto my temporary website and you can have a look at them here. Enjoy! ;-)

Mardi Gras 2005 Extravaganza

Fellowship of The Blogs

Just wanted to introduce the blogs of my friends and "strangers" to some of you.

On the right, under the links are a couple of websites on my favourite singer, Akina Nakamori, and some blogs dedicated to her (like Happy Hamster and 乱火＠lyre19.com)

Sydney Gaze is the blog of a very close friend, whose secret identity shall maintain status quo but introduces interesting places in Sydney to dine, events and also movie reviews. However, it is in Japanese and if you do not understand Japanese, you can at least enjoy the beautiful photographs.

Lastly, Towleroad and OhLaLaParis are two websites dedicated the bringing the forefront on gay issues and usually includes very beautiful men on their blogs.

Please feel free to have a look at them and enjoy ...

A Robot's Life

I read this interesting article yesterday on the Sydney Morning Herald "We, robot: the future is here" about how Japan has introduced the use of robots in our domestic and work life. In the face of an aging population, the longest life expectancy, and one of the lowest birth rates in the world, Japan has started incorporating robots into their everyday life, unlike the US, whose primary use for robots is in the military force.

The most interesting thing to me is that Saya, who is a robotic receptionist at a university is prone to mistakes when the power is low, but when confronted with accusations that "she is stupid" by the professor when she makes one, she roars back in wrath that she isn't. It is sign of the moving times not only for the new generation in Japan when extreme courtesy is less observed, but also a step ahead for "women", fighting "injustice". I wonder how many of us would actually have the courage to shout back at our bosses when we are angry with them (and their mistakes) like Saya did. If robots can be designed to show emotion that we are sometimes fearful of expressing, are they the new models that we should be emulating instead?

On the other hand, this is rather "disturbing":

Tests have shown the cute newcomers reduce stress and depression among the elderly. Just ask Sumi Kasuya, 89, who cradled a seal robot while singing it a lullaby on a recent afternoon.
"I have no grandchildren and my family does not come to see me very often," said Kasuya, clutching fast to the baby seal robot wiggling in her arms. "So I have her," she said, pointing to the seal. "She is so cute, and is always happy to see me."

This is rather sad because our daily lives have been inundated with so much technology meant to help us finish our tasks faster, but it has also the adverse effect of increasing our task, thus robbing us of the time we spend to nuture the relationships in our lives. Is this is the future for us?

Missing You

I had a dream last night ... A dream about my beloved grandma who took me under her wings, and taught me how to love, not only myself but also the rest of the world. Without her, I would not be who I am today, and I am richer, all because of her love for me.

I may have felt down because I was picked on when I was younger, by friends and then myself, but in her eyes, I was perfect and I was able to accept myself because of her love. I have spoken of her in many of my emails and even in a presentation at university, about how a book taught and gave me the courage to say "I Love You" in a "Love Letter" to her, before Fate took her away from us.

It's been long since I dreamt of her in such a vivid way. I could smell her, and feel the touch of her, and also the fabric of her sarong that she donned, as we hugged. It was a gathering that we usually have every Chinese New Year, and it was in the same house that she said Goodbye to us in. Though I don't remember her saying much or anything at all, she was happy ... and I was happy.

She was carrying some of the new additions ... my sister's and cousins' babies, and hushing them to sleep in her arms. I remember weeping with joy when I saw and held her. Those brief but real moments, I can still savour them right now as I write.

Then my cousin and my aunt decided that it was late and they would leave. I went back to the room that she and some of my other relatives were in, and I remember protesting their departure, sobbing because I knew that I would lose her once again if everyone left ...

Like the widowed daughter-in-law in one of my favourite movies, "Tokyo Story" who feels a little guilty sometimes that she does not think of her husband very often because life goes on, I feel the same way but having you in my dreams allows me to feel your presence once again.

I know you are here with me because I see shades of you in me, my actions, and the stories that I share, with whoever is willing to listen, and you will be in my heart forever. I am so lucky to have had you in my life, and you will live on and on, because of the stories I will pass on to your great-grandchildren. Dreams are a strange thing because they can feel so real sometimes, and I am happy you were there last night. Thank you. I miss you ...